My brother came over with his wife today. Since he moved away from the family when I was a kid I don't really know him, but it turns out he's just as funny as our oldest sibling, which I totally envy because it's a real drag to be a damn buzzkill. Anyway I might not explain everything he said really well, but I'll try.
The first topic on my list is going to be short, because he was actually coming up the stairs talking to our brother. But he was talking about an old acquaintance whose "penis could fit into a thimble." That's the only part I heard, but it was enough.
The first topic on my list is going to be short, because he was actually coming up the stairs talking to our brother. But he was talking about an old acquaintance whose "penis could fit into a thimble." That's the only part I heard, but it was enough.
Next are the kids who try to yank out their own baby teeth, but don't really want to. He spoke of this kid who, naturally, had a string tied around his tooth and the doorknob, and he would barely push on the door and then lean forward to avoid having it ripped out. And as he's telling the story, he's leaning back and forth making all kinds of whining groans because he's impersonating both the kid, and the door. (It sounded a lot funnier coming from him.)
Next up is the pot story. Apparently he smoked it as a teen. Actually this story was told by his wife. I can't remember the details, but apparently he took a drag with a friend and it turned them into little girls; which is funny because he's a big guy with a loud voice. But apparently they were giggling and she imitated the laugh; she made him sound like Bernadette Wolowitz. And I mean her fake laugh in the restaurant.
He spoke of work, as usual. Best story yet. He said there are a lot of marmots where he lives now, and one fat juicy one got in the way of his big rig. He rolled over it, and he said, "You couldn't get that kind of explosion if you stomped on a packet of ketchup the size of a basketball!"
So there really is no retelling these stories; I think I would have had to have been there in order to make it as funny as he did. But he had us all laughing; it was so great to have some funny moments with them. Their dog had just died, and I thought they would be bummed out; but even when they looked at pictures of him they had funny stories to tell. Mostly about how much he stank when he got gassy.
Why are gassy pets so funny? His ass was on my lap and he'd had garlic; it wasn't funny. Loved that dog though. Even afterward. I'm just glad it was just gas.
Next up is the pot story. Apparently he smoked it as a teen. Actually this story was told by his wife. I can't remember the details, but apparently he took a drag with a friend and it turned them into little girls; which is funny because he's a big guy with a loud voice. But apparently they were giggling and she imitated the laugh; she made him sound like Bernadette Wolowitz. And I mean her fake laugh in the restaurant.
He spoke of work, as usual. Best story yet. He said there are a lot of marmots where he lives now, and one fat juicy one got in the way of his big rig. He rolled over it, and he said, "You couldn't get that kind of explosion if you stomped on a packet of ketchup the size of a basketball!"
So there really is no retelling these stories; I think I would have had to have been there in order to make it as funny as he did. But he had us all laughing; it was so great to have some funny moments with them. Their dog had just died, and I thought they would be bummed out; but even when they looked at pictures of him they had funny stories to tell. Mostly about how much he stank when he got gassy.
Why are gassy pets so funny? His ass was on my lap and he'd had garlic; it wasn't funny. Loved that dog though. Even afterward. I'm just glad it was just gas.
Aww, I wish I'd been there! lol, it sounds like you guys had some real fun ... :D
ReplyDeleteWe did. Definitely would have been nice to have had you both here.
Delete:) We'll have to plan for it ... would be nice :)
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