Low Point

       Well, I'm not excited anymore. It's hard to feel anything good when you can only sleep for two hours, max, and can only alternate between dreaming that you're being chased by bears, or dreaming that you just traveled five hours to get back to where you were. Today it took me until after 8 AM to fall asleep, and yes, I did wake up just one potty break ago. I dreamt that I hung out at my sister-in-law's house, we got in the car, did the five-hour drive, and got out at my sister-in-law's house. She said she wanted to go home right away, got pissed at my brother for not seeming interested at all, and then began to cough up these impossible, huge things from her lungs. A small towel and an egg carton, if I recall.
      That's where I woke up. Dream number two, I dream that I woke up to tell my family about the first dream, while standing in my sister-in-law's house. Dream number three, I dream that I dreamt that I woke up to tell my family.

      Confusing, right? Dream number four, Andrea accidentally seduces Milton because she used a mannequin's severed hand to point at her body. Don't ask me why, though it's not like anyone's here except those who will report my blog for things it does not contain, but it is the second Walking Dead dream I've had in two days. Not the second one I've had, ever, but I'll take a field of zombies over one more Möbius strip dream.

    I'm starting to miss the nightmares; at least they went somewhere exciting. I'm also starting to wish I'd said no to the best trip of my life. I got to try new foods, see new creatures, and we went to the beach. I've wanted a trip like that for, gee, thirty years, but I couldn't enjoy it. Had a little problem with my foot. Sometimes I get this cramp that feels like someone is shoving a long, jagged piece of wood through it, and when I took my shoes off to wade in the rocky water, oh my god, it hurt so much. Those things were a lot more fun in my childhood.

    I wanted that for so long. Now I just want to take it back. Mean-while, we have children outside calling out, "Ice cream, one dollar!" and I have to sit here and listen to my family complain, "I'm going to hear that in my sleep."

    Big deal. I'd love to have a dream about ice cream and happy children. My poor, poor family. The only reason they're not yelling at me right now for having such a bad attitude is this blog! In retrospect, might want to use it more.

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       I wonder how long it'll be before I stop being excited that I recently got a game account back. I'd been locked out of it for about two years. Not only is everything still there, but the game is different. They actually added shiny clothes and items. I changed my girl's look right away. Nothing beats how she did look, but change is sometimes good. Anyway, now I can finally keep working on getting past level 39. I should probably be level 50 by now...

      Today, I finally got more than two hours of sleep. Four! Best part is, I had a cool dream; that I was playing a supernatural Super Mario Brothers. I'd totally play it if it came out, and they should call it Supernatural Mario. I mean, duh. Anyway, there were these new zombie enemies that could reach out and grab you. Mario was a terrible jumper and very slow with his tail, but he could grab a block and carry them. He could reach up and grab a block, he could kneel and grab, and the idea was to seal off the walkers and build your way to the top.

      It was so cool. He even blinked the first time a character walked through him, and then leaped off the screen when he died. It was awesome! Like a mix of Super Mario, Minecraft, and The Walking Dead.

Untitled

       I recently dreamt that I was at the mall again, this time with the entire freaking cast of Walking Dead. Magna was going to steal from me and Yumiko was going to stop her. Also dreamt that I got engaged inside my very own prison cell; kind of bizarre. It looked akin to the dungeon level in 007: Agent Under Fire.

An Other Another Late Entry

      I had my weirdest dream yesterday or maybe the day before. House and Chase, who are straight in the show, were being intimate. At least trying to be, but Chase was flatulent, kind of spoiled the mood. Oh, and I found a note I wrote myself in 2021 as a "reminder"; I've seen green headlights and a skateboard with a single wheel going through the middle. If I hadn't seen another today, I'd have forgotten to add that. Now I can throw that note away.
      Apart from that, nothing really different. I've gone out a lot this week. Mailed a package, did my taxes, went to the bank. That was supposed to be one efficient outing, not three. Today alone, I went up and down about 111 stairs. Without the shortcut we took through the school and the stairs at Community Services, it's still about 75 stairs per trip. The most exercise in a week I've ever gotten. My next most comparable day is when I did 100 situps, which was likely in 2009.

      I could work out more. Hell, I guess it's the only thing I can afford to do. Financially, anyway. Certainly not physically. Two slices of pizza for six dollars; now that I can do! I was hoping to do pizza tonight and invite a friend over for dinner and games, but we're having this cheesy, oniony hot dog stuff instead. So maybe tomorrow, even though it's a lot less convenient.

      And other than that... Well, my hair has reached my goal. So now I can choose between cutting it or setting a new goal. Took me just five years to grow it from my chin to below my hips. I go out and people feel the need to talk about it. It's great. I finally have something on my body I can take pride in.

      My family has just turned on Married With Children, so I'm outta here. I so wish I could have my computer in my room. Not for blogging reasons. I've now run out of things to say.

Finally, An Awesome Dream

      I guess it can still happen; today, I did not dream about homicide and children being ripped apart by animals. Or my criminal step-father—yay! The weird part is, I had this dream many years ago. It featured the same girl I never met. Her name was Paige.

      Like before, she had long, wavy, light brown hair and a huge smile. She was doing all the same things, all the same way. I guess I am getting ahead of myself. I meet her inside a mall, which gets closed while a lot of people, including myself, are inside. But the dream starts inside a crappy little house filled with bugs, and my grandmother's things. Things I haven't seen for almost 20 years, things that were promised to me after her passing. The world's ugliest chair, with wooden knobs poking out of the arm rests and little barns and farm animals all over. Her rocking chair, dresses. Et cetera.

      The house had rafters, too; so it was actually pretty barn-like. I remember looking at the window and seeing a bus go by. Then I come up these stairs, and find my grandmother's things. I'm going through them, and the dream is practically on mute. Like there's a reverent silence or something; kind of out of character for me, not going to lie. Anyway, I'm kneeling, and somebody else comes up the stairs, sees my leg on the floor and runs over, concerned for my welfare and actually saying my name. I can't remember if this person is male or female, so I'll do something I hate and refer to this person as them. God, I hate that so much. Anyway, I ask them if they will be keeping them safe forever, they say yes, and I just hug them and accept it (again, very out of character; I guess in my dreams, I'm nice or something). Because at least I know the possessions are safe.

      Okay, now I'm at the mall. It's so crazy detailed. I'm shopping and hating it, but taking my time; that's actually perfectly in character. I'm supposed to be with a group, but they're not waiting for me and I don't care, good riddance to anyone who wants me to rush. I'll freaking walk home at my speed. I'm looking at PS4s, GameCubes, even movies. I'm seeing Logan, and it's actually got Hugh Jackman on the cover. It's crazy detailed. There's lights, cleaners, other people shopping in every direction. That's when I get to the end and think I'm locked in for the night, my group is locked out. Whatever, I don't care; they've got bathrooms, the people who serve food are in there, I'm starting to think it's April Fool's and the workers have reached their capacity for imagination. Or they're exceeding it.

      Then Paige and her family wave me over, and ta-da, the other end of the mall is wide open. Maybe they really are closing, and they just can't get all the doors at once. But now, I find it in my heart to hurry. We get outside the mall, and all of a sudden I'm Brooke Nevin. I guess all that shopping went to my head.

      I'm even leaving stuff out, like the part where I give Paige and her mother a necklace. Keep in mind I have no idea now if they were mine, my grandmother's, or if I shoplifted them both.

      I've been dreaming of actors a lot lately. The man who told me the mall was closed, for one. And yesterday, I dreamt that I was floating in zero gravity with Howard and Bernadette. Go figure. It has been so bloody long since I watched Big Bang Theory!

      But normally, I fall asleep for a few minutes at a time and wake up if I roll over. This sleep, which took me two hours, was actually enough. I feel capable of doing what I have to do. Which is good. Because the buses aren't running anymore, and I have to do a lot of walking tomorrow. I'm considering not even talking to my friends. Just get home, bathe in Purell, and hope my heart doesn't explode. Or my lungs don't collapse. Or my throat doesn't close. Damn those buses.

      Negan appears the most. I guess he's the man of my dreams. 😄

Yippee, Skippy

      I have less than an hour left of being 29. On Friends, the characters freak out on their 30th birthdays and I'm just not seeing what the big deal is. I doubt it'll freak me out in 50 minutes. I have always had a hard time feeling emotion, and it's been getting worse.

7th Hell

       On the seventh, I'm guessing, I just wanted to sleep. Instead, I had to go on a short-notice shopping trip. We live in a very hilly area, with a slanted driveway and two flights of steps. It's hell, especially with my heart and lungs. Actually I did sleep, just long enough to have a nightmare; and again it involved a firetruck crashing. This time I was a firefighter, too; and I arrived on scene to find a firetruck on its side. Two people were attempting to push it back up onto its wheels. Then, because four people couldn't do the trick, I got fired and I was just glad to be done with that job. Never actually had a job; but I'm an incredibly lucid dreamer and I've been playing a lot of Sims 3 Ambitions... Take from that what you will.

      Anywho, when we got back from the store, I went to sleep for awhile. Woke up at dinnertime and went to the washroom looking forward to having my nice hot chicken. Came out, and it was all gone! They didn't leave me a single bite; they didn't even refrigerate my portion. How fucked up is that? I paid $220 for groceries and didn't even get a cold meal.

      I'm a vindictive person. I'm thinking about drinking all the special, pulpy orange juice and then asking them if they wanted any.