Anyone who knows me personally knows I had a friend who turned to the dark side. She posted panty pictures, and apparently she was doing drugs in her early or (mid-) teens. I've also heard a rumor that she got knocked up; but I could have been given mis-information or my source could have seen her twin...We all have one, as I've stated before.
Anyway, when I saw the indecent picture, I called her mother right away. She had always been moody, and when I say that about somebody you know it's true, because I'm no Mary Poppins. But after that day, she wasn't my friend anymore. She ignored my phone calls, stood me up when we had plans, and apologized about standing me up only to stand me up again. And I know it sounds wrong, but lately I've been thinking I was the bad friend. I know I did the morally correct thing by telling her mother that her eldest was disrespecting herself...But I also did the worst thing a friend could have done: I bailed. She was clearly going through some tough stuff, and I called her a weird mess and checked out.
I can't help but wonder if she'd be any different if I'd been there for her. I said I was her friend, and then I basically said, F**k you. I guess I'm rethinking things.
Anyway, when I saw the indecent picture, I called her mother right away. She had always been moody, and when I say that about somebody you know it's true, because I'm no Mary Poppins. But after that day, she wasn't my friend anymore. She ignored my phone calls, stood me up when we had plans, and apologized about standing me up only to stand me up again. And I know it sounds wrong, but lately I've been thinking I was the bad friend. I know I did the morally correct thing by telling her mother that her eldest was disrespecting herself...But I also did the worst thing a friend could have done: I bailed. She was clearly going through some tough stuff, and I called her a weird mess and checked out.
I can't help but wonder if she'd be any different if I'd been there for her. I said I was her friend, and then I basically said, F**k you. I guess I'm rethinking things.
This kind of post really interests me...
ReplyDeleteI really don't think she'd be any different no matter what you'd done; if she was the one who ignored your phone calls and stood you up, it seems to me that there's nothing you could have done; she was determined to do what she was doing without her smarter friend butting in...
And, because I'm a jerk, I don't think it counts as "going through some tough stuff" if a kid chooses to try drugs; even if her friends were doing them, she should have had the smarts and guts to say 'Keep that crap to yourself'. "Tough stuff" is a parent dying, or parents getting divorced, or a parent dating someone you don't like, or watching someone you love suffer and knowing you can't help; not caving in to peer pressure is just a part of the teen experience.
D. did something similar to me, but for no real reason; you might remember that shopping trip she and I planned when we were little...we'd been planning since we were 5 or so to go shopping "without parents" and when we were 14, we finally did...and she brought a friend, some girl I didn't know, and it was really awkward. Miserably awkward on so many levels. And after all that, she didn't seem to get why I might be upset, and she kept trying to be "best friends" with me.
For most people, that'd be no big deal; for me, I don't like change, especially when it involves being more social than I'd planned, and we'd been planning that trip for 9 years, approx.
Sometimes the best thing you can do when someone shows their true colours is, turn your back and let them blind everyone else with them.
There's a reason someone from your past isn't part of your present works here, I think, and the reason isn't you; she decided to be someone you (and her mother) weren't comfortable with, and she decided to turn her back on a friend I agree she needed - you did the right thing, and it's her loss; when people can't see what they have and make bad choices, they tend to lose the good things they had.
:p
Actually, I think her parents did get divorced. Or maybe I'm thinking of one of my other childhood friends...I was more popular as a kid.
ReplyDeleteI don't remember the shopping trip, but I do remember you talking about it before. It would bring me down, too, if a surprise guest threw a monkey wrench into plans with a friend. But maybe D. only did it because she thought all three of you would become friends. I remember one time, I introduced my friend to my other friends, and they all started fighting, and asking WTF he was even doing there. It was horrible. I thought they'd get along great, and I wouldn't have to rush back and forth because we'd all be hanging out together. But it made all my friends miserable, and they were mad at me. I never asked it of them again. And while I felt bad, for being the cause of their fight, I was so disappointed when they couldn't get along.
Very useful article assignment help
ReplyDeleteThanks, I think.
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