Huh....

       Not sure about my health lately. If I have the audacity to skip a meal, which I was used to, I start trembling like I have Tourette's (which really does sound like a group of females touring a city), and every single time I stand up, my ears start to ring.

      And my mother thinks she might have an ulcer. I set money aside for her birthday, but I'm contemplating turning it into emergency taxi fares for both of us.

What Goes Up...

       I was so excited months ago to get a streaming TV, but it didn't last long. I used to have my own credit card, which didn't last long either; the bank decided to tell me, "Your Visa isn't a Visa card," whatever the hell that means, so it got canceled even though I was responsible with it. So....when I got the streaming TV, I had to rely on someone else's card, my brother's. Recently he got hacked, canceled everything, and didn't order a new one. So my streaming TV is pretty much a regular one, with access to YouTube and Roku.
      I'm glad they're there; I just didn't get to explore very much, and now I can't. I could try to get a new card myself, but I kinda feel like they're out to get me. "Not a Visa card," what the hell does that even mean? Okay, can I use it for gym membership? Gift card, maybe?
      Ridiculous. All those people abusing their cards get to hold on to them, but me, they cut. Yeah, great choice, guys.
      So far, in all those months, all those shows I did check out, I only found one that I love. Surprise, it's one I thought I would hate for its downgrade in graphics; Puss In Boots: The Last Wish. I admit, I've become sort of obsessed with it. I'm downloading it right now because...well, I want to see if it works, obviously! I did give it a negative review in the past, but I may have changed it to a glowing one. I should probably check that. Oh, it's such a cute movie. Antonio Banderas reprises his role as Puss In Boots, who has fearlessly adventured his way down to his last life, and Death decides, "I'm going to teach him a lesson," so he frightens him all the way into slowing down and appreciating what he has. It's so good. Really, I was binging it and reactions of it, and it still hasn't gotten old. So my new favorite ascending order of the Shrek World is, Shrek The Third sucks, but it may be better than Shrek 5, which I hope is better than the train wreck it appears to be. Then Shrek 1, which is perfectly alright and very rewatchable. Then the original Puss In Boots movie, then Shrek 2, which is pretty amazing, especially the detail of the beads on Fiona's dress. Then Shrek 4 and The Last Wish take the completely-destroyed-out-of-irritation cake! I can't even choose between Warrior Fiona and Death.
      Of course, it doesn't impact the order of my marathons; Puss In Boots, Shrek 1, Shrek 2, Shrek 4, and The Last Wish, omitting Shrek 3 and very likely omitting Shrek 5 as well. But that's a marathon; I will watch any one of those by itself if the mood strikes.
      Woohoo! My download is over halfway. Taking awhile, but if it works, it's worth it. And if I can put it to DVD, well, I'll be "sitting on top of the world."
      I saw a reaction video to Toy Story 5, which also seems like unwatchable drivel. I think I will watch it again in its uninterrupted entirety before I make my final judgment. Guess I owe Shrek 5 that much. And with how stubborn I initially was with The Last Wish, who knows? Maybe I'll grow to love them, too. Seems unlikely, but 24 years of being a Shrekkie deserves less than 2 hours of my time.

ETA (4:09 AM): HOLY CRAP IT WORKED!!!

Not Good!

       I'm kind of pissed right now. I live in this little apartment-like building, and there have only been two decent neighbors in the past decade. The first one took off a long time ago, and now the other one is leaving. And our slumlord has illegally allowed someone to move into the building, who wants her unit. This squatter has been talking to the other tenants, who want her to "break in and take it" because Neighbor is well within her rights to stay until October.

      Neighbor needs Lawyer, that's what she needs. The reason I'm pissed is because the other neighbors have no lives, so they're constantly poking their noses into ours. "How did you sleep last night? What did you buy today? Got any plans? What's for dinner? Have you lost weight?" That would be annoying enough, but I recently learned that they talk sh!t about us behind our backs, and now they're slandering us to Squatter, turning her against us before she's even a legal tenant.... It's so frustrating. They even have her convinced that one of the neighbors, Bob (I don't care about him enough to protect his privacy), is the property manager who oversees everything and gives orders to the rest of us.

      No, dear. The landlord is the property manager.

      They have her thinking my brother is useless, when he plows the driveway so well, everybody gives praise. Well, she'll see for herself when he's out there working his ass off and everybody she trusts are useless. That is, if he still does them the favor after how they've treated him; I say snow them in.

      I am so tired of douchebags like these. 2018 or whatever, Bob seemed like a decent human being. When we went to court fighting another neighbor, he was there. He was frustrated and fed up, too; now he's part of the problem and behaving just like him. I don't know if he drank too much and his last lonely brain cell drowned, but he changed.

      The neighbor that's moving away, they had her turned against us too, in the beginning. Then she regretted ever listening to them and started hanging around us, even showing me the respect of using my full name, the first person in history to be stubborn about granting my super simple wish. Didn't think much of her at first, and now she's someone we can wish was still here. I just hope it's not too late by the time Squatter realizes she has it all backwards.

      This is what happens when you fly blind. Even as I write this, more damn drama is happening. Why can't these so-called grownups shut up and just observe, and maybe learn something? It's fine to get a second opinion at the hospital; God forbid you do it anywhere else....

...

       I have to go to a birthday dinner tomorrow. It'll be the first time I'm at a restaurant in months, and a fancy one with menus in over a decade. I'm really not looking forward to it; I wonder if I can stay home; unfortunately people have this weird inclination to celebrate being another year closer to death. Don't worry, I didn't put that on the card; although there are cards like that. Blame Hallmark.

     I hate this guy. I mean I really hate him. I also hate the miscon-ception that you can't hate someone without loving them. Makes no sense. Love is love, and hate is hate. You can hate someone you used to love. You can be angry at someone you still love. But you can't hate and love someone at the same time. You can't go from, "I wish you'd die" to "I still love you" in five seconds. It's just not possible, unless you're mentally unstable.

     And what's the deal with "Money can't buy happiness"? That person was clearly spoiled rotten; no bills to pay, no shelves to stock, Mommy and Daddy took care of everything. Sleep on the floor and share half a package of stale crackers and then tell me money can't buy happiness. Douche.

      I think people who come up with sayings need to stop playing philosopher and take some pills. Life isn't a poem, it's not a river, it's not a highway, not a bowl of cherries or a box of chocolates. It's a race to the finish line. Or, as Cain so eloquently said, it's an "eternal wasteland of meaningless existence. A dark void staring down at you like a beaten dog scrounging on the side of the road just waiting to get mowed down by the next tsunami of crap."

      Not Shakespeare, but eloquent all the more.

    F**k. I hate birthdays. Maybe if I didn't get a migraine on mine every year. Always punctuated, of course, by "Happy birthday to you," which oddly enough, sounds miserable. Lucifer, The Big Bang Theory. They all sound so...dead. Isn't it supposed to be a celebration? Instead it sounds like the song you hear as you walk to your empty grave. Seriously, Google it if you don't know the scenes. At least in Liar Liar, they sound alright; some people actually hit that high note.

      Life certainly seems like it was better 30+ years ago. I often hear these wild, crazy tales of when music and dance flooded the streets...

EDIT: Thank god. I didn't have to go to a restaurant. Still did the birthday dinner, and it was alright. I think I can find a way past my hatred after all.