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       I have to go to a birthday dinner tomorrow. It'll be the first time I'm at a restaurant in months, and a fancy one with menus in over a decade. I'm really not looking forward to it; I wonder if I can stay home; unfortunately people have this weird inclination to celebrate being another year closer to death. Don't worry, I didn't put that on the card; although there are cards like that. Blame Hallmark.

     I hate this guy. I mean I really hate him. I also hate the miscon-ception that you can't hate someone without loving them. Makes no sense. Love is love, and hate is hate. You can hate someone you used to love. You can be angry at someone you still love. But you can't hate and love someone at the same time. You can't go from, "I wish you'd die" to "I still love you" in five seconds. It's just not possible, unless you're mentally unstable.

     And what's the deal with "Money can't buy happiness"? That person was clearly spoiled rotten; no bills to pay, no shelves to stock, Mommy and Daddy took care of everything. Sleep on the floor and share half a package of stale crackers and then tell me money can't buy happiness. Douche.

      I think people who come up with sayings need to stop playing philosopher and take some pills. Life isn't a poem, it's not a river, it's not a highway, not a bowl of cherries or a box of chocolates. It's a race to the finish line. Or, as Cain so eloquently said, it's an "eternal wasteland of meaningless existence. A dark void staring down at you like a beaten dog scrounging on the side of the road just waiting to get mowed down by the next tsunami of crap."

      Not Shakespeare, but eloquent all the more.

    F**k. I hate birthdays. Maybe if I didn't get a migraine on mine every year. Always punctuated, of course, by "Happy birthday to you," which oddly enough, sounds miserable. Lucifer, The Big Bang Theory. They all sound so...dead. Isn't it supposed to be a celebration? Instead it sounds like the song you hear as you walk to your empty grave. Seriously, Google it if you don't know the scenes. At least in Liar Liar, they sound alright; some people actually hit that high note.

      Life certainly seems like it was better 30+ years ago. I often hear these wild, crazy tales of when music and dance flooded the streets...