Um...Okay, so I'm running on zero minutes of sleep, so maybe I'm just slow to catch on. Maybe they did this on purpose. But the characters on Facebook's Flirt City is weirdly accurate to the characters on Big Bang Theory...
Moving on, in nine months I'm going to get a rather large surgery. And I cannot wait. I am so fucking ready. I'm going to get all my teeth pulled to have dentures put in. By then my hair should be a little longer. I'm thinking of dying it blond and buying lipstick, because I'm in dire need of a confidence boost. I have four weight lifts at my disposal and an exercise bike in my possession, so I'm hoping to improve my fitness, too. Who knows? In three years I could be a confident woman. Wouldn't that be swell.
Oh, God, even my fingers are tired. I'd go to bed, but...nah. No point. I ignored my responsibility of taking my sleeping pill last night, simply because even though it helps, it also makes me sick to my stomach and I just needed a break from that. But even when I take it, my life goes downhill in one day. I sleep until five, get out of bed with no other reason other than I want to wash my hair before taking the pill again, then I screw around with writing or Simming or whatever, take five minutes to eat Instant Potatoes, and go to bed...sometimes at six, if I'm lucky. And then the cycle just continues. It seems all I do lately is sleep. And it's never enough. I wake up, fall asleep, wake up, fall asleep, have one horrible night where the pill doesn't do shit, sleep until six or seven PM, wake up, fall asleep, wake up, fall asleep. All the while trying not to vomit and pass out in it; meanwhile I just want to be normal.
It seems luck exists for everyone on the planet, except for me. My brother can fall asleep every night, even if he takes naps. He feels refreshed. He can eat and feel full; he doesn't menstruate; and by the way, the game he plays is still online. My mother has a boyfriend who spoils her silly, and by some miracle, she can tolerate his laugh and the attitude problem he has which makes me look like Mary Poppins. Me, on the other hand. Well. My hair is flat and dead and way too short, my eyes are dead, my lips are cracked, my skin goes green when I lay down, my toes are gray, I lose hearing in one ear, my eyes burn, I'm always tired and hungry, and my luck is just terrible. Oh, and I'm stupid, too. I'm short, my fingers are short, my memory is short, my ears are little, my head is little, my ass is flat, my boobs sag, and I have the voice of a nervous, sputtering boy. But I smile through it because life is short. Not short enough, but once again that's just me.
I need chocolate. Or a cigarette. Or...to hibernate for ninety years. Or...Well, I could go on and on. But I'd rather just stop right now. Or jump nine months ahead. Where the fuck is a time traveling machine when you need one?
Clearly I need to go outside to find some sunshine. No, wait. It's cloudy out there, too. Perfect. Ooh, maybe I'll do a Toy Story marathon. Hell, I could make the entire day an animation movie marathon. Wish I had snacks. Well, I do, but I can't take them in here. You know, they know I do it. Why do I need to hide it? I DO IT. I DO IT ALL THE TIME. YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I DO? LOTS OF STUFF. You don't know me at all. I've told you who I am, but you don't care. And I don't care! I watch Sagwa The Chinese Siamese Cat, and Tinker Bell, and Fly Tales, and Bugs Bunny, and Monsters Inc., which I like BETTER than Shrek, and I watch that, too. I have it memorized; but no, it's not my favorite anymore. Oh, and you know Ice Age, the one with the talking animals? I've got a crush on Diego. I also love Sheldon Cooper. And Amy. You know Friends? I love Chandler. And Phoebe. And I watch that all the time, too. I don't care! If I can't be normal, or pretty, or smart; I'm going to not care what people think anymore. I'm tired of living up to their standards, impressing people I just can't impress. I have crushes - some men, some women. I write books - and I swear like a trucker.
It feels good to tell the truth. Who knew? You know, I think I'm going to watch another Friends episode and then, maybe, try to sleep. Maybe I'll even finally take last night's pill. I'm on way too damn many pills, and they all make me feel horrible. I take two pills in the morning, then three separate vitamin thingies, then my night pill; and sometimes I have to take Tylenol or Midol, too. It's ridiculous. I feel much older than 23. I'll be damned if all this pill-crushing, taking it with milk and sugar, doesn't suddenly create a violent chain reaction inside me and turn my piss into paste.
Ooh, piss! That reminds me! I also love Daryl Dixon and Michonne. Maybe I'll watch more Walking Dead. Or Big Bang! I still can't believe they made Maggie pregnant. Honestly, I think they did that just so they could kill off a pregnant lady. Lori was pregnant, but her baby lived, remember? Maybe they just want to say, "Aha! We've done it now! It really says something about our fans if they stick with it."
You know, I had a song stuck in my head for a week. Maybe two nights ago, I realized - or I think I realized - it was at the end of Toy Story 3, when Andy gives his toys to Bonnie. I think I'll go start that marathon, so I can eventually get to the third. I can't watch a movie without watching them all in order! It's wrong. Except in the case of Shrek. I skip the third each time. DreamWorks, hear me now. I'm your biggest fan, and that one SUCKS ASS! You should feel sorry for yourselves. I would, but you saved your name with the other three.
Anyway, I feel like I'm going all over the place with this. I guess I'll go and watch some movies! Again. Oh my God, it's 2016! Finding Dory - Toy Story 4 - eek! Sunshine, sunshine, sunshine!
Moving on, in nine months I'm going to get a rather large surgery. And I cannot wait. I am so fucking ready. I'm going to get all my teeth pulled to have dentures put in. By then my hair should be a little longer. I'm thinking of dying it blond and buying lipstick, because I'm in dire need of a confidence boost. I have four weight lifts at my disposal and an exercise bike in my possession, so I'm hoping to improve my fitness, too. Who knows? In three years I could be a confident woman. Wouldn't that be swell.
Oh, God, even my fingers are tired. I'd go to bed, but...nah. No point. I ignored my responsibility of taking my sleeping pill last night, simply because even though it helps, it also makes me sick to my stomach and I just needed a break from that. But even when I take it, my life goes downhill in one day. I sleep until five, get out of bed with no other reason other than I want to wash my hair before taking the pill again, then I screw around with writing or Simming or whatever, take five minutes to eat Instant Potatoes, and go to bed...sometimes at six, if I'm lucky. And then the cycle just continues. It seems all I do lately is sleep. And it's never enough. I wake up, fall asleep, wake up, fall asleep, have one horrible night where the pill doesn't do shit, sleep until six or seven PM, wake up, fall asleep, wake up, fall asleep. All the while trying not to vomit and pass out in it; meanwhile I just want to be normal.
It seems luck exists for everyone on the planet, except for me. My brother can fall asleep every night, even if he takes naps. He feels refreshed. He can eat and feel full; he doesn't menstruate; and by the way, the game he plays is still online. My mother has a boyfriend who spoils her silly, and by some miracle, she can tolerate his laugh and the attitude problem he has which makes me look like Mary Poppins. Me, on the other hand. Well. My hair is flat and dead and way too short, my eyes are dead, my lips are cracked, my skin goes green when I lay down, my toes are gray, I lose hearing in one ear, my eyes burn, I'm always tired and hungry, and my luck is just terrible. Oh, and I'm stupid, too. I'm short, my fingers are short, my memory is short, my ears are little, my head is little, my ass is flat, my boobs sag, and I have the voice of a nervous, sputtering boy. But I smile through it because life is short. Not short enough, but once again that's just me.
I need chocolate. Or a cigarette. Or...to hibernate for ninety years. Or...Well, I could go on and on. But I'd rather just stop right now. Or jump nine months ahead. Where the fuck is a time traveling machine when you need one?
Clearly I need to go outside to find some sunshine. No, wait. It's cloudy out there, too. Perfect. Ooh, maybe I'll do a Toy Story marathon. Hell, I could make the entire day an animation movie marathon. Wish I had snacks. Well, I do, but I can't take them in here. You know, they know I do it. Why do I need to hide it? I DO IT. I DO IT ALL THE TIME. YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I DO? LOTS OF STUFF. You don't know me at all. I've told you who I am, but you don't care. And I don't care! I watch Sagwa The Chinese Siamese Cat, and Tinker Bell, and Fly Tales, and Bugs Bunny, and Monsters Inc., which I like BETTER than Shrek, and I watch that, too. I have it memorized; but no, it's not my favorite anymore. Oh, and you know Ice Age, the one with the talking animals? I've got a crush on Diego. I also love Sheldon Cooper. And Amy. You know Friends? I love Chandler. And Phoebe. And I watch that all the time, too. I don't care! If I can't be normal, or pretty, or smart; I'm going to not care what people think anymore. I'm tired of living up to their standards, impressing people I just can't impress. I have crushes - some men, some women. I write books - and I swear like a trucker.
It feels good to tell the truth. Who knew? You know, I think I'm going to watch another Friends episode and then, maybe, try to sleep. Maybe I'll even finally take last night's pill. I'm on way too damn many pills, and they all make me feel horrible. I take two pills in the morning, then three separate vitamin thingies, then my night pill; and sometimes I have to take Tylenol or Midol, too. It's ridiculous. I feel much older than 23. I'll be damned if all this pill-crushing, taking it with milk and sugar, doesn't suddenly create a violent chain reaction inside me and turn my piss into paste.
Ooh, piss! That reminds me! I also love Daryl Dixon and Michonne. Maybe I'll watch more Walking Dead. Or Big Bang! I still can't believe they made Maggie pregnant. Honestly, I think they did that just so they could kill off a pregnant lady. Lori was pregnant, but her baby lived, remember? Maybe they just want to say, "Aha! We've done it now! It really says something about our fans if they stick with it."
You know, I had a song stuck in my head for a week. Maybe two nights ago, I realized - or I think I realized - it was at the end of Toy Story 3, when Andy gives his toys to Bonnie. I think I'll go start that marathon, so I can eventually get to the third. I can't watch a movie without watching them all in order! It's wrong. Except in the case of Shrek. I skip the third each time. DreamWorks, hear me now. I'm your biggest fan, and that one SUCKS ASS! You should feel sorry for yourselves. I would, but you saved your name with the other three.
Anyway, I feel like I'm going all over the place with this. I guess I'll go and watch some movies! Again. Oh my God, it's 2016! Finding Dory - Toy Story 4 - eek! Sunshine, sunshine, sunshine!
Is ‘Flirt City’ that game you and I were going to play together, but I couldn’t get it working?
ReplyDelete“Moving on, in nine months I’m going to get a rather large surgery.” — Is there an actual date yet? I hope it isn’t postponed again; I hate the thought of you in pain . . .
“I have four weight lifts at my disposal and an exercise bike in my possession, so I’m hoping to improve my fitness, too. Who knows? In three years I could be a confident woman. Wouldn’t that be swell.” — Exercise may also help you sleep; I started exercising in December (because if I start in January I feel as though I’m so out-of-shape that even as a New Year’s resolution it’s pointless) and noticed that I slept better, dreamed more, and even had an easier time concentrating. I haven’t missed a day yet this year (all 22 days of it); I’ve exercised every day . . . I feel stronger, but I also feel more confident already. I bet it’ll work for you, too :)
“My mother has a boyfriend who spoils her silly, and by some miracle, she can tolerate his laugh and the attitude problem he has which makes me look like Mary Poppins.” — Attitude problem? That’s new information . . . unfortunately, I don’t know who Mary Poppins is, so, is your looking like her good or bad?
You’re not stupid! You’re one of the smartest people I know, and one of the most interesting! Your Paint art is always interesting and detailed, and when you want something written, I can be certain it’s perfect! I’m quite jealous of that . . .
“You don’t know me at all. I’ve told you who I am, but you don’t care.” — Actually, I do — maybe I’m not around much (it upsets me quite a lot that I can’t just see you whenever I want) and I don’t know you as well as I wish I did, but whether I know you well or not, I’d like to, and I definitely care who you are. I check your blog every day, hoping you’ll have posted something new, and that you’re okay; I never know what to say on the phone, but I love hearing about life there . . . I sure miss it.
“ . . . and Monsters Inc., which I like BETTER than Shrek, and I watch that, too. I have it memorized; but no, it’s not my favorite anymore.” — That is new information! I don’t even have a favourite movie anymore; one of my favourite actors died recently, and I’ve been feeling incredibly lost (I guess I kinda got attached to him after Dad died) and upset lately. This actor’s face, voice, and even the fanart and fanvideos of him, were hugely comforting to me for a long time, and now I can’t really stand to participate in any of it, even just as an observer, so I haven’t slept or even relaxed well in a while . . . it feels like just another big loss, and it’s debilitating. I don’t feel like doing much of anything, honestly, and I can’t even really care.
I’ll be honest with you; after Dad died, I was totally lost. No one was here for me, and I felt like I couldn’t come to you guys, either. I can’t remember what I did in the months/years after he died; I just can’t — whatever I did during that time is just gone, I don’t remember it. I found some drawings I did after he died, and they’re disturbing. Creepy, mostly because they make no sense; they look like something a kid did. I can’t believe I managed to get through school with my head so fogged up. I’m going to burn them as soon as I have the chance. I’m quite sure I was depressed, because I could stand in the middle of a room for who knows how long, doing nothing (well, aside from crying) and not wanting to do anything. I knew I could sit down or lie down, but I didn’t even do that. Just stood there for a long time. I lost a lot of weight, needed pills to help me sleep, and developed a sort of anger problem; I was mad at everyone and didn’t really care what happened to me, or anyone else. I wanted to hurt myself, and others, especially others. And I couldn’t talk about any of it. I think you’re the first person I’ve been able to tell this stuff to (and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell Mom, because I already know she won’t keep quiet if she thinks someone should know my stuff).
DeleteI guess the reason I told you all that is because you were being honest, too, and I’m glad. “I have crushes - some men, some women.” I’m glad to see you finally wrote it down; it probably feels more certain when you do . . . :) I also watch cartoons (in fact, I love them; in the past few years I’ve become re-obsessed with everything from Dragon Tales to Clifford the Big Red Dog and even The Berenstain Bears) and see no issue with having a crush on a fictional/animated character; lots of people do.
“I’ll be damned if all this pill-crushing, taking it with milk and sugar, doesn’t suddenly create a violent chain reaction inside me and turn my piss into paste.” — LOL, hilarious. If that happens, go see a doctor! :p
Toy Story 4! I didn’t know there was going to be a fourth one! Thank you! :D
Message me anytime, sis, especially through email; it’s easier than talking on the phone for me (for you, too?) and if there’s ever anything I can do to help you feel better, just tell me :)
I meant to add that I also have crush(es) on fictional/animated characters, but got carried away :p
DeleteYou can always come to me! I sometimes may not be able to relate; but I can hear, in this case read, you out. I remember feeling totally flustered when the cancer took him. I thought about what to say to you when I called, and then I just rambled on in that message. I was so humiliated afterward, but I was just so messed up. I knew that if I were that sad when a stepparent passed, I'd be a rocking ball of nerves and tears when someone related to me, someone close to me, passed; and I just wanted to go first, so I'd never have to know that. But now, it's like I'd go last, so I could protect them whenever I could and then be there when they needed me at the end...I know it's totally depressing, but I actually think about this all the time.
DeleteFinally wrote it down...I find that sentence a little odd. I knew I was questioning it, but I didn't think others were. Mom talks about it, but only when I talk about it; and she sort of gets vulgar sometimes, saying the C-word and the P-word. So I just sit here and try to figure myself out, but all I can conclude is that I could be a guy's friend, but that's it. I think of him touching me or flirting with me and my stomach just turns. And then I think about a girl touching me or flirting with me, and nothing happens. Nothing bad, and nothing good. So maybe I'm just asexual - I've got nothing for anyone. And I'm okay with that. I'm more than happy to just crush on from a distance.
Turn my piss into paste...That still makes me giggle. I was hoping you'd find it funny! :D Yes, yes, TS4! So looking forward to that! Except the plot they have in mind is already completed in my book, so I'm dreading that part.
First, I replaced Shrek with Shrek 4. That was my favorite movie from 2010 to 2013-14-ish. Then I accidentally found Tinker Bell, and fell in love with it, and loved it well and truly for about a year, maybe a year and a half. Then I found Monsters Inc. and I just want to sink my hands into Sulley's fur and pick Mike up and squeeze him. I just love it; they're so cute! And the first time I saw Monsters Inc., the scene where Sulley jumps at the window and yells, oh my God, I nearly peed. Now, of course, I expect it. And of course the scene in the first movie, with the scream - aak! I jumped so high. :D Who was the actor?! I know when James Avery died, I was torn up. I'd had him picked out for a role or two, if my books ever became movies. He seemed like a good guy. And John Pinette. Knowing he died was a huge shocker, and Lorne and I were both upset, like a few billion other people, I'm sure.
Aw, now I want to post every day...I'm not sure you could find it all interesting. Sometimes I bore myself.
Attitude problem...Yeah, he just gets very angry, and a lot of the time it's about things that don't concern him. He's also very vocal about his opinions. I get that I have my opinions, and Lorne his, and Mom hers - I get that every human has their opinion and is entitled to each of them. But he always voices his. All the time. Like when he wanted Lorne's recliner turned a certain way, or when he was proud to learn that I use oven mitts for taking the pan off the element. Sometimes it's just none of his business, and he thinks it is. And he gets mad about weird shit, like a potato not seeding, or somebody else being drunk when he drinks, too...I don't know. Maybe I just annoy easily.
Okay, have to break this into two comments so the damn thing will fit...
Mary Poppins is a show about a magic nanny and from what I can tell, she never, ever gets mad. Ever. At all. And that kind of pisses me off. I could be wrong, because I'm just guessing, but there are many sarcastic remarks on TV about her; i.e. a grouchy person being nicknamed Mary Poppins.
DeleteI don't need to dream anymore. I'm tempted to just stop sleeping, but I know I won't get far. As it is my body is screaming for rest; but the dreams are just too much. But already, I have noticed I have more energy. I exercised for a minute more than I should have on the bike, and then in bed I just wanted to do sit-ups and push-ups. I wanted to walk, to run, to ride; I did not want to be still.
No, Flirt City is, from what I can tell, a fashion/dress-up kind of thing. The game we tried but failed to play together was Friendbase.
My problem is not so much with anger - according to Mom, I either hide it well or lie about how I'm feeling. I choose to believe I hide it well. But my problem is, as you know, with anxiety. And I've actually been so uncomfortable with the prospect of taking more pills that I've actually been just dropping them down the drain. (They were free; but don't tell anyone. Now we both have a secret to keep.) I mean, they're capsules. I can't crush them, and I'm not supposed to open them, but everyone said it's okay. So I tried that and it still wouldn't go down. It was lodged in my throat for an hour; I thought I would die. I was clearing my throat, coughing, drinking, eating pudding, and nothing was working. So I just ate the pudding or the yogurt, and when anyone asked if I took the pill, I said yes. I know it makes me sound bad, but it's taking all my courage just to get out of bed. Being on all these medicines, before the capsules, was already making me sick; and I didn't want more on top of it. I was moody, and it makes my pee smell really weird. And, well, Mom used to hide her medicine under her bed and lie to her parents, too. I want to be honest with her, I want to feel like she would understand; but she wouldn't.
But...wow, that was the hardest thing I've ever written. And I'm still stuck on page one, paragraph one, of book one.
But here's a thought, if that whole pill truth didn't make you like me less. It could be fun, if we make an online poem together - you write a line, then I write a line. And if it turns out okay, they're actually putting the winners into the newspaper down at the walk-in.
Ugh, sorry about this one. They really should allow each member the option to edit their comments. But, here goes. In my first comment, I wrote Sulley jumps at the window and yells. I said that was Monsters Inc., but it was actually Monsters University. My bad. I don't know if you watch them. Hell, I never thought I would; I used to think Disney was stupid, and now most of my favorite movies are from that company. But I guess part of my mix-up is because I actually watch the sequel first, because the sequel is about the past.
DeleteI still have that message; I listen to it when (as it usual) I can’t believe it happened. Nothing to be embarrassed about; I don’t think I could have left a message like that.
DeleteSorry; I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable . . . I wasn’t questioning it, I was actually pretty sure, but it always seemed to me that you didn’t want to say for sure one way or the other, in case it made things too ‘real’. Mom really says those words?! Wow.
I’m the same way — sort of. I can think happily about loving a man, or touching/being touched by a woman, but I love Geoff and yet feel no need to touch or be touched, if that makes sense. In fact, most touch also turns my stomach, so we have that in common . . . it’s different when you love someone, though; like, Mom, Lorne, and you touching me is fine, and Geoff too, but Jason and Bobbi, while I trust them with my life, I don’t like touching me. I like to think I’m really open-minded that way (why should it matter what’s between a person’s legs when what’s in the heart matters way more?) and yet, I feel more attracted to women and yet doubt I could actually love one. It’s kinda confusing, I guess :p
I had to break mine into two comments, too :p I don’t remember those scenes from the Monsters movie . . . and there’s really only one unless you count Monsters University, I think . . . :p
The actor was Alan Rickman, who I was sorta obsessed with, especially one of his characters. Now everything feels awkward and I feel lost; I was really leaning on him (not that he knew it) for comfort, and now even that’s gone . . . I hope to get it back somehow . . .
He sounds like a jerk, especially considering the fact that he didn’t want Dad at YOUR birthday party because he didn’t want him around Mom. I’ll never get over that.
I hate things getting stuck in my throat! I’d be dropping that shit down the drain, too! That’s why I haven’t eaten solid food in like, four years; just soup and gravy. LOL, of course I don’t like you less, nothing will make that happen! (Well, maybe if you strangle a puppy or something, but honestly that’d bother me no matter who did it.)
I’m stuck on my book stuff, too. Well, not stuck as much as avoiding it, because I literally don’t feel like doing anything these days. That worries me, but I don’t have the energy to try, either.
Is the poem supposed to be written by two people? (It sounds like lots of fun, but beware, I’m a huge dork and I suck especially bad at poetry) :p
Oh yeah, sorry, missed that comment about Monsters University; I've only seen it twice, so that scene totally doesn't come to mind.
ReplyDeleteBut as it turns out, I'm quite the Disney fan, too! :)
You're right about that pissy no-editing-your-own-comments nonsense; I meant to add that a sequel that tells the story before the first movie(s) is called a 'prequel' (weird). :p
DeleteI didn't want to say it because I didn't know. I still don't. I mean, when on dA, I favorite portraits and paintings of women, but the only portraits of men are of amazing drawings of my favorite actors. And some of the women featured in my Favorites have weird or little clothing and poses called sexy by anyone who cares about a woman's sexiness; whereas I only favorite it because I like the effort put into it, or I like the way the clothes were drawn, or the character's ensemble is similar to one I thought I made up. I'm very immature, emotionally; I'm not there yet and I don't care if I never am. I mean, I'm not good at styling hair, and I can barely afford to clothe and feed myself; so a daughter is out of the question. I don't know anything about guys, so a man and a son is out of the question. All that's left is going down to the pet store and window shopping.
DeleteI'm actually okay with Bobbi and Jason touching me. The first time she did, I was so amazed somebody would hug me that I didn't know what to do. But I've always been socially awkward that way. I remember the time she brought me that aquamarine stone bracelet; she wanted me to guess which hand, but I didn't know that and I bumped fists instead. I was so embarrassed when she told me she wanted me to pick a hand. :S
The birthday thing! That's what that other one was. Well, I hope he came anyway. He isn't part of my family; therefore, no opinion on who my guests are. (Not like I really have a voice, anyway. I do, I guess, but nothing I say, do or want seems to count.)
Yes, Mom says those words. But most of the time she's totally plastered. And loud.
I often feel lost, myself. Sometimes I take so long deciding what I want to do that I do nothing, and the whole day just falls away from me.
Next time one of us visits the other, we should definitely have a movie night. With chocolate or chips or something. You eat those things still, right?
I don't know why comments can't be edited. They should be! And what the hell is this word limit all of a sudden? Have I just been off in my own world, or is that new?
Last little bit here; to answer your question. No, they don't have to be written by two people; but I just thought it would be neat, to read an entry written by sisters. We could publish it under our usernames, to gain dA publicity and keep our actual identities secret. Or we could use our real names and see if anyone we know contacts us...I don't know. Just my thoughts...I saw a winning entry when I was in there a few days ago, and the very last verse was one I made up a few years back. I was a little disappointed, but it was also nice to know I wasn't the only one writing that kind of verse.
Delete“The birthday thing! That’s what that other one was. Well, I hope he came anyway. He isn’t part of my family; therefore, no opinion on who my guests are. (Not like I really have a voice, anyway. I do, I guess, but nothing I say, do or want seems to count.” — Did you mean you hoped Dad came anyway, or Mom’s boyfriend? And did you mean Dad wasn’t part of the family?
DeleteThat ‘nothing I say, do, or want’ bit is me, too; that’s why I haven’t come back for a visit in ages...I miss you, but I don’t want to deal with the mom-drama. I don’t feel like my feelings matter to her, and I’ve had enough of that in my life that I’m not about to put myself back in that situation for the fun of it.
“Next time one of us visits the other, we should definitely have a movie night. With chocolate or chips or something. You eat those things still, right?” — I don’t eat chips anymore, but I do eat chocolate sometimes, if it can be completely melted. That also gets stuck in my throat, but at least it melts, which meat and vegetables unfortnately don’t do. Oh, and I also enjoy yogurt with movies, or ice cream, so I can still snack :)
I meant, I hope Joe came to the party; and that Nick didn't have a say. Far as I'm concerned, he still doesn't and never will. Maybe I'm being a bitch, but I've already had two fathers, so if he marries Mom one day, he's her family, and not mine.
DeleteSometimes I really don't like it here. I guess I could leave; I get 500 for food and 400 for rent. It'd be a struggle, but I'm used to that. What's keeping me here is that I don't know my way around town, and I sometimes don't know my way around Superstore. Granted, they do change its look now and then, move some things around; but I should be used to it by now. I go there too often to be so lost. And I don't like going in the taxis - car sickness, for one. Fear, for another. And buses and walking while doing groceries is a pain in the ass. And in the arms.
And anyway, this house is the cheapest one we could find. It probably still is. So I deal with what I think, and try to be thankful, but it's so easy to take things for granted. I'm working on it.
Ice cream sounds good! I think I'll pick some up tomorrow. My favorite is chocolate ice cream with chocolate sauce; and I have a feeling that, once I have fake teeth and no more tooth problems, ever again; I'll probably be eating a lot more junk food. And what a bad name! It's like the best food out there... ;D
Agreed; I wish I had some! I'm eating peanut butter (off a spoon) for breakfast, 'cause we still have days to go until payday and if I eat anything else, I won't have food for tomorrow or the day after. :p
DeleteI feel the same way about Mom's boyfriend and all that mess :P
You're lucky you, at least, have money coming in; I don't...yet...I'll have to get a job, but nobody in Elkford is looking for help...
Peanut butter would be nice. We have it, but I prefer the smooth. Ironic; I like my Sunny D the same way.
DeleteI still didn't buy ice cream; I settled for corn dogs instead. I was too cold to find ice cream enjoyable at the moment, and I think it worked out for the best. Normally Lorne has one or two bowls of ice cream and I go through the rest; but this way he and I both get two corn dogs five times, and it's healthier...Then again, I just polished off a pack of chocolate wafers, so what do I know about healthy. I'm feeling sort of bad about that; I think I'll try to go for three minutes today on the bike. I love that thing, but we have it right in front of the couch. It looks so out of place...
Mom really wants Nick to be accepted by all of us. I'll sit through dinner, I'll smile and answer questions, but I often just don't enjoy it. I prefer to eat alone, maybe watch a movie while I'm doing it; but I don't even like eating around family. I'd say the company is nice, but it's either silent or she's talking about Nick and he's talking about all his dead friends, and I want it to be silent...
That sounds difficult. I remember applying for disability; I was approved just because I get lost easily. Does Elkford have a social security/welfare/whatever office?
I found a new kind called 'creamy' and it's the best!
DeleteMmm, corn dogs...it's been ages since I had those...Lorne eats ice cream? Not sure I've ever seen that...
I don't like eating alone, but I don't like being watched, either...and if people are yapping about stuff I don't want to hear, I'd definitely rather be alone :p
Mom made me apply in 2010, and I was rejected - too healthy! I didn't even want to apply, but Mom said she could use the extra money, and because I still lived with her, I kinda felt like I owed her. I'm kinda glad I didn't get it, but sometimes I think it would make things easier...especially when no one's hiring 'cause the economy's crap. :p
No, Elkford doesn't have any of those things, or much of anything else - my job options are quite limited...
It definitely does make things easier. Without it, we would have been homeless years ago. It's a little tough, especially with car insurance on the side; but I've been approved to collect some extra funds to help with that, so we can buy more food.
DeleteIt is a little embarrassing to be on welfare, but I think it's also necessary, for a lifestyle like ours. I really don't want to be homeless. Jason was, once; and I don't think he'd want that for us.
I don't want that for you, either!
DeleteI've never been embarrassed that Mom and Dad were on Welfare; it was just the way things were . . . IIRC we were on foodstamps, too . . . or we used to get food from the food bank . . . long time ago, can barely remember :p
Well, it's certainly embarrassing to have the cashier and the customers look at you with pity eyes and murmur I feel so bad for that lady because you can't afford a one-dollar item. Twice this week I've had to deduct groceries that, in total, cost less than ten dollars. So maybe being on welfare isn't embarrassing, but that certainly is. :(
DeleteWell, that's true; that's only happened to me once, and you were with me...I think it was when we lived in Chilliwack in 2009 and we were buying those chocolate mint things we used to get a lot, and it was my first time buying in bulk and using the hanging scales to weigh things...obviously I messed up the math and the cashier ended up dumping a lot of the chocolate into another bag and giving us what we could afford...
DeleteYeah, it sucks...Whenever that happens I just ask to deduct one and see if I can afford it then, because normally it's the tax that bumps up the cost.
DeleteMom and I went to welfare again this week and asked for a clothing donation. It was, of course, denied. I'm starting to think they're only employed to say no to people. Mom even turned me around and showed them this giant rip in my jacket sleeve. :(
THAT would be embarrassing! (Lucky it wasn't a hole in the pants...)
DeleteWhat happened to the black jacket Dad got you? (I still have mine, barely ever worn it, it's too nice.) :p
I'm not sure which one you mean; I have two. But I still have my blue sweater. You got a pink one, I think. I also still have the blue bunny Kathleen got for me.
DeleteI still have my bunny, too :p
DeleteI meant a black jacket, kinda fancy, that Dad bought us sometime after he and Mom split...
Heh, I wrote "splot" :p
Hmm. Fancy? I have one that Mom bought for me at Wal-Mart. It covers my knees and has a big hood. It weighs like three pounds; it's excellent for winter wear. I also have a much smaller, lighter jacket. It's got a hood, too, but it can be tucked inside. It's got two pockets that snap shut, and four pockets that zip shut.
DeleteDoes that last one sound familiar?
I don't know, that was 5 or 6 years ago now...oh well :p
DeleteAw. Well, do you feel like describing your jacket? Maybe that'll ring a bell.
DeleteWhen I can dig it out of the spare room, I'll get a picture of it; I think yours was similar, but somehow different, too...
DeleteOur spare room, or the one at your place?
DeleteIt feels so weird, still; referring to a different house as your place...
For me, too! But I did mean the one here... :p
DeleteAh. I was sort of hoping you meant the one here, so you'd have to come back. ^_^
DeleteOh, but I'm glad you don't have to go without your jacket.
Deletelol, I'll be back, and you can be sure it'll be for better reasons than jackets! :p
DeleteI feel lost here tonight, no matter what I start doing, I don't seem to care for it and just end up staring into space. I think I'd rather be there with you guys... :)
We would all love that. Humans should have evolved into Winged Sapiens. Then we could just fly wherever we wanted to go, instead of being limited by money, gas, lakes, construction, weather, time, work, and whatever else stands in our way.
DeleteIt seems to be human nature to complain or find excuses, though; even with wings, we'd find something to complain about, or some reason not to do something - the weather would be a bigger issue, I think, and so would air pollution! :)
DeleteTrue. Sometimes I wish I had an astronaut suit, so I could go outside in the spring and not suffer from allergies. And I'd rock at a costume party. ;D
DeleteBut I'd look weird, walking down the street...lol
I'd risk looking strange if a suit like that would prevent me from catching germs! :)
DeleteMe too! But the way my luck goes, I'd probably be allergic to the suit.
Delete