So I've given it minimal thought, and come up with what I would do with my money if, and only if, I got the job. I would hire a publisher, and go on vacation. Not like I've already planned the destination, but I've never gone on vacation before. I went to see my brother and we went to the beach in that time, but the whole time I stood in the water I could have cried from the pain. Stupid feet. I don't know why, but it often feels like somebody is pushing needles into the bottoms of them. One of the friends I thought I had said it might be peripheral neuropathy. Nerve damage.
It would be so cool to put my name out there. My real name, not more of this username crap. It's been a long time since I was 15. Maybe I ought to change it again; here at least, and Fanfiction, too. Can't afford to change it on deviantART. Usernames, and viewing statistics by the way, should be free. It's sufficient that it's a platform where people can sell art―real or fake! If I was a "deceptive little parasite," I just might put a price tag on stuff I didn't make, too.
Hm. A pen name... Oh, the possibilities! The vacation might have to wait; I've wanted to be an author much longer, and much more. Unless it's where all the celebrities are made. I have always wanted to be an actress. Not even so much for the pay, but for the people. Not to mention I could laugh at others' mistakes without being called a b*, and even if I am completely unlovable, someone might be hired to act as my friend. A real one. Maybe they could even say something incredible, like, "I need to talk about this with her first," or, "I'm your dad and I'm a terrible human being and I'm sorry."
It would totally rock to get paid to find closure and hear words I'll never hear otherwise. And yeah, meet people. Somebody. You know, I'm not even sure about this whole thing. It's exciting to think about, but I'd have to ride with somebody I cannot stand. And if I have to stay there for several weeks, or a month, and he stays, too... I don't know if I could keep being civil. God, his laugh sounds like a bouncy ball that got trapped under a chair. And I'm not mocking him; he chooses to laugh this way. It's not a belly laugh, it's a dry, sour, completely humorless, "He...he...he...hehehehehe" that goes on for ten seconds. You could say the funniest damn thing in the world, he'll do that bouncy ball laugh, no expression on his face.
He also talked about my boobs and wants to touch me all the time. I really just want to slap him away like a child trying to take too many cookies, or worse, take mine. Hehe.
I guess I'll have to ask if he'd drop us off. And if he doesn't, maybe I need to put up with it. I really want things to change, but a chance is a hard thing to come by. Plus I'd be cleaning rooms and he'd be fishing or whatever, so maybe I wouldn't need to deal with him too much.
This bright side thing is really weird.
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