Ho, Ho, Ho

      Well, my evening was much better than expected. At first, when I stepped into the house, I thought it was going to be a horrid dinner. The people were all shouting over one another, even if they were right there in the same room, and I was the only one who didn't start drinking. But the man-cave, which was the entrance to the house, was actually pretty cool. Walking in there's this picture on the wall, which says "Family...We may not have it all together, but together we have it all". I loved that. There was a fireplace and a TV bigger than my dresser. There's this Cold Beer thing on the wall, and you open it up and there's all kinds; the perfect thing for any alcoholic.
      Then you go up the stairs and I fucking flipped. I didn't do a cartwheel, I just freaked out. It is the glamorous version of a house I used to live in. You come up the stairs and enter the living room. To your left, the hallway, with bedrooms and the bathroom. But turning right, you pass the doors to this giant porch (which, at one end, had no rail at all), and then keep going to get into the kitchen. I walked all over that house, feeling right at home. And the people? Well, most of them felt just like family members I didn't know I had. They felt like friends. And then I met an old friend, a classmate from my past, who's kind of sort of my family now. I had the best time; I laughed, I drank two cans of pop, and I even played a game where you try to unwrap a gift with oven mitts on, and the other players roll two dice and if they get doubles, they have to put on the mitts and try to unwrap it. The person who finally gets past all the paper gets to keep whatever's inside.
      And I'm sorry, but my aunts, my uncles, my cousins, none of them are that fun. The food was great, and when I left I actually felt sad...and normally I'm just happy to be out the door. But I felt like I'd just left something really good.
      My classmate...Well, both of us were really shy, but once we started talking to one another we did not want to stop. She seems like a good person and she's so motivated and fun. She's my total opposite, but we're also very similar. Several times it was like we were reading one another's mind.
      Then on the drive home, my very drunk mother wanted to get behind the wheel and her boyfriend almost won my respect by saying no, drunk people do not drive, ever. I was just about to thank him for taking care of her, and then out comes the potty-mouth! Good grief! I would not, not ever, let my boyfriend talk to me like that.
      Oh, and his mother gave me twenty more dollars. So now I have ninety-five dollars in fun money, and come GST, I'll have over two hundred. Aaaaand, my mom wants to talk to me about giving me one of her awesome cameras, so that's one less thing to buy! I just feel very happy right now and I'll remember this day for a long time. And if I don't, well, I'll just read this.
      Now, if you'll excuse me, the effects of the yummy food I ate may be long gone, but the Pepsi is catching up to me real fast.

Going Out For Dinner

      I suppose this big dinner at some stranger's house is just because it's the twenty-fifth of December. I don't know why people let the birthday of a non-existent deity go to their heads; nobody ever made that much fuss about Mary, and she's the only woman to ever give birth without having sex. She's like a holy magician, and she gets no love. Sad.
      Anyway, I'm thinking of making some fudge. Not because it's Christmas, but rather because I have a sweet tooth and it wants dessert. Actually, for a long time now I've wanted those tiny, swirl-shaped balls of dough rolled in sugar, but apparently we can't do that without making a couple of pies. Not that they would have much of a chance to go stale.
      Oh, crap, I just realized we haven't gone out looking at the Christmas lights yet. That's like the only tradition that's stuck through the years. I'm not even sure if we're having turkey tonight; for all I know it's grilled cheeses. Oh well; I suppose I really don't care, as long as we don't starve. I guess my biggest problem with tonight is that only two of us are even bothering to go to this dinner. I understand it's a day of family being together - not like every day shouldn't be - but it's just unsettling to know that one of us will be sitting at home, chatting online if his friends don't stand him up for last-minute plans. And I don't even know what the rest of my family will be doing.
      Something fun, I hope. Or at least spending it in good health.

A White Christmas Eve

      Things here are okay. Mostly because all my appointments are done until the 5th of January. That takes a load off. Yesterday was my appointment with the mental health clinic; which was where I was told I was too normal to need to ever go back. So for the whole day, I was floating. And a bit surprised.
      So yeah, I'm normal. I was tested, and I passed. I feel good about that. It's snowing here, and I love snow. I'm fifty dollars richer, and I love that, too! Finally, I can start saving up for an external hard drive or a backup graphic card or whatever it is I decide I want. I mean, it's been a graphic card for as long as I can remember; but a little birdy told me that an external hard drive would be of more benefit, because then I can wipe my computer clean and still have all my work. So right now my mind is a whirling mess of What To Do's. I suppose I could save, and be smart about it; or I can redeem my mother, who bought what I sold in the first place, and be good- hearted about it. So it all comes down to what I always am (generous with whatever money I have), or what I should be for once in my life (smart).
      Well, we're expecting company, and I believe he's here. Just because he's my cousin, I'm going to go say hi.

Portals

      I just got back from shopping; and it was the weirdest shopping trip ever. I'm used to seeing some lookalikes...But today I saw a twin for everybody, including myself; which has never happened before. I saw the future lookalikes for you, sis, as well as Geoff; I saw twins for each brother, and Mom, and an aunt...It was pretty bizarre.
      And it gets weirder. My late stepfather has an identical twin, with the same name. The mother of my mom's boyfriend has a twin, with the same voice and accent. My mom's boyfriend is said to have at least five twins. And you can't tell me you don't see a teensy bit of a resemblance between Patrick Stewart and Ian MacKellen.
      Coincidence...maybe some things are. But all? I think the mothers or fathers of some of these people committed infidelity at one point or another.
      I mean, my twin wasn't necessarily my twin. She didn't look exactly like me, which is fortunate for her. She was probably older, with longer, better hair; a prettier face, a stockier build. Taller, of course; because who isn't? But it was like looking into some weird mirror with the ability to foretell the future. She sort of looked right through me, like I was invisible; which only made it seem more real.
      I have lived here most of my life. I traveled way too much; and yet, I'd never seen any of these lookalikes before. Now I'm sur- rounded by them.
      And still, it gets weirder.
     I saw the next best thing to Shamy. (For all you regular folk, that refers to my favorite couple ever, Sheldon Cooper and Amy Farrah-Fowler. Sheldon, Amy. Shamy.) He wore a hat of some sort, but I could totally see it. I actually stopped cold and just...looked, like some creepy stalker. She was flawless. Her hair color, her nose, every little detail was exact. I just wanted to throw an arm around them, smile for the camera, and Tweet my heart out.
      It was the strangest sensation ever, looking at the pair...And I thought my last journey to Seven Oaks would be unmatched. I could see fog, and smoke; but it didn't move or fade. It just hung there, perfectly still; like I was moving toward a hologram, or like half the world was a photograph. I'll never forget the feeling I had, seeing that. Like something was horribly, horribly wrong, and I was being taken further and further away from it, and couldn't go back.
      I don't know.
     Personally I guess I'm just too anxious. I finally get what my family has been trying to tell me. I knew I was depressed, but it was sort of a slap in the face to be put on antidepressants. Yet there I was, curled up, wondering when I'd be shot or stabbed each and every time a person walked by me. Wondering which helicopter passing overhead would be the one to drop the bombs. That was me at lunch. That was me on my birthday. That has been me, every day since grade school.
      I'm trying harder to tell myself not to sweat the small stuff, like my dental X-Ray tomorrow. It seems a simple procedure, and it's nothing I haven't had before. I take my medicine, except on busy days when I absolutely need a clear head...The medicine doesn't really hit me until the following day, so naturally there is no hope for a routine. I either sleep well and live my life in complete shambles, or run myself into the ground trying to live the routine of those around me. Let me tell you, neither choice is appealing.
      But I've been talking myself into doing hard shit, because I know I need to grow up and do them. It's the worst thing I've ever done. I fear everything. I fear people. I fear myself. And above all, above flooding toilets and above hanging spiders, I fear dentist appoint- ments. They send me into panic attacks. They make me sweat, shake and wish I were dead.
      But it's just an X-Ray. The real terror is what comes after it. I have nothing to fear; tomorrow's the easy part. I've said that thousands of times and I'll keep on saying it, but I just don't know if it'll make a difference.

Why Do I Bother?

      YouTube SUCKS! It's worse than Myspace. It's a video site; and yet, as soon as I publish a video, they block it worldwide. I don't even know why I try! I gave credit where it was due; I said the whole Disclaimer, I Claim Nothing, and still they pounced on it and made it so literally nobody, not even myself, could watch the damn thing.
      I'm considering just deleting my account. What's the point of having one if they won't even let me use it? I mean, I can watch videos just fine without an account; and besides, it would let me come back on under a nicer username to just make comments if I wanted to.
      I mean, shrekfan92 is okay, I guess. But I've had it for maybe seven, eight years. Maybe it's time to move on. I just don't see the point in keeping something I never really had in the first place.

:)

      Well, even though my night was too short and my morning began too early; my birthday has already been much better than the last. Though it's not all about receiving, I've already gotten ten dollars to spend, ten more dollars in ice cream, a phone call and a text.
      Our old plans were shot out of the window, but that's okay. I think our new plans are even better. I think we're going to drive around and look at Christmas lights. Normally I don't much care for decoration of any sort, especially Christmas decoration which drives me up the wall, but it's an old tradition in my family and brings back some memories.
      I don't even celebrate my birthday for me. I like to think of it as a celebration of the day my family became whole; and the fact that it's on my birthday is just how it is. In truth, I would want to celebrate our family becoming whole even if it were my eldest sibling who was born last.
      But feeling special is a great bonus. Maybe that's the whole purpose behind celebrating this unstoppable thing called age...Not to celebrate Family Day on a fixed day of each year, but to celebrate your family, on your family's personal day. December 6th just happens to be ours. But I also have a weird habit of celebrating all the birthdays of my dead grandparents, as a tribute to their lives and as thanks for my parents'. I mean, I always end up forgetting, only to say "I'll remember next year!" and then continuously forget...But my heart's in the right place. And maybe, one day, I'll remember.
      Two things that could make my birthday perfect are if my brother and my sister could come on over. That would be nice. We could break out the old Crokinole board, make some new videos of us all...I'm not interested in presents, per se; but I do love their pres- ence.
      Sorry. I shouldn't try to make jokes...I'm not often good at that.
      Anyway, I think I've talked to myself enough for a morning. And if not, well, me and myself are always blathering on inside my head while I contribute to actual conversations outside myself. It can be very noisy at times...But I think I'll go get ready for my day none- theless.

Out Of The Fog

      The fog of sleep, that is. This medicine is really knocking me on my ass...and not in the way I hoped it would. Which is the way the doctor and pharmacist both said it would.
      I'm exhausted. More tired than I am without the medicine. All I want is to sleep past 2:30.

Nada

      Well, I went back in on the third...And got no test results. The computers were down...again. It sort of reminds me of the last time I bothered with all this testing, when the dumbasses said, "We have no opinion!"
      But hopefully these guys don't waste my time.

Here I Go Again

      Well, I got no sleep. Big surprise there. But the third is actually going to be a stressful day; my test results are apparently in, and I have to go back down there to see them. I'm actually sort of hoping for bad news, because if this is me in good health, who needs it?

Myspace Is BORING!!!

      The title says it. You can't make a post on your own profile; you have to go to the homepage to say anything. The pictures you post don't show up, and the whole Make your profile interesting - add a background thing doesn't even work for me, so it's just blank and white and boring. Nobody ever says anything, if they even can; I mean, it's starting to feel like I'm the only member.
      There are changes they could make so it would be a nicer site to visit, and maybe for once be proud to be a member of; but I don't see it happening in the near future. It'll probably remain the worst site ever until it's taken down.

      ...I turn 23 in ten days! Hopefully there are no stabbings or shootings at the restaurant this time around. I probably shouldn't say that here, but it's not like anybody reads my blog except you, sis, and I like to think I can tell you anything. Whenever I need to feel isolated...I go online.
      Hah! Raj and Stuart should wear shirts that say that!
      Okay, I'm done. I'm gonna go talk to myself someplace else. Just me, myself and I. Wonder what we'll discuss today?

Sweet With Cheat!

      Okay, that was so cool! I was playing Life Stories just now, again; and I wanted to look up how to speed up my Sim's pregnancy. I had seen a cheat earlier this week where I could choose the hour, but I found something so much better. It said to type in boolprop testingcheatsenabled true and play the pregnant Sim, and then get the Tombstone Of L And D and then find Speed Up My Pregnancy. And in less than five minutes (of real time, not game time), she had her baby!
      It was awesome. I'm so doing that from now on. Especially in Sims 2, where my Sim can have seven children...Eight, if I force twins on the seventh kid, and that doesn't even include her husband!
      Just imagine, ten Sims running around...This is going to be fun!!!

Here I Sit

      Okay, I am...
      ...Ah, f*ck, who cares? I'm going to bed. 'Night-night.

Victory Is Mine!

      I was Simming awhile back, and discovered the one and only way to have four children in Life Stories. It does, of course, involve a cheat; but that's okay. Cheats work in Life Stories - you just can't move the mailbox or else your lot will be unplayable.
      Anyway, I've known for many years that you could Force Twins during pregnancy. So I thought hey, why not have a single Sim get pregnant twice, and on the second time, just Force Twins? So I tried that and now my girl, who used to be the teenager Trina Wong, has a toddler and three babies. It's awesome. I think next time I play that family, I won't use cheats. I'll just play it normally and see how hard I've made the game. :D

      Here's a picture I took just now of how exactly it turned out:

      It's awesome! This family...Oh, man, I love it so much. It's ridiculously big. So big that for awhile, no Sims could move out because their neighborhood was too full. I fixed it, thankfully; I had to kill some Sims off. But hey. that's life!
      And if you're wondering, yes. BJ Schehl did marry another of my Sims, and they had many kids. Trina married one of them and ta-daaa! I might post pictures of the Family Tree someday...Now that I know how to! All by myself, yay!

A Bad Dream

      Have you ever had a horrid dream that you can't believe your subconscious was capable of conjuring? Jeesh, those suck. Some- times in my dream, bombs are being dropped by helicopters, and the town is burning and people are screaming and dying and running...
      Last night, and this morning, I dreamed that two killers pushed their way inside and sat at the table, forcing my mom to make coffee for them or else she would get it. And when nobody was looking, I took two guns from their bag and hid them in the fridge. Then I pretended to be innocent, looking for something to eat or drink and then I pulled out the guns and turned around and aimed for their legs. But I got them in their heads instead. And went to jail, where I passed a lie detector test and locked myself into a cell anyway because I felt so guilty.
      Eesh. Nasty. Think I might try to sleep again later.
      Oh, who am I kidding? Of course I will. But first, I'm going to, well, not. I need to shake the cobwebs out of my head and in general, just be thankful that dream didn't last forever.

I Swear, They're Stealing From Me...

      Every time I come up with an idea, it's taken. Like my mutant; a human-shaped girl with fins on her arms and a scaly body. And the worst part is, people are saying, This is so original and Very unique.
      I once designed a character named Shiloh Warner, who traveled in an RV to her concerts. And then, just to be sure she wasn't already made by another author, I Googled her, only to find out there was an actual, living Shiloh Warner, who traveled in an RV to her concerts! And, her little brother had the same name as the little brother in my book.
      I know there are people out there who copy other people all the time. On purpose. They know what they're doing, and they don't have enough sense to be unique. Me? I try. I work my ass off, and every- thing I do has already been done.
      Maybe I should become just another bumbling copycat. Then maybe I would, by total fluke, stumble onto an idea that is, in all actuality, really mine! Maybe that's where all the brains are at in this horridly difficult hobby. Why did I continue after I'd started? I swear, if one more of my characters becomes a famous icon, I'm pushing my computer off the right side of my desk and right into the trash can beside it.
      Well, okay, maybe that's a bit extreme, but it's also been a temptation on several accounts. Like the time my fabulous plot also magically ended up online. I don't know, maybe I'm a telepath or something; and I'm far overdue to tell the world to F off and respect my Goddamn ideas, because they're all I've got and I don't give a shyt about theirs.
      Eight o'clock? Good. Bedtime.

Ummm...Huh?

      Okay, so earlier this week I got my Sims into private school for the first time ever, and on the first try. Today my family was rejected. By one point. And, the Choose Household picture shows two dead Sims, bringing the total up to six Sims; and their neighbors keep calling for the deceased! At first I thought it was funny, and interesting to learn what Sims say when they call someone who's not home. But now it's just annoying, because it happens like three times a day, every day. Google doesn't have the answers.
      YouTube sucks, too; and, my Adobe Flash is fukked and not even a computer search will let me find the damn plugin that keeps crashing. I can't play one of my favorite Facebook games (well, two, but the other one's glitchy and less fun anyway), and my favorite photo-editing site and all the video sites keep crashing.
      Plus I've been up since five. My nap yesterday was barely an hour, which of course doesn't help me at all; and my mom is on my case about taking the one medicine that she knows makes me feel like I need to go to the hospital. I told her, no, I won't take it anymore because it makes me feel like my insides are being cut up. Of course, I also said I would only take a day-or-two break, and it's been over a week...But what can I say? It feels good to feel good.
      Things could be better, of course.
      But they could be much, much worse.

Sweet Start!

      I just played Canon In D, and the three songs I made up; and I didn't make a single mistake. Normally there are mistakes all over the damn place; but this session was, well, perfect! And that's coming from a girl who hasn't slept in like five days.
      And the sequel to my book is still going just fine.
      Now, if you will all excuse me (all one of you), I think I'm going to start up a Toy Story trilothon. 'Bye!

Hmm...

      My book is at a standstill. Which is fine, since I'm going to be busy enough copying it all down onto paper by hand. Maybe I'll get more ideas as I go along. Hope so.
      Watched a sucky movie called Sick tonight. Not good. It was a zombie movie, except the idiots wanted to escape their safe zone, which by the way had soldiers, and when one of the idiots thought she was shooting a zombie, she actually shot her dearest friend and killed her. Then the dead girl killed her killer, and then the killer killed one of the two men staying with her, but he magically healed and ended up getting shot by the last remaining character, who held the gun up to his head but ended up getting bitten anyway because he waited too long!
      It's number three on my Never Watch Again list. Right after Hudson Hawk and Zombieland. Followed by Shrek The Third, and a whole mess of inglorious sucky movies. But at least I'm a whole movie length's closer to bedtime; and on the plus side I did get to eat popcorn.
      Hardly nine, though. What else...Well, I suppose I could watch another movie. One I know is good. I do still have a movie I bought last month in its original wrap; maybe I could watch that. Or play the piano, or...damage my book some more. Or wash my hair, not like it needs to be done so soon. And maybe I'll just say f*** it and go to bed early. I do need the sleep; I'm getting bags under my eyes. My heavy, burning eyes...Bed does sound good.
      But first, chores. Always something standing between me and sleep. Reminds me of that song, the words to which I don't know with the title I cannot remember.

Hrmm...

      Okay, neat. First Abbotsford had a small quake, then we. I just thought somebody upstairs or in the next room was making a lot of noise, testing their speakers or whatever; and it was enough to shake the house up a bit. Nothing to worry about - nothing broke, no one injured; but it did rattle my nerves a bit. I'm not really fond of loud noises.
      Anyway, not much to say. My computer needs a complete reinstall, so I've been saving all my pictures, all my good books, and hopefully all my games. I'm not ready to lose almost 400 pages of work, plus over ten generations of awesome Sims and the best damn house I ever built (well, one of them, though I lost the others). No, I have to save it. I couldn't save everything though; I'm afraid my Sims 3 is too big for the CD to accept it. So, I just won't play that anymore, even though it is a shame. But, no matter. If my books and, especially my Sims Life Stories, can be saved; you won't hear me complaining...You'll just hear me talking about how great everything's going! And you'll know I mean it, because when I'm down I talk about that!
      Well, anyway...it's all just a bit of happiness before, well, you know.
      Hmmm...I think my latest book attempt, which is probably my sixtieth one, is boring me. Maybe I'm finally able to choke down some food or something. I'm not holding back the urge to vomit anymore, so maybe I'm ready to eat. I'm damn sure hungry enough. And perhaps I can eat slowly! That might work.

Odd Dreams...

      Hm. Okay, so last night was...weird. Technically I suppose it was this morning, too, but whatever. In my first dream, my mother, brother and I were parked underground, in front of what I clearly recognized to be the Abbotsford mall. Except it was also decorated nice and fancy; and pushing the double doors open I saw the Queen standing in her palace, waving me over. We talked - I told her we were related, told her not to trust Camille (but she didn't want me to say the phrase "Don't trust that woman," and asked me to instead say, "Don't take the bad soup" or something like that). Then we hugged and I left.
      In my second dream my sister, brother and I were wandering this huge garden behind a psych ward, and I was inside the building, riding a bike, fleeing from a talking horse with crossed eyes; meanwhile trying to find my family through these huge, tall, plants.
      And in my third dream I was running past two people to get to the bus stop in front of the library; and as I dug out my bus pass somebody saw a ten-dollar bill sticking out and he began harassing me; trying to steal my purse. His friends joined in and I was trying to defend myself; and my only rescuer was a feisty little four-year-old who did more to defend me than I could. I ran home, almost getting hit; and they followed me and broke in after I'd locked the door. Then my brother came out of his room and kicked their asses; and pinned them down until the cops arrived.
      Jeesh...Too weird. Okay, notes to self: Visit the mall more often, never ever EVER visit a psych ward, and if somebody wants to kill you for ten dollars, just give them the damn bill.

Wow...

      Don't tell anyone...But I just spent six consecutive hours writing my book!!! It's turning out great, guys. I'm finally doing what makes me happy.

Feelin' Prickly

      Blahhhh. I thought I was depressed before. I just want to crawl back into bed and forget I ever got up. I suppose this moodiness would be more credible if something horrible had happened; but no, I'm like this just 'cause. Terrific. Better stay away from people for the good of everyone.

      Edit: For all you people who know me on dA, well, I won't be on for awhile. Not because I don't want to be, but because for some stupid reason the one site I truly love is not letting me log on. Hell, everything's slipping from me. Anyway, I'll see ya when I can.

Spring Cleaning...I Thought

      Agh. Here I was, ready to delete my beloved Sims games, hoping to make more room on my hard drive for my Petz 5. You know how much space my Sims take up? Three GB. You know how much space my Petz take up? Almost ten thousand. God, I'm glad I checked first. I think Petz has to go; which really sucks, because I love my little Fawn. And my cute little Patch...I think I'll speed my computer date ahead, mate them, speed my computer date ahead, and take pictures of their offspring and then delete it. I just want to see what a Calico Shorthair and a Russian Tabby can create.

What?

      Um...I'm playing Sims Life Stories, and...in Rosie's memory panel, it said she kissed Rosie for the first time. So, uh, I guess her husband ignored her too long? My Sim likes to get intimate when she's all alone?
      I probably won't save the game...I don't know what happened...Besides, I already saved it after her kids were born. Hopefully that one weird memory is the only thing I lose. Here goes!

Hmm...

      There are two things I want right now. Well, two materialistic things; one actually made of material. A Big Bang Theory shirt, which says, Soft Sheldon, warm Sheldon, little friend named Spock; happy Sheldon, sleepy Sheldon, KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK! Penny. I just adore it. I could imagine wearing that shirt...I think I would give everything I own to get that shirt.
      And then, contradictorily, I would also love...a second computer. A cheapo with Windows ME, Windows 2000, Windows XP or Windows 98. I haven't played Petz 5 in years, and it's just sitting on my shelf collecting dust, poor thing. I think I'm going to collect my GST and buy said cheapo computer in question and relive a piece of the good old days. Mostly because I had an extremely vivid dream last night, where I could hear my cats and read their name tags, and it actually read the names I chose back in 2004 or whatever it was. In my dream I had the same mix of Honey Bear and Calico, which by the way looks like just a really fat Calico. Other stuff happened in my dream, as usual, but it was nowhere near as pleasant so I won't discuss that...
      Remember playing that with me, sis? Man, I can so clearly imagine me wearing that shirt I'd love to have, playing that game, with you...As I have stated before, if I didn't have my imagination I'd have gone crazy years ago. Maybe I'll just create a modern book character who has everything I could ever desire. Ironically none of my beautiful mutants have it all; not even with their powers or their seductive grace. And this new gal has to be really special; I want to outdo myself. Hmm...I have some thinking to do.
      I created a character who is just like me. Except dead. And she has to come to terms with the fact that she's not alive anymore, because of her own choice; and all she wants is to go back and fix her mistakes...She's like me that way, but she grieves the loss of the living until they join her. And up until Steve Harvey made fun of that exact concept, I thought it was a good idea. I haven't written about her since. So, as I said, I want to outdo myself. Make a character that's never been made - a character who comes alive in my imagination.
      Now, how the hell would I do that...

I Feel So Accomplished!

      My first book ended at a total of two hundred and four pages. I think it went very well. Tonight, I reached the fiftieth page of the sequel! And it's going even better!

The Good Old Days

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

?

      I never gave this much thought before, because I'm fan enough for three people; but hey, let's discuss it, shall we? In the movie Tangled, Mother Gothel sneaks into the kingdom with the intention of cutting a snippet of the baby's hair, which she would then hide under her pillow or whatever like a creep. But, when she cuts the hair it loses its power.
      So here's my thought. Rapunzel inherited those abilities through the Queen. The powers manifest at her scalp, not at the tips of her hair. Therefore, that lock of hair - which by the way, hasn't grown an inch in all of her eighteen years - should not have lost its capabilities.
      But hey, if you can slam back a magic soup and give birth to a magical baby, anything can happen. I mean, that soup, and its magical contents, should have gone to her digestive system, and not her abdomen. But if you can beat around the bush, why not ignore reality when you should really be writing about magical poop?

My Second Self

      Okay, so I've always talked to myself from like eight different perspectives. Maybe I'm just trying to look at each situation from every angle; or maybe I just think too hard when I'm writing a book and I have several characters with different personalities or maybe... maybe I just all my marbles. But that's alright. When I switch to my second personality, I know she has them all bagged up.
      But I am crazy. Sometimes I think I'm still a kid, meanwhile I'm acting like an old woman. Sometimes I forget who I am and where I'm going and what I'm doing...And sometimes I wake up feeling smart, and powerful, and so...incredibly not me that I feel I can do anything.
      Most of the time I feel horrible. And not just physically, but mentally. I'm stupid, and the worst part is, I know I am. When people say No, you're not; don't be so hard on yourself, I want to scream. Nobody listens to me.
      I know I'm a moron. I can feel this heavy, unmovable block in my mind. It's only gone on those rare and wonderful occasions when I wake up feeling like a different person; and on those days, I know I'm not the dimwit I usually am. I want to clean, and do homework, and just dive headfirst into all the things I normally loathe. On those days I'm different, because I am.
     Too bad those occasions don't happen...well, every morning.
     I'm undergoing a lot of change soon (in like, a whole fucking year; which is way too far away from now). I'm going to get my ugly teeth repaired. Maybe after The Big Change I'll dye my hair, buy lipstick, date - who knows? My mom wants to call me by my middle name, says I need to start my life over. I sure fucked this one up. Her boyfriend wants to pay for my tattoo, which I'm not sure about getting. I mean, what if I lose weight after the fact? Yucky.
      But I know that no matter what I look like, I'll still feel that block in my mind, keeping me from learning anything of significance. I know that when I try to tell someone how slow I am; they'll just roll my eyes and tell me to lighten up like my voice doesn't count.
      There has to be more to life than wishing it away. I wish I were different. I wish I could work. I wish I could add ten and nine without needing a calculator. I wish I wasn't going blind. I wish I wasn't going deaf. I wish my heart would beat normally. I wish my skin wasn't gray. I wish we had more food. I wish I had purpose. I wish I could see my sister whenever we wanted to visit. I wish I could take back all my bad choices. I wish, I wish, I wish! And I don't have a single penny to my name to spare.
      God, life's depressing.

...

      A long, long, long time ago I posted an entry called "Ties Into The Past".
(http://shrek-4-ever.blogspot.ca/2015/01/ties-into-past.html).
      I had just discovered that Artie, a character in Shrek The Third, had been based off an actual king named Arthur.
      Well, last night I discovered the rest of the story. In a show called Merlin, there existed a king named Arthur Pendragon, who loved a woman named Gwen, and who knighted a squire named Lancelot. This simply cannot be coincidence; they had to have done it on purpose.
      I miss the days when I thought Shrek was all about fictional characters, like Pinocchio or the three blind mice or the three little pigs. But, at least it's not a big loss. It's not like Shrek The Third was ever good to begin with. Hell, I can write better than that. Yes, the idea of a school outcast being crowned king is a good idea, but come on. Mayor Of Loserville?
      Every time I think about Shrek The Third, my head aches. You know, I think I will try to rewrite it. Even if it turns out badly, people will still prefer it ogre the movie!

What Is The Dumbest Question You've Ever Heard?

      The dumbest question I have ever heard would without a doubt be, "Is fire weather? Like, does fire count as weather?"
      Um, no. It doesn't. It is an element; among earth, air, spirit, and water. Read a book once in awhile and you might know more...Maybe go back to school. They have tons of books. And get this, some of them actually focus on what you want to know!
      I'm thinking of going back, too. But it would have to be a diff- erent school.

Mislabelled

      Sometimes trying to find an episode of Little House is a real pain. It's getting better, now that I've figured out the list Wikipedia provides; but apparently there's an episode called Quiz that exists on DVD, but is not mentioned. In addition, the list says certain episodes are on each disk, and there are actually either too many episodes or not enough episodes on it.
      It's a little frustrating...but at least I can correct the order of the disks. That's wrong, too. Still, it's been really nice to catch up. I guess my favorite episode so far is Darkness Is My Friend. I didn't like it when the damn gunfire made me fly out of my skin, but it was otherwise awesome. It was the one episode I couldn't predict; other than having warning bells when Pa went to the door. I knew I'd hear gunfire, and it still scared the living shit out of me.
      Figuratively, thank goodness.
     Ah, memories. It would be great to sit around as a family and watch it like we used to, all those years ago...But it's nice to catch up at all, even if I am alone. I like Pa; he's real earthy. And his voice never, ever fails to remind me of Wolverine. Also his eyes, and the way he moves, and talks. Or maybe I'm just overdue for an X-Men movie.

Irony And Face Removal

      I see all these ads lately. Celebrities who look totally different without makeup! Well, yeah, they all do; they took off their face. You wear makeup most of your life, yeah, you're gonna look different as hell when you peel it out of all your crow's feet and wrinkles. They had that crap caked in there every day for years on end; in order to not look different you'd have to have had so many facelifts that I could do my own makeup looking into the shiny stretched skin of your cheek.
      I saw this commercial for a model doing a photo shoot. She had her legs bent at the knees, and her feet weren't even under her; they were to her sides. Her hands were in her hair, her head was thrown back and her mouth was open. She looked like a mix between a stripper and a fish; and she stood there, just like that, probably swallowing back drool, for minutes as the cameraman got ready to take the picture. Her eyebrows were drawn on and she looked like she had woken up minutes before and slapped the makeup on with her feet without using a mirror. She looked absolutely insane. Beautiful, maybe, but it's ridiculous what people will do for the camera guy. And she'd have looked a lot more beautiful if she'd closed her fat lips, or at least have tilted them into a smile.
      'Course, with all that makeup on, if she tried smiling her cheeks might have begun to peel.
      And she really needed to put on some clothes. I don't care how thin and smooth you are; I don't want to see all that hanging out while I'm trying to eat. Nor do I want to see naked people so incredibly fat that if they started clapping, they could take flight. I might have a little pouch on me, but at least I don't weigh more than half the mass of the car. In comparison my little belly is wee. Cute, even. Their arms alone probably weigh more than I do. It really inspires me to work out, though, because I don't want to end up like that. Wearing tents for clothing. Having to wear two hospital gowns at once just to cover myself. Having one plane seat for each ass cheek. Being lifted by the construction truck because I couldn't squeeze my fat ass through the double doors. No thank you.  There is a limit; and when your belly button can kiss your boobs, you've reached it!
      Well, okay, that's probably enough. I probably come across as just a bitch, but I'm really just trying to improve my humor. Not that all that isn't true, but hell, I'm probably just spending too much time around my brother. The tent clothes, the hospital gown, that's all him.
      And I claim the rest.
      Well, anyway, on to a topic that's not so heavy. I keep bothering Mom, "Want to watch some Little House?" Not that I care for all the drama and tears and church-Bible-God-church-Bible-God stuff. I don't. But, the story lines are generally good. I like the characters. Mary's my favorite. Reminds me of you, sister! A lot! With her blue eyes, glasses, long hair, quiet voice. Hell, she reminds me so much of you that she's the only character capable of making me cry along with her!
      But, I ask her to watch an episode here and there because it has taken us two years to finish Season 1, Disk 1. So, I took them into my room and am watching one, two, maybe even five episodes a day. I don't watch them all, because I do want to leave some a surprise when I watch them with Mom...in like a decade. But in the episodes I have seen myself, Carrie fell into the mining shaft, Mary went blind and went to the blind school, married her teacher Adam Kendall after a little bit of cold feet (look at that, sis, she moved away and got engaged! I've never been so reminded of you by a movie character before!), found a little girl even though there was a sandstorm and she was blind before it came along, and moved back to Walnut Grove after her blind school was sold. Willie and Nellie teased her for having glasses, Laura befriended an old man deemed a maniac who lived in a disgustingly filthy house; and, well, Nels Olsen made a comment, true or not is beyond me, about wanting to kill Harriet. And Harriet Olsen overcame her racism to embrace all colors.
      Yep. Good times. Lousy music, hate the drama, can't relate to the church-goers, but, good times. I grew up on this show; and I'm so many years behind. Apparently, it's been on TV all this time; but what with basic cable and all...Well, no matter. I'm actually luckier than they are, because I get to choose which episode, when it comes on, and when its commercial breaks are. Plus, I can slip on my headphones and watch it late at night when I can't sleep.
      Which reminds me, I better start trying! I can't believe how long this thing is...And to think, it's all about celebrities and their work. Who would've thunk it?
      Ah well. G'night!

That Was Brutal

      I haven't gotten to sleep yet, though I'm still bleary-eyed from trying. But, I'm wide awake now, because I had this intense pain in the left side of my chest. It was so intense, I couldn't even breathe without it hurting. I sat up, leaned against the wall, and breathed small, shallow breaths. Eventually it passed, but now I'm scared. I always thought my heart was weak. Always had my suspicions. It never hurt that badly before.

A Year Later; I'm Still Here

      Right here, on the first @#$*ing page.
      I'm terrible at doing what I love; even when I try my best. :(
     Maybe I should just throw in the towel and write the plans, but leave the actual writing to somebody with an inch of skill.None of it is turning out at all how I'd hoped. There might be one or two good moments, but that's not enough.
      I want to write something enjoyable, but I just can't think out- side of my own head.

I Feel Funny

      And all I had to do was read jokes online. Now I know my humor isn't the worst.
      If you want to kill some time and some brain cells, look up cat jokes and go to jokes4us. If you have been told you are NOT funny, read that. You'll be confident again in no time. And, if you submitted one of those jokes, wow. Do not quit your day job. Unless, of course, that is your day job. Then, by all means, quit!

Pre-PC Purge

       Well, that's the last time I try to watch my Animorphs DVDs. All I wanted to do was watch The Front, the final episode; but my computer just wasn't having it. It screamed, froze, and then crashed. So now, after all my hard work with books and poetry and all my gaming success, it looks like my computer might be given a complete reinstall.
       I hate losing all my work.
       And the real sucky thing is, I'm used to it by now.
       Which doesn't make it suck any less.
     But, I transferred the most important files onto my Flash, in- cluding my backed-up game files; so hopefully even when my com- puter loses everything, I lose nothing. I did everything I could.

That's Pathetic, PC...Really Pathetic.

      My computer is making more noise than lovers. And all I did was play three Facebook games. The inside of the brain was cleaned, too, so it's probably my graphic card - the biggest fear of every financially screwed gamer. Oh well. I have spent most of my life waiting, so there is always the Internet to satisfy my damn urges while I wait for a new one. And no, I don't mean it the same dirty way it sounds.
      We had payday awhile back. Thank goodness. We had a pizza dinner. I also got my hands on some treats: chocolate ice cream with chocolate sauce, and yogurt, and Boost...Oh, and pop and chips! I'd nearly forgotten about those. My bad; I do love them...too much, in fact. I wish, for the five-millionth time, that I could have my sweet tooth extracted. But unfortunately it's just a saying that means I'll crave junk food until I die, fat and happy. Well, fine with me. Who wants to die thin and sad? I don't want to go my entire life denying myself the fatty goodness there is to be had. I deny myself so much already. Love, dangerous fun, even laughter. I have my reasons; but God, I wish I could ignore all my health issues and just be crazy! Even for a day. But no, I have to take all these pills and do nothing that's more exciting than chores, catering to my daily needs and getting the mail. I honestly think I'm going crazy.
      Well, at least when people ignore me, it isn't because I never tried to warn them.
      Been going to bed at 2-ish in the afternoon for awhile now. Sometimes I don't wake up until midnight or later, and sometimes I don't sleep until 2-ish the next afternoon. It makes my family worry, for some reason; but I'm happier than a pig in sh!t because I need all the sleep I can get. But, for some reason, I try to get out of this blue funk because they want me to enjoy my day. Right. Like there's something to take pleasure in. Besides, I like blue. And funk is comforting. It's familiar. It means I can never be disappointed when nothing works out, because it goes exactly how I knew it would. It's the only thing that's been true to me, a constant in my life. Happiness is so deceptive, so betraying. Always stabs you in the back, just like 'friends'.
      And family. Family, too. God, I'm treated like a robotic dog here. "Go for a walk!" "Go have a bath!" "Go fetch something from my room." "Good girl!" And yes, those things are actually said to me. It makes me f**king sick.
      I wish I could express my opinion without having to worry about being kicked out for my vulgarity. And I probably wouldn't be kicked out, but they would never let me forget that I was oh, so hateful - just an insolent little b!tch; the bad child.
      Hahahaha! I'm just so sunshiny, aren't I? Completely not insane. I just need to relax and let my favorite music do its magic. Okay. Block out the world, and smile...

Resurrection All Over The Place

      I was just playing Sims 3 Supernatural. I kept my word and used the Zombification Elixir, but the in-game zombies are boring as hell. They stagger, moan and eat plants (and honestly, it sounds more mechanical than leafy). They can growl at other Sims, but no, they can't bite other Sims. It was a very yawn kind of experience.
      Anyway, I was trying to get my Sim to use the alchemy station; and it happened again where he was teleported by some glitch outside the house. Very annoying. So I thought maybe he should go on down to the elixir consignment shop place; and my deceased Sim was there with her surname in place of her marriage name. In other words, the game took her copy from the Move In Household catalog. I didn't do it myself; I didn't want her there. I don't want a Sim who has died to come back as something that is not a zombie; if I wanted to use that Sim I would have. But suddenly the game is freaking out and choosing to use the Sim-copies by itself?
      Too bizarre. Anyway, what with the alchemy station bug and my dead girl back on her own two feet; I quit the game without saving it, at the cost of three moonstones. Sigh. Hopefully I'll be able to find them when next I play...And hopefully my Move In Household catalog is not spawning copies all over the damn neighborhood, either.

It's Been A Long, Long Day

      I got up at eleven AM. For some inexplicable reason I'm torturing myself, trying to get back into this ridiculous routine. The idea's not ridiculous; it's probably the best thing for a human, besides diet and caution. But...the feeling it gives me is ridiculous; always leaving me even more exhausted than usual. The burning eyes, the spinning room, the flashing lights, the nausea, the dizziness, the sensation my mind is still asleep while my legs run forth. It gives me the whole package. And yet, I insist that eleven AM is sleeping in. Oh, man, all I want is to sleep the day away like I used to. It was sooo relaxing. Depressing, sure, depressing as hell, but at least I could get through the day without falling asleep at the table.
      Maybe 30% of the day was passed by Simming. Last night I chanced across a cheat called BuyDebug, which gave me quite a few milestones of leverage in the alchemy career. I now know what complete power feels like. Yes, it's pathetic to get it from a game; but today my Sim concocted Zombification and sometime, maybe tomorrow, I'm going to cause an apocalypse and wreak havoc on the town! And this BuyDebug cheat also gives me the option to lay spawners for fish, plants, mushrooms, gems, you name it; and I rocketed from one moonstone to seven. I also got eight sunstones now. I'm only three moonstones away from completing my own little wish - to have ten of them. They're an ingredient for the Bottled Lycan's Bite as well as the Bottled Witch's Brew, so I really only need two moonstones. I'm thinking once I have acquired eleven moonstones, I'm going to revive my gem-cutting ghost and have her chop one up into a pretty display. I used to loathe the idea of cutting up something so rare; but now that two are appearing each night, I would love to see how it looks. In addition they can bring up the value to one or even seven thousand dollars! Plus they sparkle off the walls, so I bought a display case and put them on stands and pillows. Wonder if I can edit their styles, too?
      I also put Deathfish, Luminous Salamander and Fairy Damsel spawners into the pond at the back of the science lab. Apparently "Buy On This Lot" doesn't appear in the ocean, so I needed a body of water inside the grid. My little virtual world was not growing Glowing Orbs, nor was it producing the aforementioned fish in the water; so I cheated and put them there myself. Sometimes you just have to take matters into your own hands, I guess.
      My graveyard is growing. Eric Peters The First is the next to die, but he's my alchemist. Thankfully he's going to keep his skill mastered as a ghost, just like his fishing-master sister and his gardening-master sister-in-law. Two Sims have died from transmuting gold, and their deaths were without a single doubt the funniest Sim-deaths I have ever seen. The woman died first, trying to run away from the Philosopher's Stone. She was looking over her shoulder. Then the man died, looking ahead in absolute terror, shielding his face with both hands. So, I created a little room just for solidified Sims, and now it looks like she's about to crash into him. It's pretty comical.
      And if I ever get bored of them; they are solid gold, selling for fifty grand each. But I like how it looks like an impending collision, so I might keep them. Sure, it bumps up the bills to the thousands, but heck, they already have almost three hundred thousand; so I guess it'll take a long while before it starts to put the strain on them. And I can probably just move the statues to the graveyard. Maybe that would drop the cost of the bills and let me keep the statues, too...I don't know. I've never had a Sim fill their own veins with gold before. I suppose it's kind of like Lady Deathstrike, when Logan fills her with adamantium and it cools inside her bloodstream and turns her into a rock.
      Eric has every ingredient required for every alchemy recipe. It's awesome. With him, I can do anything. I already cured his vampirism, because I was tired of having him housebound during the day. They don't really do much, other than read minds and rob the supermarket anyway.
      Let's see...Well, speaking of X-Men, I was able to catch a few snippets of Origins today. I ate a few times, and...I have been boring myself to death the rest of the time. I played some Facebook Scrabble, but that only takes you so far. Washed my hair, but hell, it'll probably be gross again by tomorrow. My glasses sure don't stay clean long; I cleaned them and had to do it again an hour later. My brother says they're not dirty, they're just horribly scratched. So, there's a silver lining, I suppose.
      I started and finished Alone At Ninety Foot in less than twenty-four hours. It's kind of depressing that my biggest achievement is whipping through a book so fast, but at least if I had been studying for a test on Pamela Collins, I'd have aced it.
      Well, there's probably nobody out there reading this. It'll probably be a week or two old before it gets a view that isn't from me. I'm boring you, I'm boring me, and my book is going nowhere if I'm writing here. Well, my book isn't really going anywhere if I'm writing it; but that's not the point. I think I'll go eat again, maybe watch the second movie lent to me. Or maybe I'll peruse YouTube again, or go to bed early. Or...whatever. Like Pamela, I will cross that bridge when I get to it; and hope nobody pushes me off.

It And Them

      Whoever first said money can't buy happiness was an idiot. A wealthy idiot who never knew suffering and therefore took his riches for granted. Of course it can buy happiness. Want to know why? Because it buys everything. A house, a pet, jewelry, clothes, whatever surgery you may need - anything your heart may desire. With money, there are no limits.
      Money buys happiness every day. And people like them wonder why people like me are so depressed. WE'RE BROKE!
      People who say money can't buy happiness really piss me off. If they knew what trying to decide between rent and food was like, they would shut the hell up.

Wow!

      Okay, Tinker Bell is relatively for children, right? I mean, come on. It's got fairies, it's made by Disney, it's obviously a kid show. So I was not expecting to see not one, not two, not even three, but four fairies listed as lesbians. Rosetta, Silvermist, Iridessa, and Vidia. VIDIA!
      I sort of expected it of Clank and Bobble (male fairies)...but I certainly didn't think any of the girls would have girl partners. I don't know if someone's playing with Wikipedia again, but I just never expected that from a children's show. I've never heard the girls use endearments; other than Vidia condescendingly calling someone dear. But that would just be like if Penny called Howard sweetie, which I personally guarantee will never, ever happen.
      Don't get me wrong, I'm not homophobic; I'm just...amazed, I guess. I mean, I haven't seen them be with any partner. They never talk about them. I just assumed Tinker Bell and Terence were the only fairies to actually think about relationships.
      ...Oh wow, I'm such a geek. Hahahaha!

Ties Into The Past

      Okay, well, I just stumbled across something amazing; which I can honestly say has never happened before. Normally if I stumble, I just break a toe. But if you just love Shrek The Third, for whatever reason you may have, you will know that Prince Arthur attends public school and is known as a giant loser. And his rival is Lancelot.
      I don't know if they planned this...but...according to the copy of 20,001 Names For Baby I have in my lap, written by Carol McD. Wallace, the name Lancelot means "servant". And, according to the little sentence describing the history; Lancelot was a knight who - get this - seduced the wife of King Arthur. 
      This is so, so incredibly perfect; because I wrote a long, long time ago that [Shrek The Third's] Lancelot was a servant to King Arthur. And yes, [Shrek The Third's] Lancelot is a knight at Worcestershire. (Perhaps not a real knight, but he does joust while wearing armor; so it's very assumable he dreams of one day being knighted.)
      I would think they based their movie on history itself. Your take?

Different Strokes

      Why does everybody care what I believe? I don't believe. Read my lips, I am an atheist! Understand? I don't believe in God, and I don't need to just because that's what you think. I can make my own decisions. It won't be long before I'm thirty. I know what's right for me.
      And I did believe, at once. It was right then. But now my faith is placed elsewhere, and I really don't see why it concerns you. So back off. Before I call my minions and we rain fire on you.
      I'm just kidding. I don't believe in Satan, either. Please. A red devil living underground? That's just ridiculous. But to be fair, I don't need to believe in Hell to believe your clothes and hair can be very, very flammable.
      That being said...is there anyone out there who puts humans first, cares about animals, cares about the environment and is not a back-witted street preacher?

I Give Up

        I quit. It's impossible.
      No sleep...AGAIN. Why must I always feel tired, if I can never feel awake? There are many things I don't understand, but that is the question in most need of an answer.
        I guess I need to wait until death to have even a chance of rest. I'm sorry, that was very bleak and disturbing; but I reserve the right to be. At all times. It's the only lifestyle I'm good at keeping. And I guess I've practiced being bleak so long that it's become a hobby.
        Three times now, on a very rare and special occasion; I've had the privilege to literally think outside the box. I've experienced what it must be like inside a normal human's head. I went through a glorious part of the day...not depressed. Not slow. Not even stupid. It was a very alien experience. I felt smart, and powerful. Ready for anything. I knew it wouldn't last long; and of course, it didn't. But to have that taste of normalcy for even one minute was the second best thing to have ever happened to me. I sincerely hope it happens again.
        Today is not my day. I have to wake up feeling that way. And seeing as how I never woke...no. It's going to be a very bad day. I'm going to relieve myself, maybe eat something, and try again for sleep. And for once I do hope I'm awake for supper, because it's going to be pizza. With chips, pop, and The Walking Dead. That's the only reason I have to smile today.

They Can't Count To Three

      Okay, I have a confession to make...to Siberia, where it's safe, of course. I'm a little messed up in the head. I have several accounts on almost every site I joined. I don't talk to myself; but sometimes I want to say something my friends wouldn't approve of, so I log into my other account and let them hate on someone who they mistakenly think is not me. I'm even thinking of creating a second Facebook account so I can get cool stuff in the apps for free.
      Well, with that being said, I'm looking at my second deviantART page, and the statistics are...so off it's funny. On December 25th, I received a profile view. On December 26th, I got another one. And today, which is listed as tomorrow, I got, or will have gotten, a third profile view. And do you know how many it says I have? Eighty-six. Gee, how magical is that? I have ghost reviews. They're important enough to be recorded, but not important enough to be visible to me.
      I'm probably weird to have all these extra profiles. On YouTube, I have three. On deviantART, I have two. On Need For Speed World, I have three accounts. The only thing I haven't done is made a second Facebook account so I can beat myself at a game! And that...that would just be sad.
      But what can I say? I got tired of being who I was. I wanted new usernames. Maybe you think I'm crazy...Or maybe, you do it, too. All hail the weirdos, woot woot!

Just Came To Say 'Hello'

      Well, it's been awhile since my last post; so I just thought I should warn the world - I'm in a worse mood than usual. I do apologize, but there's nothing I can do. I've gotten no sleep, and if I go back to bed I will either remain disappointed; or, sleep the day away. Boy, that sounds nice. I just cannot relax at night! I need to revert to my nocturnal stage. This whole routine thing is killing me; even I'm not used to being this tired.
      Seriously, what kind of unemployed person needs more than ten hours in a day? I'm happy living life six hours at a time. It's perfect. I can eat, take a bath, eat again, and clean up my dishes. The next day I can eat, wash my hair, eat again and clean up my dishes. That routine I have no problem keeping. And, I feel a hell of a lot more refreshed when my day is six hours long. I can think straight. I can solve problems. The other day, I got two measurement equations right! Do you know how often I get something right? Almost never! Two in a row - that's big. And, I didn't study. Mainly because I'm not a student, either.
      I'm also going to be bitchy today because even on nights that I do sleep; something is still not right. I have a pain in my knee; my stomach is cramping almost every day; my eyesight is getting worse; I'm hallucinating; and for some reason I have this sharp stabbing pain in my ribs. It's weird. I feel like an old lady. And I'm only twenty-two years and one month old; so I know it's not age-related. Of course, that would be my luck.
      I have these Flavor Burst vitamins by Centrum on my desk. They're so, so tasty. I've been eating them like candy. Unfortunately, they don't seem to be improving my health. So really, they're just serving as a snack.
      But hopefully today I can get a real snack that prevents me from eating them all in the next few hours. I am, apparently, walking downtown and going someplace today - I don't even know where. If it was a drunk text she didn't mean, I am definitely going back to bed.
      There I go again. Definitely. I hate that word; I use it all the time. At least I stopped saying B-E-A-utiful. Then again, trading one bad habit for another really just makes me an alcoholic.
      Okay, I feel like I'm going to pass out...or vomit. Not necessarily in that order. I need to go. Go where? Do what? Stay here. Do nothing. Just leave and pretend I went someplace to do something. Great - I've got a plan. And my plan is, come up with one.