I guess it can still happen; today, I did not dream about homicide and children being ripped apart by animals. Or my criminal step-father—yay! The weird part is, I had this dream many years ago. It featured the same girl I never met. Her name was Paige.
Like before, she had long, wavy, light brown hair and a huge smile. She was doing all the same things, all the same way. I guess I am getting ahead of myself. I meet her inside a mall, which gets closed while a lot of people, including myself, are inside. But the dream starts inside a crappy little house filled with bugs, and my grandmother's things. Things I haven't seen for almost 20 years, things that were promised to me after her passing. The world's ugliest chair, with wooden knobs poking out of the arm rests and little barns and farm animals all over. Her rocking chair, dresses. Et cetera.
The house had rafters, too; so it was actually pretty barn-like. I remember looking at the window and seeing a bus go by. Then I come up these stairs, and find my grandmother's things. I'm going through them, and the dream is practically on mute. Like there's a reverent silence or something; kind of out of character for me, not going to lie. Anyway, I'm kneeling, and somebody else comes up the stairs, sees my leg on the floor and runs over, concerned for my welfare and actually saying my name. I can't remember if this person is male or female, so I'll do something I hate and refer to this person as them. God, I hate that so much. Anyway, I ask them if they will be keeping them safe forever, they say yes, and I just hug them and accept it (again, very out of character; I guess in my dreams, I'm nice or something). Because at least I know the possessions are safe.
Okay, now I'm at the mall. It's so crazy detailed. I'm shopping and hating it, but taking my time; that's actually perfectly in character. I'm supposed to be with a group, but they're not waiting for me and I don't care, good riddance to anyone who wants me to rush. I'll freaking walk home at my speed. I'm looking at PS4s, GameCubes, even movies. I'm seeing Logan, and it's actually got Hugh Jackman on the cover. It's crazy detailed. There's lights, cleaners, other people shopping in every direction. That's when I get to the end and think I'm locked in for the night, my group is locked out. Whatever, I don't care; they've got bathrooms, the people who serve food are in there, I'm starting to think it's April Fool's and the workers have reached their capacity for imagination. Or they're exceeding it.
Then Paige and her family wave me over, and ta-da, the other end of the mall is wide open. Maybe they really are closing, and they just can't get all the doors at once. But now, I find it in my heart to hurry. We get outside the mall, and all of a sudden I'm Brooke Nevin. I guess all that shopping went to my head.
I'm even leaving stuff out, like the part where I give Paige and her mother a necklace. Keep in mind I have no idea now if they were mine, my grandmother's, or if I shoplifted them both.
I've been dreaming of actors a lot lately. The man who told me the mall was closed, for one. And yesterday, I dreamt that I was floating in zero gravity with Howard and Bernadette. Go figure. It has been so bloody long since I watched Big Bang Theory!
But normally, I fall asleep for a few minutes at a time and wake up if I roll over. This sleep, which took me two hours, was actually enough. I feel capable of doing what I have to do. Which is good. Because the buses aren't running anymore, and I have to do a lot of walking tomorrow. I'm considering not even talking to my friends. Just get home, bathe in Purell, and hope my heart doesn't explode. Or my lungs don't collapse. Or my throat doesn't close. Damn those buses.
Negan appears the most. I guess he's the man of my dreams. 😄
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