Wednesday, August 21, 2013

The Big Bang Theory: Fan's review

It starts off with an experimental physicist searching for his new roommate. In common with Leonard Leaky Hofstadter, his new roommate's work is also theoretical. Enter Sheldon Lee Cooper, a character who has become the favorite for many viewers. One thing any true fan knows about Sheldon is that one of his biggest quirks is how he knocks on your door. There are nine knocks divided into three groups, and after each consecutive knock of three, he will call your name. He also has a "spot" - he always sits on the far left side of the couch. His intelligence quotient is a high of 187, and he knows things that many don't. He has a strict routine; and is immune to sarcasm and humor. And when he knows something means a lot to you, he will spend all day practicing his smiles, even if it just doesn't interest him. Strangely, I find that ridiculously endearing.
When I first watched this show, and was familiarizing myself with these characters; my favorite was Leonard; then Raj; and now it is Sheldon, even though I still like Leonard and Raj. Just not as much anymore. With them it was a passing adoration, but I have truly, deeply and irreversibly fallen in love with Sheldon Lee Cooper. His counterpart, Amy Farrah-Fowler, also has become one of my favorites. And there is sweet, tiny Bernadette, who has a hidden mean streak. There are also Penny and Howard. He chased after her until the day he met Bernadette. What she sees in him, I'll never know; however, she too has become one of the most beloved characters.
Their quirks have become infamous and adored; though there is the occasional passing remark that the show's loyal fans would find distasteful. I don't know how there can be any hate for this show - since it is the only show Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady should take pride in. Their other shows, Two And A Half Men and Anger Management, should never have been made. What many find unforgiving are the facts: They fired Charlie Sheen, the best actor in Two And A Half Men, and hired a woman to play his ghost. Then they put him into The Big Bang Theory, and from what I can tell by the four seconds he is onscreen, his character is unchanged. I say this because, just prior to his appearance, the "science dudes", as called by the dimwitted Zack Johnson, mention a man with a beautiful beach house and is popular with the ladies. That, and Anger Management stars Charlie Sheen. I must say, Sheen has what I wish I had. If I worked for a director who fired me; I don't think I'd have the courage to work for him again. I admire him. If I had been in Lorre or Prady's position, however, I wouldn't have killed off Sheen. And if I hadn't had a choice; I would have brought in Chelsea again. She was, after all, his fiancee. And Rose, and Mia, and all the other people who were in Charlie's life. But since his death, which was far too out of character; those characters have walked off the face of the earth and they need to be brought back in. After all, I want to see how they're dealing with the loss of a man that meant a lot to them! I want to see how Rose is doing, with the accusations, true or false, that she killed Charlie. And for your information, his death should have been more in character. If he had to have been killed off at all; it should have been by AIDS, from having sex too often. Or perhaps it should have been alcohol poisoning. But, instead of using their brains, as they do so well with the Big Bang Theory, they decided to have Rose - a woman who loved him - push him in front of a train. What the hell?
Two And A Half Men was great, once. But it died along with Charlie Harper; after which it became a whole other train wreck. It is now a waste of talent, as is Anger Management; and The Big Bang Theory is the comeback. It's filled with the talent that those other two shows lack. It has comedy, wit and friendship. It has helped love blossom between grade A beauties and nerds.
I have tried to make characters of my own with silly quirks, dysfunctional habits and strict routines. However, I have about as much talent with writing as Sylvester Stallone does with acting. Which means I cannot write. Thankfully I have a better chance at improving at it than I do at realizing just how gosh-darned good Hudson's Hawk is. What a stupid, tedious, mind-numbing piece of shit that never should've been crapped out of any brownie-filled butt. I am never watching that movie again; and if I could take back the one night I did; I would, in a heartbeat.
Anyway, if you haven't watched The Big Bang Theory yet, I strongly suggest, and recommend, you do. For any disappointed former fan of Two And A Half Men, I am giving you your redemption on a silver platter. I am bringing it right to your bed. Take my Goddamn advice; because neither Two And A Half Men or Anger Management will get any better. Trust me, The Big Bang Theory has everything that has made those other two unmentionables so barren. It will give you half an hour of a glimpse of what talent is truly like when it's properly applied. And sometimes, they even run two back to back. Sometimes four. Sometimes a marathon! Now when did Two And A Half Men ever run all day?
But just wait. The Big Bang Theory is returning with all new episodes! What will happen, now that Raj can talk to women without alcohol? Surely he will find someone he deserves. What of Penny and Leonard? What of Howard and Bernadette? And, the biggest question of all, where is Shamy going? I'm glad Sheldon likes trains, because I am ready for a long, long ride...

Thursday, August 15, 2013

I Feel Old...

Shrek Forever After (or as I like to call it, Shrek Goes Fourth) is TWO FRIGGIN YEARS OLD. Two years ago I was eighteen and now the movie is two years old! I don't watch it enough, considering its age. Hopefully the time passes just as fast for the sequel to Finding Nemo!
Time is such a funny thing. Memoirs Of A Geisha was made almost nine years ago; yet in every picture you can find of those actors and actresses, they don't look a day older.
Oh, and PS., I found that song I've been wanting to find since Shrek 4 was new. So congratulations to myself! I wrote my will, and I found my mystery music. My life is now complete. I feel so good! Metaphorically. I did it all in time, too, considering how unhealthy I really am. I had a heart attack-like event, which put me in the hospital. Sometimes it still hurts really bad. Apparently, two conditions I have had since a kid, are both deadly. How I'm still alive is beyond me. I also broke my toe.
But, as I was saying, time is a funny thing. I mean, here I am boasting about my progress, which is really held together by those special yet insignificant little things. And one day, I'll die, and it'll be like I was never here at all. I sure do wonder how, and when. And call me crazy, I want to die next so I don't need to live a single moment with the people who made my life so...Well, I flounder here. It's not perfect, but it's definitely not bad. I have a home and a big family, most of which is either weird or just unlikable. But I have one sister, two brothers, a sister-in-law, a stepsister, and a stepbrother; three parents; four grandparents, and a bevy of uncles and aunts and cousins and generations of people I never even got to meet! Here they are working their hands to the bone to give me a good life and I'm sitting at my computer, wasting it away and too scared of death to embrace life and change the person I hate being.
Sorry, family.
But smile. I won't be here one day. As much as it scares me, that's gotta make you feel good. And don't lie to me. I'd rather you just admit it.
Damn, I love this song! Can you believe this is one of my good days?