I've decided it's pointless to get my hopes up...I don't know why I let myself stray from the path of constant disappointment, and allow myself to become vulnerable; but I did. Maybe for the brief-est of moments, I thought I deserved more. Maybe I just wanted more. Either way, I'm surrounded by monkeys; and the only tool they know how to use is me.
One more screw-up and I'm quitting. I am in no Goddamn mood for bullshit today. I gave them several chances, and I was each time only given a bitter disappointment. They're not teaching me, they're not training me, and they don't know their own work. They're causing me more stress than I need right now. My life is
sh-t-y enough; so f--k it. If they don't give enough of a damn to give a few minutes of their day to help me, I'm wasting my time.
They get until June 30th to make this right. If they cancel my appointment, or move it to another date without telling me (like today), then that's it. I'm done.
One more screw-up and I'm quitting. I am in no Goddamn mood for bullshit today. I gave them several chances, and I was each time only given a bitter disappointment. They're not teaching me, they're not training me, and they don't know their own work. They're causing me more stress than I need right now. My life is
sh-t-y enough; so f--k it. If they don't give enough of a damn to give a few minutes of their day to help me, I'm wasting my time.
They get until June 30th to make this right. If they cancel my appointment, or move it to another date without telling me (like today), then that's it. I'm done.
What happened?!
ReplyDeleteI think I know how you feel, even if the circumstances aren't the same; I've felt like that ('Screw this, I'm NOT in the mood for any crap!') so many times, I can't believe I haven't just exploded from anger :p
What happened is, during my last appointment I was asked to come in on the 29th of June; but on the 27th they called me and said I had to be there the next day, on the 28th. I said sure, wait for me, I'll be there; and because my paper said the 29th, Mom shrugged it off and didn't give me a ride. So they called me back, wondering why I didn't have the decency to call ahead of time and tell them my ride wanted to go off kayaking again, leaving me stuck here without bus fare. (There might have been enough, but if I take that, we don't have milk or bread.) Sooo, we re-scheduled; but I know for a fact my appointment is on the 29th; I remember because I thought, The second-last day before June!
DeleteNot to mention the day they sent Mom and me from one building to another, only to call us back to Point A, where the guy I was supposed to meet never showed up.
I notice you hardly ever swear...Does it bother you when I do?
*Second-last day OF June, sorry.
DeleteNo worries, I hadn't even caught the typo :p
ReplyDeleteNo, the swearing doesn't bother me - and I do it on occasion, if I'm very upset, but I don't mind when other people do it as long as they're not the type to insist I 'try' it because it's 'grown-up' (I can't believe how immature adults really are, now that I am one) :)
I'm sorry to hear about the runaround...that really sucks! I hate it when others can't get their poop in a pile and then blame you for getting your shoes dirty! :p
I'm not that type. To each her own.
DeleteOh, I know; I wasn't talking about you :)
DeleteI was talking about specific people who keep offering me alcoholic drinks, suggesting I try coffee, or (more jokingly) offering me a cigarette; people who know me and care how I feel know better, and those who think I ought to look more 'adult' don't seem to understand that peer-pressuring someone into acting like them is the kind of crappy behaviour that leads to bullying in schools - basically, childish behaviour, ironically. :)
Oh, well...
I strongly dislike when they do that. I don't want alcohol, cigarettes, coffee or drugs; and refusing to follow an example just because somebody else does it is really the most mature thing an adult could do. I tend to just offer people food or water, and if they're comfy I'll even bring it to them. I guess I just like to use the power of com-munication for good.
ReplyDelete