Saturday, February 13, 2016

Heavy

      I was playing Friendbase last night, and this guy came up to me asking if I knew a good place for him to commit suicide. He said he hated his life...I didn't tell him I'd had my will written by the time I was ten. I didn't tell him that I truly believe that if one feels no hope, no love, no inspiration to keep going; then it's okay to let go.
      He asked for words of inspiration, and after a few simple words he said he felt happier and thanked me for helping him start living again. I don't know if he meant it; I mean...it was too easy to inspire him. If I truly had talked him out of suicide, then I only wish I had succeeded with my friends, too, some years ago. But I don't think I did.
      Well, a few hours ago...the same guy told me he loved me, and would come to Canada and find me. I get that a lot, but this time it feels different. It feels like he means it, and it's scary. I told him I didn't love him, but it made no difference!
      Why the fuck do I attract these guys? This is the thousandth time. I'm sick of it. I don't want to attract anyone, man or woman. Ever. I'm not straight, I'm not gay. I'm just nothing. I'm a kid inside. He's looking for a woman, and he's looking in the wrong place.

10 comments:

  1. I think some of those people just like to scare you...but to be safe, can you report him?

    What does he know about you?

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    Replies
    1. He knows my first and last name, my age, and that I live in Canada. (People on Friendbase are all the same, asking all the same questions all the time. I didn't want to set him off on another suicidal rampage or whatever by not answering questions or reporting him...)

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    2. Yikes, that's a lot of info...

      But it's not your job to be there for everyone, especially when people are strangers and potentially dangerous...you don't know that he's safe, and if he's so unstable that one person ignoring him could set him off, he's a ticking bomb anyway and you're better off staying away...

      Just my thoughts; I'd report him (you never know, you could be doing him - and others - a lot of good, not to mention yourself) or at the very least, ignore him.

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    3. I get closer to doing that each time we talk; less because he's unstable and more because he's just annoying.

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    4. lol, some people just are...especially those who keep threatening suicide...yea, it's serious, and obviously there are problems in their lives they can't deal with, but it seems to me that the people who talk a lot about ending their lives are just looking for attention. I've felt suicidal, but I had no desire to tell anyone about it, because I knew they'd do what they could to make sure I never even had the chance. :p

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    5. I used to be suicidal, but I'm not anymore; and the reason I'm not is because I don't think there is any problem bigger than losing a loved one. Basically it's a permanent solution to what is most likely a temporary problem; and so many of those people must be capable of fixing the problem themselves, but are just too afraid to try. I know what that's like, too. Not good to live in fear. It's best to just grab your problem and kick it in the nads.

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    6. Yeah, losing a loved one...I was fine until it happened to me, now I'm a wreck...it was always my biggest fear :(

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    7. Mine too. I think there are certain circumstances when opting out is okay; and blubbering over a girl who isn't even dead is not one of them.

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    8. Opting out of what? Which girl isn't dead? Sorry, I'm a bit lost...

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    9. The girl he loved. (Before me, apparently.) I just think bitching and moaning about losing a love he never had is just not his purpose in life.
      Sorry, I should have clarified...

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