Think I'm Sick

      If this is healthy, it sucks. Ugh, I feel like utter shit. I feel like I need to violently throw up. I can't think and my stomach is in Celtic knots. Everything is moving too fast, shining too bright and blaring too loud. I feel like I could pass out and I just want to curl up with a puke pail in a totally black, totally quiet room.

I'm In Shock! (Update)

      I WON 2ND PLACE IN THE CONTEST! I'm so excited. I've never won anything before! I will be getting a mug with Daryl Dixon on it. I've never had a mug before either!

I'm In Shock!

      Wow. Something pretty cool just happened to me! Recently I came across a post to rewrite one of three specified Christmas songs about The Walking Dead. Because it was all I could come up with, and because I was not actually going for the prize, I rewrote a Christmas song that did not qualify. And they liked my entry so much that they are bending the rules and voting! On me!

Fun, Finally

      I'm finally playing Sims 3: Island Paradise. I don't know how, since I still haven't received my ordered copy. But when I realized my game should have arrived two months ago I contacted the seller, and he sent me the code. Somehow it worked; even though you normally need the disk in the drive to play the game. I'm hoping I can down-load it again should my computer need a complete re-installation.
      Finally, even if virtually, I can live on an island. Of course I started a new game in Isla Paradiso and bought a houseboat. Moved my girl way out into the ocean. It was seriously lagging last night, but today I finally got it where I wanted it. And it's perfect, because she can sit in her lounge chair and look right at the sunset! So suffice it to say, I'm jealous of my Sim, not for the first time.

The Seventh At Seven

      I had an okay birthday. For the first time in about eight years, it actually felt like one. We invited a person who actually came; and had pizza, pop, ice cream and cake. All that was missing was the music. And the rest of the family. Add that and it would have been perfect.
      Today has been good, too. Loved the leftovers. My game is going okay, and I realized something about it; I actually learned something. Hover the mouse over the clock in Sims 3, and it actually tells you how many weeks the house has been active! Hopefully one day it says Year - 22 more weeks until I find out. If I get there.
      And I saw a person with an afro riding a unicycle. Only here, I tell you. Try to find the meaning of the word normal and you see a clown straggling its way back to the circus. I honestly don't know if it was a man or a woman, but BoBo forgot the unicorn wig and the nose that doubles as a car horn.

The Count

      Well, there's only fifteen days, two hours and fifty-six minutes until my birthday. And just like last year, my plans have been tossed out the window by somebody else. I was talking about my plans last night, and today I woke up and he was still bitching about them. Just because others had bad experiences, doesn't mean I will. In fact I haven't.
      I said no matter what, I was doing it; and maybe I still should. It's supposed to be my day. You know what his day is? The other 355. It was going to be on my dime anyway; I don't think I've ever asked him for any favors. Certainly not about money.

Untitled

      Another Halloween come and gone. I was looking forward to it, since my game celebrates the festivities. I've never gone trick-or-treating, attended a costume party, nothing. So when costumes are added to the in-game shop, I usually find something I want. This Halloween I basically napped all day, because I'd gone so long without sleep. We had one trick-or-treater, and this time candy was actually given. Normally a sign of some sort is put on our door.
      I'll never forget one Halloween. I think it was 2009. I had a can of Silly String, shot it from an upstairs window at a woman walking on the other side of the street, and actually got her. I could hear her freaking out.
      But the decorations people put out for Halloween seem ridiculous. "Ohmigod, a pumpkin! It's squash!" What makes it scary, the face? And what's scary about bat stickers? "Look out, it's got glue on it!" Honestly, I'd be more concerned that so many parents let their children go out unsupervised, getting candy from strangers whose faces might be covered, even after all the scares about drugs or weapons concealed in candy. No, you just keep worrying about paper and fruit.
      So anyway, here are some Halloween shots from the game. (The skull's name is Beelzebub!)

Sims 3: World Adventures - Pictures

      Snapshots of my current game in The Sims 3: World Adventures. Eleven snapshots of my house, and one picture (so far) of a vacation destination. I just had to commemorate the moment of finding the glowing butterfly.

      I also have some videos, including sunset and sunrise videos... Unfortunately the videos are automatically deleted when I compile them in Movie Maker, so they might never see the light of day. How sad.

Tired And Tired Of

      My game is going pretty well. My Sim went to Egypt and France, got married, went to China with her husband, raised three kids and just returned from France again, this time with the whole crew. The eldest daughter, Tamara, just got married and knocked up. The family moved to a big, beautiful home I made using blueprints, and the home frames an inner courtyard with a fancy swimming pool...It's gorgeous, and it overlooks the ocean, too. The best part is, my game stopped crashing.
      So my game is fun and all is dandy there. But that's all that's working out for me. My left earphone died, and all the Sims 3 videos I worked so hard on continue to randomly become corrupt in Movie Maker. On top of that, we're already running low on food because, for some reason, we did not get even half the crap on our shopping list. My family seems to have attained the misconception that as long as we have milk, tobacco and cigarettes we're living in the lap of luxury. Well...I have many more complaints, but I can't talk about them with strangers. I know because I have before, and I still can't live with that.
      I can replace the earphones easily enough, but I do not want any of us to go anywhere (wishful thinking) until this damn flu epidemic is over. We're safe, and I just want it to stay that way. I want to isolate myself in a bubble, in a bullet-proof room and only see the light of day after I look at my clock and realize it's early enough to order my groceries. Or grow them inside my very own submarine house. At least, that's what I'd settle for. In a perfect world I'd be the only person living on an island, framed by a thin body of water that pours off into a waterfall to the ocean so far below me I can't see it. And there'd be a tree nearby, with a boulder covered in a carpet of moss so thick it's actually really comfortable. Ideally the clouds would rain chocolates. And the flowers would soar way up above my head, with petals bigger than my helicopter.
      Or maybe I pop a Vitamin B12 and try to sleep off this damn foolish nonsense I seem to be spewing. Still, it would be fantastic if I really could live the dream. Life gets so ridiculously boring some-times. Lately I feel a rush of pride if I can just get to midnight with-out taking a nap.

Best Joke I Ever Heard

      My uncle Dan is visiting right now, and a few moments ago he told the funniest joke I've ever heard. It's about three elderly brothers.
      "An old man puts one foot into the bath and forgets what he's doing. So he calls out to one of his brothers, 'Was I getting in or was I getting out?' The brother begins going up the stairs and then stops, calling out to the third brother, 'Was I coming up or was I going down?' The third brother shakes his head. 'I hope when I'm that old I'm not so forgetful. Knock on wood!' he says, and then calls out in response, 'I'll be right there; I just have to see who's at the door!'"
      That had us in stitches. Another good one is, "Why does Santa have such a big sack? Because he only comes once a year!"
      Earlier this week I was looking up videos of comedians and came across a child comedian named Ned Woodman. The name isn't the joke, just listen. His performance is based on insulting the judges; and his opening line is, "Why do so many people love it when people bring their dogs on this show? I don't see what the fuss is all about, Amanda Holden's been on it for years!"
      And this is the best part yet. Earlier today I went downtown and on my way back, I passed by a bike shop. And their motto is, "Put some fun between your legs!"
      All in all this has been the funniest, weirdest day I've had since my brother came and I parroted the marmot story. Their motto killed me so much I ended up submitting it to Ellen, so if you see that motto on What's Wrong With These Signs?, it's from yours truly.

Going Nowhere Fast

      Today alone my brother killed eighteen wolf spiders. One (of any kind) is too many, if you ask me. He probably pissed them off when he sprayed their hiding place with poison. Seventeen of his victims were right under this desk, so I'm a little jumpy.
      Life has...not been fun. I think I came down with a stomach bug. The spider infestation, as I mentioned. Plus being old beyond my years. Not wise, just old. As far as my mentality goes I'm basically a child. And no, that's not me underestimating myself: I have an addic-tion to candy, I still stick my tongue out at my brother, I hate any form of work. Damn it! It's like half of me is the babysitter, wearied by the endless job of caring for the other half, the immortal child. And I realize now that is a perfect example, because every single night I convince myself to have some junk food before bed. Also because I don't mind it when I cuss; I hate it when others cuss.
      And now my computer is dying. The power went out twice today, and both times it came back on, my screen was a mess of blue lines and fuzz, and the mouse cursor and all the programs were enlarged. It was the aforementioned brother to the rescue!
      So I'm probably going to look into buying an iPhone/iPod/iPad/ whatthefuckever. I'm tired of saving up for computer repairs, calling my brother's friend to fix it, and then watching it decay back to square one. Hopefully those little gadgets last longer; because I'm not asking for a lot. I just want something to outlast me. Long as I can still play my game, because I'm inching toward having enough curr-ency for the Soul Eater costume.
      Anywho, I'm off. Watched Toy Story last night. Now it's time for the sequel. Maybe I'll have sandwiches and fruit with it. Peaches aren't junk food, right? I think I can morally get away with that. I mean, I will be adding sugar, but I still think there's a difference between sweet peaches and candy. I hear candy and I think of those rock-hard chunks of chocolate with frosting on top and maybe some fruity syrup in the middle, which would send friggin Colossus to the dentist. Man, could you imagine him getting it on? Talk about being loud in the sack.

Invisible

      I'm debating whether to take a "powerful" medication that could make me sleep heavily for twenty hours, or at least that's how high the bar has been set. I'm thinking I might as well, since life is kind of boring to a laughable extent. I went downtown today, but I never made it to Wal-Mart. I started feeling like utter shit; I almost vomited on the bus and I felt like my right leg was trying to fall off. So while my mother went in for a haircut I sat in A&W and texted my friend. Or at least I thought she was my friend, but literally every time I text her, she says "Who is this?" and I just feel so...for-gettable. Literally every time.
      So I recuperated, bought a giant Lindt chocolate bar because I love Lindt, but it tastes...different. Yummy, edible, but different; like my taste buds are out of whack. And my stomach keeps doing these nasty flips. Like I ate a gymnast.
      Today could literally be erased from time, and I wouldn't care. Think I'll just get a puke pail, take some Midol and relax in bed.

Shrek 1 Plothole!

      Seventeen years later, I finally see it. And it's only in the first five minutes. The old lady has Donkey on a rope, she's going to sell him, and she expects big money because he can talk. So Donkey's trying to keep quiet, until the jar of fairy dust smashes him on the head and he can't contain his excitement when he starts flying. He starts talking, and the captain wants his guards to seize him!
      Yet nobody gives a damn about the talking pigs. Or the mice. The bears. The wolf. Donkey's cute and all, and I'd gladly let him talk my ears off; but if all animals can talk, he's not special. In fact if the snake and frog are the only animals who don't have that ability, they are the animals you'd want.

Shrek 4 Plothole!

      It's taken me eight years, but last night I began a Shrek story and something dawned on me. Rumpelstiltskin used his magic to get rid of the king and queen. He read the book based on Fiona's life (who can't relate to that?), he knows they had a daughter; why didn't she vanish, too?
      Yes, I know. If she had, the alternate universe couldn't have been defeated, which was in the contract. But obviously Rumpel is a scheming little rat (who was originally designed to look like one, by the way), killing off the king and queen was not in their agreement, and he did it anyway; so if Rumpel had been smart in his deception, he would have made absolutely sure Shrek could not share true love's kiss. And then what? Well, I suppose the real universe would just vanish without anyone noticing; and the alternate universe would continue forever.
      Ugh...

Train Wreck Bus Ride

      I've had the same shoes for fifteen years, so today I went into a shoe store. (And if I ever run my own, I'm absolutely going to call it Just For Kicks.) I tried on several pairs, but I was like the goddamn stepsister in Slipper Hell.
      Then at the bus stop, a big scary guy sat next to me. He didn't seem sick and he didn't say a word to me, so I dealt with it. Then the train wreck bus ride began and oh my God, remind me to never get on a bus. Hell, let's just remind me to never again leave the house, okay?
      This guy had been on the bus before, asking one guy a hundred times, How's Ryan? How's Ryan today? I saw him once trying to get my attention, but I was so annoyed with him already I just ignored him. So of course when he got on the bus again, he migrated right to my seat and sat down without asking if I minded, even though every other seat on the entire bus was available. (Well, the driver seat wasn't, but you get the gist.)
      I was already motion sick, and this idiot kept rocking. Back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. I suppose I should be glad he didn't rock side to side and knock into me, but I was just irritated. And was he quiet? No. But he did hush when he figured out I was still ignoring him...It took awhile. Thankfully his stop came before mine; I was afraid he wouldn't let me off.
      And now I learn I have to go to court and testify against our neighbor, who has caused nonstop problems, undoubtedly his whole life. All in all this has been one hell of a week.

Two Funny Guys

      My brother came over with his wife today. Since he moved away from the family when I was a kid I don't really know him, but it turns out he's just as funny as our oldest sibling, which I totally envy because it's a real drag to be a damn buzzkill. Anyway I might not explain everything he said really well, but I'll try.
      The first topic on my list is going to be short, because he was actually coming up the stairs talking to our brother. But he was talking about an old acquaintance whose "penis could fit into a thimble." That's the only part I heard, but it was enough.

      Next are the kids who try to yank out their own baby teeth, but don't really want to. He spoke of this kid who, naturally, had a string tied around his tooth and the doorknob, and he would barely push on the door and then lean forward to avoid having it ripped out. And as he's telling the story, he's leaning back and forth making all kinds of whining groans because he's impersonating both the kid, and the door. (It sounded a lot funnier coming from him.)
      Next up is the pot story. Apparently he smoked it as a teen. Actually this story was told by his wife. I can't remember the details, but apparently he took a drag with a friend and it turned them into little girls; which is funny because he's a big guy with a loud voice. But apparently they were giggling and she imitated the laugh; she made him sound like Bernadette Wolowitz. And I mean her fake laugh in the restaurant.
      He spoke of work, as usual. Best story yet. He said there are a lot of marmots where he lives now, and one fat juicy one got in the way of his big rig. He rolled over it, and he said, "You couldn't get that kind of explosion if you stomped on a packet of ketchup the size of a basketball!"
      So there really is no retelling these stories; I think I would have had to have been there in order to make it as funny as he did. But he had us all laughing; it was so great to have some funny moments with them. Their dog had just died, and I thought they would be bummed out; but even when they looked at pictures of him they had funny stories to tell. Mostly about how much he stank when he got gassy.
      Why are gassy pets so funny? His ass was on my lap and he'd had garlic; it wasn't funny. Loved that dog though. Even afterward. I'm just glad it was just gas.

Karma

      I was watching Finding Nemo earlier, while eating a fish sandwich. Horrible, I know; it must have been unforgiveable, because my DVD player froze. None of the buttons worked; the only thing I could do was unplug it. Ironically it froze at the scene where Gurgle says, "That's disgusting!" and Bloat replies with, "Tastes pretty good to me."

...

      I went downtown today. It was damn near thirty degrees and I saw a lady wearing a sweater under a coat, a scarf, and what looked like ski pants. I also saw a very small Woody Cowboy statue in someone's yard. I had to really look at it (through a dirty bus window), but once I saw the cow-patterned vest I knew it was him... although his nose kind of gave it away at a distance.
      Miserable bus ride it was, too. Not only did the bus start moving before I was seated, but the heaters were on full blast, I got stuck using a sideways seat, and when I moved I think the dude behind me coughed on me. I hate people. I hate buses.
      Thankfully I'm home now, playing a good game, drinking pop, eating pizza. And, I had my first chicken burger in half a year. Before last time, it had been three years! That's too long to go without chicken; it's just not right.
      And unfortunately, two days ago my brother deleted all my Sims games. It had to be done, but I'm sad. No more Mayberry; no more beautiful mansion; no more atrociously evil witch whose birthday, thanks to the genie lamp, was over 300 days away. And she had this wicked palace, too. Big, beautiful, and lit only with the Fist and Claw Of Darkness lights. And every chair was the Darkness throne. I lost that really beautiful Sim, with that eccentric name - which I cannot remember for the life of me.
      Ah, damnit, my Sims 3! My underground mansion, my Sim with over two million Aspiration Points!
      It was for the best....Apparently the Sims games got infected with a virus. That's probably why the townie Lilly Do got cloned to death. Translation: I had about sixty of her on the apartment lot. They all filed into one apartment, and they were all talking and laughing...I should've posted the videos I took; I hope deleting the game didn't delete them too. But it was madness; I even tried deleting them and they would just keep spawning.
      I'll get over losing this session. I don't miss the Quinn family as much. I'll never get over the last session I lost before this one - the West era. Man alive, I must've had two hundred Sims in that family. Some advice - age up Trina Wong and have her marry Sullivan Thayer. They have beautiful kids. Anyway, I haven't even played Family Fun Stuff yet, which I've had for about a month. After this next complete reinstall, I'm going to see what it's all about.
      I'll always miss my immortal, atrociously evil witch...I named her Morbidda Castor. Isn't that beautiful?

      Edit [May 25th 2018] - I remembered her name! I don't remember her parents' names, but hers was Ebony. Her surname was Turner, until she married some guy with the last name Wolosenko.

...

      I think watching Fresh Prince is keeping my bad dreams away. Since I rediscovered it (and haven't been able to get enough of it) my dreams have been a lot less violent. I haven't had to see a loved one get shot in the chest fifty times, or dream about myself being put in the electric chair.
      I wrote about that driving dream, with Will and Carlton...Well, this time it only involved Geoffrey. It took place on my previous house on Blueberry, except there was no road. It was literally a river, with a waterfall and everything. I come down the waterfall first, and then something else comes down and knocks me out; and I wake up dazed and confused, ask Geoffrey what happened, go into the kitchen and realize I left the water running. I don't know why that part came into play - the floor was dry.
      And before that, I dreamed that I was playing a game that was a crossover of Sims, Avakin Life, Minecraft and movies. It was like Minecraft in the way of what my brother calls God mode, where you double-jump and start flying. It was like Avakin Life in the scenery and design. We were all running around speaking Simlish, and the movie element came into play when I ran across the house and jumped through a window. There was glass, but I didn't feel it; which is good, because the first wall was in the center of the house and I had to jump through another window. And I floated through the city taking photographs. But while the scenery and design were all Avakin Life, movement would not pause while taking a photo; so every time I was in God mode and took a picture, I would fall to my death. And then I would come back to life and go into God mode and take another one.
      Long story short, even when I'm asleep I'm crazy.

Yay!

      My Fresh Prince DVDs arrived today. I watched the series premiere and then used the DVD to continue my marathon where I left off online, and so far everything looks good...Of course I'll be rewatching the whole series to make sure nothing's missing.
      When I first got it I was afraid it would be set to the wrong region. One of my new movies refuses to play on anything but my brother's computer. If my remote had the Info button I could reset my player, but it doesn't have that...which it should, because it's the original remote! Guess I'll have to sell it and try again. And this time I'll ask if it's a Region 1.
      Anyway...

X

      I think I've lost all my literary passion. No matter what I write, no matter how much fun I have writing it, upon revision it just stinks. I did improve the beginning and fix up two or three mistakes, but that's the most work I've done to my book in a week. I once found a book that had been lying dormant in storage for three years, nowhere near complete; and in 2011 or whatever I'd thought it was my best work yet. Total garbage, as usual, and that's exactly what's happening now.
      Maybe I'm just wasting time.
      My mother says my talent is Checkers. I don't want my whole life to come down to a game! Not unless I can make a living off it. But I want to write. I have these ideas and characters and even my own little world. Countries, cities, rivers, valleys. I want them to come to life, and it's just not happening; everything is so dead.
      Honestly I don't even know why I bother. Maybe it's because there are people out there who write, sing, dance, and make up the funniest jokes. Or they paint, sculpt, and they're also doctors. I just want to be one of those things, and they can do all of it.
      I feel so unimportant. If I died right now, I wouldn't leave behind anything everlasting. My brother recently told me that when all humankind is extinct, our voices will still be heard, because of parrots. I was hoping I had a talent, but I don't. Goddamn, I want a parrot.
      The only reason I ever got an email account was so I could hang out on MSN Messenger, and people would see my name come up and know that I existed. And when I discovered online gaming I did that too, so people would see my avatar. It became my whole reason for getting out of bed, because I had nothing else to offer, though not for the lack of trying my hardest. I've written my whole life. And all I've gotten from it is stress.
      Every time I try to write....I try my damnedest to sound like a different person. Not because I'm trying to write in the perspective of one, but because I hate the way I write. Something about my style is so...loathsome. It's simple, undetailed, and incredibly immature. In 2017, when I first began rewriting my first book I intentionally left out all the detail and promised myself that I would add it in later. But it doesn't work like that, because none of the detail fits.
      I've tried script format, but I ended up not saving that because A.) I need to describe the scene, and B.) if I want to upload them to FanFiction.Net, they don't allow script format. Which is stupid, because it shouldn't matter how I write it as long as I'm the one who wrote it. You know, it never fails to amaze me how many stories on there are just scripts from the movies, and people say, "Love your work, so original! Keep it up, friend; you're the absolute best!"
      I have spent my whole life writing and I'm just not excited. My books bore me to tears. And I can't dance or paint, either; I've tried. And I don't even want to try sculpting; I stab myself doing the dishes.
      Guess I better break out the ol' Checkers board. At least I can do something no one else in this house can do. I just thought it would be something that meant more. You know, the other day I caught myself thinking that skiing and hurtling through the water on a motorized boat looked pretty fun. I've always wanted to para-chute, or at least take a hot air balloon ride. I did have the opportunity to ride a horse once, and maybe now I'd give it a try. I am so sick of how boring and unfulfilling life is. I've been able to find reasons to get out of bed. A show. A movie. My dead grand-mother's birthday. But it's just not enough.
      So far my bucket list is only two items long. Meet An Idol, and...Remember Second Item. Shit, I just had it. Oh, yes - Write A Book, that's what it was. My money says I'll meet an idol before I get published.
      I need more food. And more comedy. I know just the thing.

...

      I've been having some weird dreams lately. Weird even for me. I don't know what I've been doing before bed, but I'd like to make it a routine.
      First I dreamed that I got into a car with the cast of The Big Bang Theory, and my conscience was both in my own body and Amy's; and I could actually switch at will. We drove around and around in a giant pattern, looking for something new: The beach. And the guys had all come up with weird nicknames for themselves and wore these really bright contact lenses. Leonard was Webster, and I can't recall the rest.
      Then I dreamed that Lorne got into a fist fight with Shane. I opened my window and watched. Lorne took one punch but knocked that asshole to the ground. It was worth having to wake up and realize it hadn't happened.
      Last night probably takes the cake...I was playing NFSW, going to all my favorite places, driving my favorite car. My lights were flashing, my sirens were blaring and it was exactly as I remembered it. I drove through every chain link fence I could find and it sounded just the same. And then it changed. Will was driving, and Carlton was freaking out because 'my' reckless driving had garnered the attention of the police. So he started getting out while the car was flying down the street, and Will slammed on the brakes. Of course we got caught and arrested, and I'm just standing there looking at all the broken fences and fallen traffic lights thinking...Good game.
      So maybe I have gone overboard with it, but I'm just getting started. I bought the series and it should be here next month. Hopefully it works; I bought a movie that is incompatible with my DVD player - which I can't unlock because my remote control isn't that advanced. Figures; I've got one of those really heavy dome TVs from the '70s. If I had a cellular phone the size of my shoe I'd be stuck in that time and deemed crazy.
      At least in this NFSW dream there were no zombies or dino-saurs.


      PS. Why is my Blogger set to military time...?

...

      I've been watching a Fresh Prince marathon, and there's one episode I don't understand. Season 3, episode 5. Carlton's past girl-friend shows up with a baby she claims is his, and he faints three times with the shock of it. But then he confesses privately to Will that they never had sex. If he knew he was not the father, why the hell would he faint? Why would she have insisted the baby was his? It makes no sense.

      Edit [May 22nd 2018 at 2:45 PM] - I guess what I don't understand the most about this episode is why Carlton and Cindy would elope. They never slept together, so obviously they both know the baby is not his. Obviously, for some reason I can't find, they're lying to Carlton's family members. If it was all for show, why would they have a wedding nobody was invited to?

Untitled

      Things are going to get interesting for me in a few days. I bought movies online. Seven of them! It will be so awesome to actually have variety. I think I've bought every movie I like! Now all I have to do is hope they get here in good condition.
      Let me see here. Liar Liar, Memoirs Of A Geisha, What A Girl Wants, and the four Tinker Bell movies I've wanted to own since 2014 - I'm guessing. It's a weird story, how I was introduced to Tinker Bell. Did I look up Disney movies? You'd think that. But I was writing my story, a pointless endeavor as always, and came up with the name Mae Whitman. I Googled it, because I have a reputation of coming up with characters who are actually real. Sure as shit, there she was.
      The Tinker Bell movies do get less charming with every watch, but they were only a few dollars, so I figured what the hell. It'll give me some variety, at last; perfect for nights when I'm tired of what little I've got. Say I can't sleep, or I'm too sick to do anything but lie in bed.
      For the longest time I've had Shrek 1-4, Tangled, and Finding Nemo. That was it. Then I got Ice Age 1-4, and years later Toy Story 1-3, Monsters University and Monsters Inc. Aaaand that was about a year ago now. The longest freakin' year of my entire life.
      I also looked up Sagwa DVDs, but Wikipedia only listed the episodes I can watch for zero cost anytime on YouTube. I want to watch ones I haven't seen in maybe ten years. And Action, The Jade Rabbit, Homesick Jun, and...well, that's pretty much it. The rest are available, but I don't want to buy something I can watch on YouTube. The only reason I bought seven movies is because A.), I've always wanted them, and B.), I am so fed up with all the damn Putlockers - none of which really work. And if they do, you can only watch the episode once...It's easier to spend a couple of bucks and have 'em on my bookshelf. They are long, long movies that my computer can't really handle. YouTube is simple, Sagwa is maybe eleven minutes long. No problem.
      I'm going to have to make room!
      I also bought a gorgeous engagement ring and a ring box, sep-arately. No plans to marry yet, but I'm pretty sure I can make a profit on this.
      I had Liar Liar once. On VHS. Then I babysat this devil child. She ate it. She also covered my favorite sweater in a huge gob of snot; I had to throw it away. Not barehanded. I miss that sweater, but it was not salvageable. Have you ever wanted to find a time machine, travel back to where you were done wrong and slap the faces of those responsible? I didn't, because I was a nice kid. Let's just say that was then.
      I can't wait till my items get here! It's like the only good thing in my life right now. This is what's kept me from, well, slapping faces. That and my brother. Everything I do is for him now. Volunteering to do a thousand dishes? Who really does that?

How Times Change

      ...I'm remembering stuff I hadn't thought of for years. Like the Walkman I used to own. How I would sit on the picnic bench and listen to my CDs from my pocket, thinking it was the coolest thing ever. Or not being able to take the phone to the couch because it was attached to a cord. Or being too afraid to go into the tree house; I don't think I went inside once. I can still remember the ropes of cobweb that stretched from the tree house, to the tire swing, to the other tree. The gobs of silk strung all along the inside of the tire swing.
      I remember making mud pies with my neighbor. We called it "poo goo." We'd have sticky brown fingers every day after school. She ate some. She made a mud pie and she actually ate some.
      I remember the ladybug infestation. Damn, there must have been hundreds. My pet caterpillar, which I named Catapult. The igloo. The garden. All the crickets and frogs we heard every single night. I'd sure love to go back to those nightly sounds. Instead of traffic, sirens, screaming. Guitars at four in the morning.
      What I can't stop remembering are the two times I saw people riding their horses down the street. That was fascinating to me. The farm had a horse, but he was always behind the gate. I don't think I ever saw him being ridden. The landlady didn't have jumps or training posts or anything; I still don't know why she had a horse. Seemed pointless. He didn't pull carts or wagons, far as I know.
      The new litter of puppies. I know one of them was named Oreo, but I can't remember the others. Their mother was Meg, but I never saw her mate. The puppies looked purebred, but I suppose Anna the sheepdog could've just had a tiny penis. Anna might even be a unisex name; I don't know. Anna was too damn hairy for me to tell.
      And all the times I saw my neighbor sitting on the porch floor, peering at me through the screen, waiting for me to finish eating so we could play. It felt nice to have a friend who wanted to have the best of times. Now I'm old, I'm weak. All my grownup friends want to do is sit, drink coffee, basically be the parents who bored us to tears growing up.
      Play-Doh, egg-holding contests, catching frogs, and beetles. Ugh, I remember this one frog. It started twitching in my hand, freaked me the fuck out and I threw it across the yard. Don't worry - Kermit lived. I mean, he's dead now...

Virtual Rambles

      I was introduced to E-Bay a few days ago. They have everything! I'm hoping to get a Visa soon and sell some crap so I'll have money to put onto it...Before 2019 I'm hoping to have all the movies and even a game that I have never, not once, seen in stores. And if I had known about E-Bay earlier I could have saved myself the ten minutes I spent crammed in a store smaller than the living room between a sick guy and a farting guy, only to leave empty-handed, disappointed and grossed out.
      But the only thing I caught was a liking to online shopping. It all started when Mom loaned me enough money to buy 49,000 coins in my game. Cool thing about her is, she said it was a gift and was happy to help. And I'm on the moon, because spending all that money made me reach level 30! Quickly, too; I was only on level 29 for about a week; and I'd been on level 28 for two months. But thanks to her, I was able to design the most expensive character in the entire game. I don't look poor anymore! If I may brag - and it's my blog, so I will - my character costs 32 grand and has nineteen homes!
      Now if only they could get rid of all these extra online movie websites and just have one that actually worked, I could get last night's movie night started. Tried to watch something about an hour and a half long, only to realize that only the first half hour had been uploaded.
      But knowing I can finally finish my movie collection, buy the game I've been looking for since 2014 and maybe even a shirt, for $35....makes me feel like the world doesn't have to be so boring. The question is, what do I have that I can sell? This game is awesome; the prices for money are extremely low. The lowest price is only 99 cents. The highest is ninety-nine dollars and ninety-nine cents. Actually affordable. If I can make two hundred dollars I'm getting 200,000 coins and spending all of it...That should get me to at least level 34.
      I designed a game myself. It's not published or playable or anything, but I love the concept. Seems like it would be a big step in the gaming industry. It's basically life, but with enhanced character design. You would click on the hair and drag the mouse to make it longer or shorter and determine how it flows; you would click on each button of a sweater to open or close that one button; and if you know you can't log in to pay your rent, you could choose to pay a lump sum in advance...And since I'm tired of needing to collect a certain amount of virtual money, everything would be free until you click Save. Open world featuring interactive objects, including cars, maybe featuring real places, maybe the Eiffel tower. Of course it would have smooth animations, bright colors, and awesome graphics; not like those games anybody ever grew up with. We've come a long way since 2004, and this game would show it. And if your character got a job, you would actually have to do it; like if she were a hotel housekeeper you would actually follow her through the building, making sure she earns the paycheck. Cars could break down, you could fix them...The only thing I haven't designed is its type: Single-player world, or MMO?

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      I can't believe that the Shrek movie series began seventeen years ago. I feel so old. I remember when I first received it on my birthday the year it came out. I lived on a farm. My idea of a good time was riding my bike and watching the animals. I watched it with my neighbor, who was four at the time, and got to the point where Shrek yells, What are you doing in my swamp? And I was called home, and my brother and his wife gave me the movie. I was ecstatic. I remember the layout of our houses, and the secret passage in the backyard, and the big gap under her porch where we hid one time eating bananas.
      It's so different now. I'm different. I'd shave off ten years of my life if it meant I could be a kid again for a day. And no, Stiltskin, don't get any ideas. But Fiona pulls out her knife on Shrek, and he tells her what he knows about her. That when she signs her name, she puts a heart over the I. She sings so beautifully that birds explode. She doesn't like the covers wrapped around her feet and sleeps by candlelight...Blah, blah, blah. Don't get me wrong - beautiful movie. Love warrior Fiona. Love her lines, love Cameron Diaz, it's perfect.
      But what about that Sir Justin picture on the bottom of her bed? He should have thrown that in there. A lot of women sing and dot their I's with hearts, and she knew that. But nobody else knows about the figurines on her fireplace mantle. And she would have really been blown away if he described the view from her bedroom window.

Let The Good Times Roll

      Life here is both weird and fantastic, lately. Yes, I still have my complaints; but certain aspects in life have improved! Like...my game. I bought a lovely dress with wings (in my game, obviously) and it's a sheer glowy gold, and it comes with giant wings. And it was only one dollar short of ten freakin' grand! I actually had to make another account to gift it to myself, because my main account only has 8 dollars. The game also has a cat with a crown on its head, which also costs 9,999; and a 'real gold' iPhone costing 7,999. It'll take awhile, but eventually I'll have an account worth more than 31k!
      And my Sims are going great, too. It's been over a year, maybe almost two by now, since I lost the biggest family anyone has ever made; but even with my small, current family I don't think I could be much happier than this. I made a large, beautiful house and called it Indigo Palace, and my Sims actually have grandparents on both sides of the family!
      Life is weird in the way that my mother has been on a Shrek marathon. I had to offer because she was sick of going through all of Big Bang Theory and That '70s Show in three weeks, but I was not expecting her to say yes - or even watch Shrek Forever After one night after another - and even say she's going to watch Shrek 1 again. I would have sooner bet my life that she would rather have thrown those movies out than watch them.
      The weirdest and most fantastic? I cut my own hair earlier this month, and it's above my shoulders and it's actually straight! It doesn't even touch my shoulders, which is awesome, because when it does and it's wet, it feels like it's trying to cut me. First I asked my mother to cut it, but by the time I smelled the wine on her breath it was a lopsided mess. So I fixed it! Think Rapunzel, except it's all one length and has the ability to grow back.
      A few days ago it also snowed. Not a lot, but enough where I watched it fall past a street lamp. And then I had pizza, and pop, and chocolate. And lately I've been making perfect grilled cheeses. And my brother cooks these amazing meals. Meat, veggies, pot-atoes, stuffing, and it's all nice and soft and yummy. I normally get stuck with dishes, but lately I've been assigned other tasks...thank goodness. Don't get me wrong, that's important; but when you're doing everybody's dishes and sometimes there's over seventy of them and they don't rinse anything and you're sore and it's past your bedtime and you're stuck there for over an hour - you really start to want to be doing literally anything else.
      All my books are going nowhere, but I'd rather try and fail than succeed at doing nothing. I'm on my gazillionth attempt, and I'm already dissatisfied. But then I read the script of fantastic movies, and I'm surprised at how boring it actually is if I'm not hearing and seeing it. Besides, people actually think Gangnam Style and Pineapple Pen are great songs, so my chances are actually pretty good.
      I am just so happy right now! I wish I could feel like this for-ever.

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      Bro told me a funny story yesterday; he had called for a cab, and when the taxi driver saw me standing outside he called me the scary Albino chick. It's the cutest thing anyone's ever called me! I'm going to make that my new username. Maybe get a special mug.

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      I can't believe I haven't written about this yet, but a few nights ago I had the weirdest dream. I was playing the controller, and all I could see of myself were my thumbs. The screen took up the rest of the view, but you couldn't see a screen; it was more like Super Mario and I were in the same room. Anyway, I'm running over bridges, and they fall away once I get to the other side. He's got the raccoon tail and I'm making him fly when I don't make him jump far enough, but there are a bunch of mushrooms all over the place, and when I land on the tops they shoot me off-screen.
      Here's the weird part. When I get to the boss, there are actually three of them. One of them is Santa Claus. I can't defeat them, but I blast my way through them and actually finish the level. And the next thing I know I'm me, in the real world, inside a school; running through hallway after hallway looking for a teacher named Mr. Solomon; meanwhile the Nintendo bosses are still chasing me.
      Oh, and here's another weird dream. I'm living at our house on Blueberry with Mom and Bro, except the western wall in the living room has been torn away and there's a giant audience sitting there. The cast of Friends is there, and Monica and Phoebe are acting like a couple. Anyway, we get a call that our "baby is ready for pickup", and Mom and Bro head out; next thing I know he's knocking on the door with an armful of laundry. Then we're walking through this experi-menting room, and people are testing out all kinds of equipment on themselves.
      Actually, not as weird as I remember. I've had weirder. Like jumping off the Ptarmigan 2 porch that has no rails and flying away; and then, the next night, standing on the same porch with rails, knowing I can fly but frustrated because the rail's in my way. Breathing underwater. Changing my appearance by just thinking about it, and then losing control of the ability and not being able to stop changing my appearance; kinda like Cassie in The Reaction, I guess.
      I think the weirdest dream is the one where I'm hiding in a closet with twelve newborns, watching these furry monsters invade the house. That was weird. Or the one where I'm in a glass elevator with my husband (I don't even actually have a boyfriend yet), shooting out one baby after another, and this elevator isn't even in a building. It's outside, everyone can see me (eesh!), and it doesn't even go anywhere. It just...keeps going.
      I think if I stopped dreaming, I'd have a better chance of feeling rested in the morning.

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      Lately I've been getting 20 minutes to 2 hours of sleep each night. Naturally, my attention span is destroyed during the day and I take naps. I heard you can only go as far as 14 days without getting any sleep at all, and then death. I'm wondering how I've made it this far, but I'll do whatever it takes to at least make it to see all the good movies coming out.
      Anyway, my last nap was actually pleasant. I've had three naps today and the first two were okay, as far as dreams are con-cerned...Except they only gave me three hours of extra sleep com-bined, and I was woken up by thumping and banging. Apparently I'd built this strange home in Sims 3, with a tall tower in the middle of a platform with stairs going up to the ground. And then I had to fence off the stairs because there were two zombies and a burglar on my lot.
      My third dream was....pretty cool, actually. Shame it ended so soon. I was playing Sims 3 again, using the lifetime happiness cheat. (Fun fact; in real life, I used it to get to 2 million.) Except, somewhere along the line, it got mixed up with Avakin Life, and I was using the cheat to get limitless coins. I went crazy buying stuff. And then, naturally, I woke up and was disappointed. Ughh...Coins are so hard to come by in this game. Unless you have real money you can blow on it. Which I don't, sadly.
      It was a good pick-me-up, because in my dream I'd read an article that Helen Mirren had died. Just sucks, how expensive everything is in this game. Oh, sure, they finally added that waitress job, so you're not getting 250 coins every 5 months, but a simple name change costs 5,000 coins. A car, which has zero function, costs up to 199,999. For my goal I need 2,696. Sometimes people don't order. Or they do, and then leave before you can bring them their item. You can earn as little as 3 coins per job. My highest has been 30. Sometimes you meet generous people who order all damn day; I finally got up to 567 coins. Near my goal? Not at all.
      I'd say it's not worth it, if I had something else going on. I'm busting my ass trying to write books, and no one cares. I'm trying to be excited about how far I've gotten, but I'm not even sure if they're half-decent.
      Long story short, this affordability problem is exactly why I planned a game where everything is free until you click Save. It's an awesome game. It's so modern and smooth. The character's wrists wouldn't cave in like the Sims' wrists do. You could grab the character's hair and move it around to make it curl however you want. All name changes free forever. I just want a game where you can use your imagination without worrying about fake finances! Where do all these fake coins go, anyway? I'm not putting real money into it, so how does it benefit the company? Is it like a Bitcoin deal?
      There's this feature called a Build Machine. If the item has a blue box in the top right corner, you can use the Build Machine to slowly lower its price until the item is free. Very handy; I garbed my girl for Halloween and Christmas at zero cost. But you have to wait as long as a month to get a dress. And if your game is like mine, one day the dress will disappear, never to be found again even though there is no delete button. You can't sell anything you own; which sucks, because I know I won't reach my goal. Well. Maybe by next year. How sad is that? I remember a time when I completed my New Year's Resolution on the first day of January. Bought this computer. Now it's six years old.
      Oh, I know, I know. No one cares. Why did you read to this point? Look at it all! It's a longer block of text than my book had been for the first 11 years of its life!