Monday, April 24, 2017

...

      I went out again today. Silverdale Creek. It's nice, got some more pictures. Coming back I saw the farm I called home for a decade...It's not so nice. The barn collapsed, the roof is actually touching the ground on one side. The walls are all lopsided and broken. Fourteen years ago there was one gate, on the driveway. Now there's that, plus a gate in front of both houses. And there's no animals. No dogs, no sheep, no horses.
      I'll never get over that place. It's still home to me, and seeing it like that breaks my heart. I hope nobody was injured when the barn fell.
      I still have so many memories about that place. It's impossible not to look back.

12 comments:

  1. Aww, so sorry to hear that! The farm was one of the coolest places we ever lived; I felt like that was the place where I became sentient — until we lived there, I was just going through the motions, not really aware of anyone else; I feel like I grew up pretty suddenly there. It was also beautiful. I think that for the sake of sanity, I'm going to remember the farm the way it used to be, just as I don't think of Grandma's house the way Uncle D. 'redecorated' it.

    There's a cabin a few hours from here (have to drive through solid wilderness to get to it, on a dirt road that's little more than two tire tracks) that we went to when I was fairly new to living here, so naturally it's a very special place — it doesn't have electricity or running water; it's basically just a bunk bed and some things people have left for others to use (we left food for the next guys). Anyone can get in and use the place; it's kind of an honour-system thing that you clean up after yourself and leave something useful for others. It might not sound like a fancy place ... and it's not, which was why I loved it. Last time we went back, someone had ruined the porch and shot the chimney full of holes. It was so depressing.

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    1. Oh, I'm sorry. People can be so awful. That kind of cabin sounds nice (before it got shot up); I get all excited whenever the power goes out because it controls the modern person, and I have a taste for the old world.
      I feel that way, too. I saw the wedding VHS a few years back, and I did things I have zero recollection doing. I see pictures where I'm all dolled up or wearing the weirdest outfits ever, and up until the farm it's all one big blur. I remember houses sometimes. The den with the glass doors, the big crystal chandelier. How close we lived to the park where I broke my thumb. But I don't remember being. I do remember the pain of a broken bone, of course, and like I said, some flashes of past homes, but not much else. Honestly, my earliest two memories are having bronchitis on my fourth birthday and skinning my knees when I fell off my tricycle.

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    2. So do I! It seems to be the only way to get people to shut the darned machines off (unless they have cell phones ... I like when those idiots walk into fountains). :D

      My earliest memories are of strange things like discovering my own hand (weird, I know, but Baby-Me was fascinated by this thing I could see and control!) and Mom telling one of our brothers off for opening the front door (I assume to go out for a smoke) while she was changing my diaper because she didn't want me to get cold. I have a lot of memories from when I was two or three years old and onwards; I remember playing with one of those baby toys with the dangly things on it (the toy looks like a swing set with mirrors and other things hanging from it) ... things get clearer after those early memories, but I wasn't conscious of people as beings with thoughts and feelings until I was 13 or so; it just didn't occur to me that they would have them. At that point, my life changed; how I saw people ... around that same time I more or less stopped talking and leaving the house :p

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    3. I'm assuming you saw the same video I did. :D
      Wow! I wish my memory was that good. Well, sort of. Some thoughts are best left forgotten, I'm sure. I think all babies are fascinated by their own hands. Have you ever watched baby videos on YouTube? One of my favorites will always be the laughing quadruplets.

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    4. It's been a long time since I watched baby videos; the last one I saw (you might remember it) was of the baby breastfeeding, and it pretty much stretched some poor mom's nipple out like crazy. I've been nervous about watching baby videos since them - especially since so many people think it's funny to make a video of baby barf. Eew!

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    5. I do remember that. How horrible is that? It practically ruined milk for me; I didn't touch it for like a year. And not just for the stretchy nippe, but because baby barf looks milky. Oh, God, I'm grossing myself out.

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    6. lol, babies are gross; I want to have kids one day (I think) but I want to skip the whole first year, maybe two. Kids get cute between two and five, at which point they start school and get more interesting ... so being a mom could be fun, but I still want to skip the baby stuff :p

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    7. Babies can't help being gross. Kids, on the other hand, with their sticky fingers and snotty noses, gross me out. Especially when they want to touch my face.

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    8. Eew! Remember that kid from the Zelda game? :D He was so gross, I always ran past him as fast as I could get Link to go :p

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    9. That kid is so disgusting I actually avoid that part of the island. I swim to the tree house, run all the way across that long bridge and stay up on the cliff where he can't reach.

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    10. lol, I like to avoid him too, if he bounces off me I jump into the ocean to clean up :p

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    11. I know it's just graphics, but I do that, too.

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