Welcome To My World. Not Welcome To My World. Welcome. Not Welcome.

Oh, Sheldon, I feel your pain.
I was playing NFSW, and my friends were on but for once they didn't invite me. I switch drivers and they invite me! They ask who I am, I tell them the other name I go by - and it goes dead quiet. I think they got tired of me, and wanted a new person.
I'm jealous. I wish I had the option to escape myself.

Lots of new stuff have happened since I last wrote. I got a cop car in that game, and a truck. Just finished a race against 7 opponents who ALL had the SAME CAR. Same color, too. Won a blue neon. Saw my mother cry. I was even asked to dance by another woman! Finished a book today. So, yes, life has been less predictable. I remember I used to be able to say the words my stepfather said, AS HE SAID THEM. No life should ever be that boring.

Oh, man. What I wouldn't give for my own Sheldon. Same brains, same quirks, same everything. I'm just crazy about him. I know he's a fake character, portrayed by an actor, but Amy is one lucky lady. Not only does she have the significant other of my dreams, but in real life the woman who portrays Amy - Mayim Bialik, such a cool name; it's pronounced MY-IM BE-ALL-ICK, I love that - she's an actress, a mother, a neurobiologist...So now we know where all the talent on this planet is.

Anyway, 2014 began today. Two more excruciatingly long years of waiting for Finding Dory - just put it in the theaters already, PLEASE! Oh, and PS. I'm twenty-one now (birthday sucked, as have all my last four or five - Christmas was blagh too, but in between those two times my sister came and life was wonderful). So, yes, twenty-one years old, and can I just ask you IS THERE NO ONE OUT THERE WHO UPLOADS DIFFERENT SAGWA EPISODES?! I love that show, that's what my finished book is all about but I can't upload it because FFN IS STILL GLITCHING AND NO ONE CAN OR WILL HELP ME. I began that book as a TIME KILLER while I thought of other ideas for my OTHER BOOKS, but those ones are STILL at a dead end AND MY TIME KILLER IS FINISHED. What is one to do? Can anyone help me? Because getting help before I die would be great.

Okay. I'm off. I'm going to watch more Sagwa I guess, even though I watched 'em all recently, and about a million times. YouTube sucks! C'mon, people - we want Jade Rabbit, and Alley Night Opera, and IN FRIGGIN ENGLISH. Or at least sell every episode ever made on ONE DVD. Do you not know a true fan when you see one? I mean c'mon, I'm twenty-one people!

Dying To Live

First off, I just want to say, while I'm still able, that when I die, I already wrote my will. And you, my sister, are getting my most treasured possession. Thank you for being there for me, even when I didn't deserve you. You've been my teacher as well as my friend; and without you I wouldn't know what to do. I would go crazy. Did you know I tried to kill myself? But then I thought of you, and I changed my mind. Even miles and miles away, you're here for me. You are amazing!

Now I must explain to you why I sound so suicidal right now. I'm not, by the way. I'm just miserable. I miss you so much, and on top of that I have some...complications...that could be a hazard to my health. One of them is undetermined, but very scary. I'll start off small and work my way up. First, there is the epilepsy, which as we all know, is an unusual electric discharge that can cause you to lose balance, hearing, sensation to your face or consciousness. The electric discharge part brought mention that humans are like batteries. It sounds scary, right? But don't worry; this caused a very humorous night of discussion that I was leaking.
Next up we have the asthma. You know more than anyone what that's like, and on this note I want to apologize with all my heart that when you had your attack, I panicked and didn't know what to do. I am so sorry. I was in tears while you were at the hospital. Did you know that? I can't forgive myself and don't blame you if you can't either. That was just awful of me, and so dumb. I'm dumb.
Finally, we have the newer and scarier. While undiagnosed, I may have tapeworms; which are parasites that grow and live inside of you; and digest all the food you eat before you can; which leaves you feeling hungry and weak twenty-four-seven. I'm afraid I will either start "leaking" worms, or that I will die of hunger.

So now you know why I'm so upset. I just want to say that you have been the best sister anyone could ask for. And I hope you can visit. We could play GameCube, and maybe Crokinole, and maybe go downtown. I could reimburse you for that purple shirt and those black pants you got me! Or maybe some jewelry with sapphires in it, do you still like earrings? They'd look great in that purple dress!

Oh, and by the way, no snow here yet. I hear you've seen quite a bit of it...How is everyone doing? We're all fine down here; except L. took a fall and got bruised. And my arm is sore because he and I played catch, but that's about it.
I should go now, it's 4AM and I haven't gotten even one wink. Anyway, miss you lots! I want to write you a letter sometime. It's better than spewing my guts out all over Blogger; but hey, this was eating me. Or maybe it's the tapeworms. In any case, I have heard you plan on coming next month and I'm so thrilled! What kind of desserts do you both like? If I made fudge would that be okay? My goodness, I miss MSN. I miss chatting to you. :(
Take care, sis!

Changes

What have they done to Google Translate? I hate it! How am I supposed to use it now? I have some friends who can't speak a lick of English, and Google Translate was what we used to communicate. Now there's this useless drawing tool. Uh, what am I supposed to with that, draw my friend a picture? Facebook's timeline thing is dumb, too. I keep clicking "Delete Post." It deletes it, but then it comes back! I refresh the page and there it is, like that cell phone in Bruce Almighty, when he chucks it out the window, watches it get run over, and then Bruce turns and sees it on his chair. It's not going away, I'm doing everything, I'm even Googling the instructions on how to use these sites; which until they reformatted them was something I never even had to consider. gURL.com doesn't let me log out until I've tried seven times, YouTube's deleted my entire Inbox page, and yet here I am swearing up and down that yes, I did waste three months of my childhood taking computer courses. I hate this B.S.

QUALM

Questionably Unsubtle And Large Mistakes ("QUALM")

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SHREK

1.] In the first movie, Shrek hangs his pants on a tree branch to bathe. However, he does not hang his shirt or vest.

2.] In the second movie, how do "Sargeant Pompous and the Fancy Pants Club Band" know where Shrek and Fiona live? They were expecting to see a prince and a princess, and yet they go directly to the swamp.

SHREK 2

The first blooper I've found is near the end, and everyone's dancing...again. Pinocchio has been transformed from a puppet, to a real boy, back to a puppet. But when he jumps into the audience and they carry him, he's a real boy again, and then two seconds later he's a puppet!

FINDING NEMO

1.] Just before Dory smacks into Marlin, she screams LOOK OUT! And then, two seconds later, she says, "I didn't see you!"

2.] How come Dory is always able to remember her name?

3.] Twice, Nemo stops the filter, and both times, Gill and the others pull seaweed to save him. It's the same piece.

4.] Darla is poking the fish tank, and Peach says, "Find a happy place!" The tank is placed in another room altogether. A woman says, "Your uncle will see you now", and all of a sudden the tank is back in the dentist's office!

SIMS LIFE STORIES

1.] Your Sim does not have a life insurance policy unless she dies of old age. Accidental deaths do not include life insurance policies.

2.] The mail carriers walk by your house only once a day. Unlike any other Sim, they do not walk past your lot again to go home. They are all teenagers, but their Skills & Career panel says they are not students. It also says they are unemployed. When did mail delivery stop being a job, and WHO are my Sims giving tips to?

3.] When your Sim gets a job as a newspaper deliverer, why do they still get a mailman? They should come out of that carpool holding a newspaper in their own hands!

4.] My Sims have a lot of friends, and to keep them I need to invite them over sometimes. Keeping that in mind, when my Sim calls an employed friend, there's a fifty percent chance she won't be home when I call. So, how come when I activate a household, in which a Sim was invited out, it doesn't say "Visiting Someone" beside their name?

5.] In the introduction, Riley is seen wearing a white wedding dress, which is not in the game at all. She also has a Teenager's voice, but is an Adult.

For a fun treat, watch this video; where you can see bloopers!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qjc0woAWEfg

Got any more?

Two And A Half Pieces Of

Here's how Two And A Half Men should have ended:

S6E11 hints that Charlie's will gives Berta his big, beautiful beach house. Why didn't they go with that? One of Berta's quotes is also, "If life were fair, I'd have my own talk show and you'd be scrubbing my toilets." That would have been a much better direction for the show. Berta would own the house, do her talk shows inside, kind of like how Charlie now does his therapy sessions in his house ("Anger Management"). Alan would be the supporting character, who cleans her house, but he would still be afraid of Berta. She would be the millionaire, not Walden. Ashton Butcher - I mean Kutcher - ruined the show; it was great until Charlie was killed off and he came in. Herb would  occasionally come in and maybe Berta could have a fling with him.  Sixteen or seventeen years pass and he makes another reappearance,  only to find that she has a daughter. And because Berta's a redhead and Herb is so tall; their daughter would HAVE to be portrayed by Laura Prepon. Hands down. Jake would come back from the army and become smitten with Berta's daughter. Chelsea and Mia would return, be informed of Charlie's death (because, oddly enough they haven't been yet), and after hearing the family's speculations that "Rose did it", they would take her to court. But, who knows? Maybe Charlie pops back into the scene. The body was, after all, burned beyond recognition...

Maybe he would walk right into the court room and interrupt the trial. Rose could say "Damn" and it would break for commercial. Or whatever. Anything's better than this; which, for some reason, they think is good enough to continue. Are they even still getting viewers? Because they ruined it. They could have done so much more; they have amazing potential, as we see in each episode of The Big Bang Theory...But it's too late now. Charlie's dead, he has a daughter who is way too much like Charlie for the show to gain back some pride; and Conchata Ferrell is, well, seventy. Much as I adore Berta, this show has gone down the crapper since dear Charlie died. Berta could have been the backbone to straighten it all out; she's the only respectable character left. However if they brought in Mia or Chelsea again, it might be 2% better. But that's still asking a lot for this show these days.

Lorre, Prady; TBBT is wonderful. Two And A Half Men is not. Focus on TBBT. And for the love of God, keep everyone alive, please. Especially Shamy. What a perfect pairing. And Bernadette! She's so cute, and has layers to her which surprise me with each new episode. Bernadette, Sheldon and Amy are three of the best television characters!

The Big Bang Theory: Fan's review

It starts off with an experimental physicist searching for his new roommate. In common with Leonard Leaky Hofstadter, his new roommate's work is also theoretical. Enter Sheldon Lee Cooper, a character who has become the favorite for many viewers. One thing any true fan knows about Sheldon is that one of his biggest quirks is how he knocks on your door. There are nine knocks divided into three groups, and after each consecutive knock of three, he will call your name. He also has a "spot" - he always sits on the far left side of the couch. His intelligence quotient is a high of 187, and he knows things that many don't. He has a strict routine; and is immune to sarcasm and humor. And when he knows something means a lot to you, he will spend all day practicing his smiles, even if it just doesn't interest him. Strangely, I find that ridiculously endearing.

When I first watched this show, and was familiarizing myself with these characters; my favorite was Leonard; then Raj; and now it is Sheldon, even though I still like Leonard and Raj. Just not as much anymore. With them it was a passing adoration, but I have truly, deeply and irreversibly fallen in love with Sheldon Lee Cooper. His counterpart, Amy Farrah-Fowler, also has become one of my favorites. And there is sweet, tiny Bernadette, who has a hidden mean streak. There are also Penny and Howard. He chased after her until the day he met Bernadette. What she sees in him, I'll never know; however, she too has become one of the most beloved characters.

Their quirks have become infamous and adored; though there is the occasional passing remark that the show's loyal fans would find distasteful. I don't know how there can be any hate for this show - since it is the only show Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady should take pride in. Their other shows, Two And A Half Men and Anger Management, should never have been made. What many find unforgiving are the facts: They fired Charlie Sheen, the best actor in Two And A Half Men, and hired a woman to play his ghost. Then they put him into The Big Bang Theory, and from what I can tell by the four seconds he is onscreen, his character is unchanged. I say this because, just prior to his appearance, the "science dudes", as called by the dimwitted Zack Johnson, mention a man with a beautiful beach house and is popular with the ladies. That, and Anger Management stars Charlie Sheen. I must say, Sheen has what I wish I had. If I worked for a director who fired me; I don't think I'd have the courage to work for him again. I admire him. If I had been in Lorre or Prady's position, however, I wouldn't have killed off Sheen. And if I hadn't had a choice; I would have brought in Chelsea again. She was, after all, his fiancee. And Rose, and Mia, and all the other people who were in Charlie's life. But since his death, which was far too out of character; those characters have walked off the face of the earth and they need to be brought back in. After all, I want to see how they're dealing with the loss of a man that meant a lot to them! I want to see how Rose is doing, with the accusations, true or false, that she killed Charlie. And for your information, his death should have been more in character. If he had to have been killed off at all; it should have been by AIDS, from having sex too often. Or perhaps it should have been alcohol poisoning. But, instead of using their brains, as they do so well with the Big Bang Theory, they decided to have Rose - a woman who loved him - push him in front of a train. What the hell?

Two And A Half Men was great, once. But it died along with Charlie Harper; after which it became a whole other train wreck. It is now a waste of talent, as is Anger Management; and The Big Bang Theory is the comeback. It's filled with the talent that those other two shows lack. It has comedy, wit and friendship. It has helped love blossom between grade A beauties and nerds.

I have tried to make characters of my own with silly quirks, dysfunctional habits and strict routines. However, I have about as much talent with writing as Sylvester Stallone does with acting. Which means I cannot write. Thankfully I have a better chance at improving at it than I do at realizing just how gosh-darned good Hudson's Hawk is. What a stupid, tedious, mind-numbing piece of shit that never should've been crapped out of any brownie-filled butt. I am never watching that movie again; and if I could take back the one night I did; I would, in a heartbeat.

Anyway, if you haven't watched The Big Bang Theory yet, I strongly suggest, and recommend, you do. For any disappointed former fan of Two And A Half Men, I am giving you your redemption on a silver platter. I am bringing it right to your bed. Take my Goddamn advice; because neither Two And A Half Men or Anger Management will get any better. Trust me, The Big Bang Theory has everything that has made those other two unmentionables so barren. It will give you half an hour of a glimpse of what talent is truly like when it's properly applied. And sometimes, they even run two back to back. Sometimes four. Sometimes a marathon! Now when did Two And A Half Men ever run all day?

But just wait. The Big Bang Theory is returning with all new episodes! What will happen, now that Raj can talk to women without alcohol? Surely he will find someone he deserves. What of Penny and Leonard? What of Howard and Bernadette? And, the biggest question of all, where is Shamy going? I'm glad Sheldon likes trains, because I am ready for a long, long ride...

I Feel Old...

Shrek Forever After (or as I like to call it, Shrek Goes Fourth) is TWO FRIGGIN YEARS OLD. Two years ago I was eighteen and now the movie is two years old! I don't watch it enough, considering its age. Hopefully the time passes just as fast for the sequel to Finding Nemo!

Time is such a funny thing. Memoirs Of A Geisha was made almost nine years ago; yet in every picture you can find of those actors and actresses, they don't look a day older.

Oh, and PS., I found that song I've been wanting to find since Shrek 4 was new. So congratulations to myself! I wrote my will, and I found my mystery music. My life is now complete. I feel so good! Metaphorically. I did it all in time, too, considering how unhealthy I really am. I had a heart attack-like event, which put me in the hospital. Sometimes it still hurts really bad. Apparently, two conditions I have had since a kid, are both deadly. How I'm still alive is beyond me. I also broke my toe.

But, as I was saying, time is a funny thing. I mean, here I am boasting about my progress, which is really held together by those special yet insignificant little things. And one day, I'll die, and it'll be like I was never here at all. I sure do wonder how, and when. And call me crazy, I want to die next so I don't need to live a single moment with the people who made my life so...Well, I flounder here. It's not perfect, but it's definitely not bad. I have a home and a big family, most of which is either weird or just unlikable. But I have one sister, two brothers, a sister-in-law, a stepsister, and a stepbrother; three parents; four grandparents, and a bevy of uncles and aunts and cousins and generations of people I never even got to meet! Here they are working their hands to the bone to give me a good life and I'm sitting at my computer, wasting it away and too scared of death to embrace life and change the person I hate being.

Sorry, family.

But smile. I won't be here one day. As much as it scares me, that's gotta make you feel good. And don't lie to me. I'd rather you just admit it.

Damn, I love this song! Can you believe this is one of my good days?