Apocalypse Dream!!!

       I had a lot of dreams in my last sleep. My most memorable one is the, spoiler alert, apocalypse dream. It took place in a hotel near the ocean...or maybe just a big-ass house. It started with me running after characters from The Walking Dead; I followed Tyreese, Lizzy, and Mika. For some reason he put the baby, Judith, on the ground and then they all ran away, and we ended up at the hotel. We locked the door, tried to be quiet, but the floor was very creaky. Just like at home.

      In the silence, we could hear the walkers moving through the hallways, looking for prey. I looked out the window and saw a cat, attempting to nurse her kittens, while her insides were falling out.

      That's pretty much the end of that dream, and I just remembered another one! So weird. So my Sims were at a party, and when it ended they were going to meet up at the library, when I got the notification that a "show of lights" was starting. They ran outside to "look at all the pretty colors," and I pressed Tab and lifted into the air for a clear view. Found these fireworks that had launched off, but they hadn't exploded; they just froze in the sky, three dragons made only of light. Somehow they became real enough to blow fire at me, then the third one began following me everywhere, like a damn Roblox pet. My dream self was so freaked I quit the game. Of course it asked if I wanted to quit, causing my character to freeze, and this firework dragon latched onto my head, slash camera. I woke up as my entire dream was becoming just a field of whiteness.

      So friggin weird. But I'll take weird over scary, any day!

...

       I had a bizarre dream today. That it was vivid enough to be mistaken for reality is just a given; I am a highly lucid dreamer. Just call me Lucider! But yeah, it could probably be classified as a nightmare; I was in the passenger seat of the car my mother used to have. She was driving on the highway, and the rails actually looked blurry because of how fast we were going. I could see reflections, shadows...everything.

      And then a city bus fell off the cliff. Even the splash was realistic; I could see all those individual water droplets. I could see their faces, hear the screams. No wonder I'm tired and headachy all the damn time; my brain works too hard. My mother and I got out of the car and stood at the shore, waiting to see if they needed help, but even in my dream we couldn't swim.

      It was kind of a relief to wake up, and I actually felt awake enough to keep my bloody eyes open. So I've actually been out in the living room this whole time, acting alive. I'll try to make some fudge―last time I didn't have enough butter. We were critically low on bread and today my mother went shopping, so hopefully I can whip something up. Or better yet, not need it.

      But I just researched whether I can own a monkey, and in my local area, no, because they are classified as "Controlled Alien Species." Which is ironic, considering who was here first...

Strange Sight

       At 4:30 this morning, I saw...fireflies! Lots and lots of fireflies. At first I thought they were moths, because of the streetlamp, but even when they flew away from it, they were glowing and blinking. Definitely fireflies. Or embers, but since we didn't ignite, my vote's with the bugs. Maybe they liked the rain, which it hasn't done for awhile (and yes, I am complaining).
      I just wanted to watch for hours. They were circling the streetlamp, and it looked like a snow globe from Hell. I just want to see those little guys all the time. Last time I saw them, I was probably seven years old, and now...well, I'm old!

      They're beautiful, but I'm also glad my butt doesn't glow. On the other hand (or cheek, I should say) it does mean I'll never be the light of someone's life....

...

       Still going to the park. Still a disappointment every time, but I have to try.... To get exercise apparently, time in the sun, because at least that's possible....
      I've been sequestered at home for weeks because of the bears. When I go out there I'm at a point where if I see one, I'm hoping it eats me, but until I leave the house I am nervous. About a week ago seven bears were spotted in a day, and five of them beside my house. Today and yesterday I just got dressed and I went. Then to the store, today to the park.

      All that waiting, and it was just fine. I literally sat there thinking, "If I leave now, I'll get loud vehicles right in my ear," and I sure as shit did. I went to the park where it's nice and quiet, and that is where I got a headache. Not here, where all the noisy vehicles come to, but in nature.

      Whatever. I'm home now. I think I'm just going to play some Sims 3, from which I took a hefty break and got back into The Sims 2 until it glitched.... It's always been so reliable, I didn't think it could. At least not that badly.

      And I'm friendless again. Cut my newest out when he said, "You're so different from your picture (which was unedited and which he called beautiful), I thought I was being pranked." F you, buddy.

      But I'm realizing that I don't want people, maybe even more than I do want them. It's been too long. 33 years without anybody I can count on, and now I get anxious if someone thanks me for holding the door. I think I need to go live in the bush, learn how to defend myself, and just not be near humans. We are a horrible race. Of course, if I do that, I can't write my horrible books, or play my boring games.

      Oh, one last thing. Cops found a burnt body in the park. I don't go to that one much, but I could have seen it.

Facebook

       Just crawled out from under my rock to complain. Facebook's been pissing me off. Like it's not bad enough that it changes my entries―somehow―but it also changes my name pronunciation. So one minute I'm Kimberly. And the next, I'm Keem-bar-Leia. Think I'm just going to remove it so no one thinks my parents were high when I was born.

Self-Torture

       I used to think things just happened. Sometimes there was a reason, sometimes not. Lately I can't get it out of my mind that everything we do has influence. I go for walks a lot, and all I can think is, if I turn left, I might meet someone who could finally be my first true, actual friend. But if I turn right, I could get struck by a car. And if I go to the park, I could get bitten by a dog. But if I circle the block, I could find some money. I can think of the result as my best decision or my own stupid fault.
      I cannot stop thinking about cause and effect. It's in my head every time I put on my coat.

...

       It's fun knowing a person who has no clue about AI. Last week my brother made a video where Trump warns America not to let him into the US because he's dangerous. My mother flipped out. "What did you do? How did you piss off the president?!"

      Big eyes. Open-mouthed. The works. The only thing missing was a recording camera.

      Like, okay, let's be real. Does everything need to be AI? No. Am I getting a little sick of it? Yes. But come on, it can be useful. Only reason it's not is because humans are living wrong. You want a robot, then create one that clips your toenails. Calendar on my phone? Nothing I can do with it. Boom, create something that tells you where you put your phone, or your remote control. We don't need a look-alike of any celebrity we want, saying our words. We need useful AI that actually has benefits.

      And it could, if humans could focus less on entertainment and more about evolution. And when I say humans, apparently I mean scientists. We have fridges that automatically make ice; why did good ideas stop there?