Saturday, May 6, 2017

...

      Had a pretty good day. The weather was nice, we had ham-burgers for dinner, I played some Sims 3, watched a lot of The Walking Dead. I even finally washed my hair. It had been too long. Unfortunately, once in awhile I find it hard to care about anything. It all seems so trivial sometimes. I said once that the monotony in my life was ludicrous, and that hasn't changed much. I still haven't run through the tide barefoot, or lay on a trampoline looking up at the stars. I haven't done anything of the most value to me. My days run in an endless circle. I've been to the ocean once - when I was a toddler. I remember some of it, but most of that day is gone. I didn't even enjoy it; that much I know. The ground was rocky and it was hot. It wasn't what I would call relaxing.
      I went to Kamloops once or twice. The drive seems to get shorter the more you go. I remember walking with my cousin Heather, looking up at these amazing mansions with pools and porches and outdoor furniture. I remember her house, and being afraid of her dog. Hell, I remember when I jumped up on my school desk because I was afraid of my classmate's goat (it was show-and-tell). I remember when my neighbor Taylor accidentally dragged me into the ditch and I got a broken thumb. I remember my neighbors Keisha and Elisha catching bugs with me, skipping rope with me, trying to stay with me even when we had different classrooms. I remember...my Asian friends teaching me Marco Polo in a dark bedroom because we were all afraid of water, following a stray cat, playing outdoors until I got dizzy and had to take a break and they were still outside waiting for me when I recovered. God, I miss them so much.
      That's what life should be about. Having a hell of a good time, laughing until you get dizzy, and then getting up and laughing even harder. I used to do that.
      How can friendships just die the way they do? I blame time. Time and distance. You move away and you forget. Until you rem-ember. I wonder if they look back from time to time. I hope they do. I hope they remember my name.

22 comments:

  1. Didn't you break your thumb when we lived at Bluejay? Dad said you hurt it at the park, but we didn't know it was so bad until you went to the dentist the next day and they say how discoloured it was (according to Mom). Actually, I know it was Bluejay because I have a lot of memories of that house, and definite memories of your splint! :p I think I was actually jealous that you were first to break a bone, plus you'd been the first to get a black eye (I still haven't). :p

    I don't remember those friends at all ... wow :p

    That is what life is about! I hope you experience it all :)

    I guess I'm lucky I don't miss having friends ... :s

    You can talk to me, though, if you want; I know it's not the same and I almost never have anything to say, but I do listen :)

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    1. Yes, but I broke many a bone in my childhood. My last injury was when we were moving into this house, and it still hasn't really healed. But I remember the park break, too. And I very much remember the black eye. Well, both of them. Trust me, there's nothing to be jealous of.
      I always want to talk to you. Making friends is easy when you're a kid. Someone asks if you want to be friends and from that point on you're inseparable, but it seems the more mature one becomes, the less capable they are of hanging onto friendships. They stab you in the back. Honestly? Who needs friends when I have my family?

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    2. lol, I remember that, mostly because I got a weird look from another kid last time I said it - I guess we were getting too old to say it :p

      That's the way I think about it, too; family is way better than friends :p

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    3. Last time I said it was at a school event kind of thing, and I wanted to be friends with that Sarah Eaton. She shot me down because I still liked to play. Gasp! What a crime, for a...ten-year-old.

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    4. lol, I remember hating her; I had friends until she came to school. But a lot of kids at that school were jerks.

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    5. Like Georgia. I bumped into her at Superstore a few years back and she was a totally different person. She seemed nice. Looking back I swear she was also my classmate in the first or second grade. I think she was the kid who said "Sawan-wap" and gave me the People Like Me book.

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    6. Well, grade seven was a long time ago; everyone's changed - there are just some I thought would be asses forever. :p

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    7. Except I never made it into grade seven. Actually, I remember telling Georgia I was in the third or fourth grade, so maybe I repeated a class; because there are a lot of years between Sawan-wap and Hatzic.

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    8. lol, at Hatzic Elementary, I was in grades 7/8 (we were there for about two years, plus a few extra months before we started homeschooling), I think, so I was 12 or 13; you'd have been in grades 6/7, 11-12 years old, I think. I was definitely in grade 5 in Vanderhoof, so you'd have been grade 4 then. :)

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    9. Well, whatever. The past is in the past; I'm just glad I have some of those memories.
      Actually, Hatzic Elementary has changed a lot. The playground has been moved to the front right side, and they cut down the tree stump I always retreated to during recess.

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    10. Aw, man, I hate it when they change things :(

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    11. Me, too. I really don't understand the point of relocating a playground. Maybe the original is still there and they needed a second. It's impossible to see the back while just driving by.
      I do have recollection of the two of us taking buses to school, sitting with our friends, and walking all the way home. Or maybe we just had a long driveway.

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    12. We never walked to that school; it was much too far away, plus we'd have had to follow the highway and there were wild animals, so no one would have let us. I know I walked with Mom and sometimes Lorne to kindergarten (at least two different schools) and grade 1, but after that we were mostly driven or taking buses to/from - though, at Hatzic, if I remember right, we took the bus to school and Mom drove us home; I think it was because it faster that way - we were at the end of the bus route in the morning, so it was a quick trip to school, but if we'd taken the bus home it would take much longer because a bunch of other kids would be dropped off first. :p

      We did have a long driveway though, unpaved with a gate about three-quarters of the way up it and the slough running beneath :p

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    13. No, this was before the farm. We were five and six, maybe. I remember us walking a long way alone. Maybe Lorne was ahead of us, or behind us, but he wasn't beside us.
      I do remember waiting at the end of the driveway at the farm, waiting for the #2 bus. I'm pretty sure we would yell toward the house to test our echoes. Good times, except for when it was cold outside.

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    14. Well, we did a lot of walking whenever we didn't have a car or couldn't afford the bus, so maybe you're thinking of one of those times ... until memory-sharing is invented, I'll never know :p

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    15. Memory-sharing, huh? That has to happen.

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    16. Most of the time, such things scare me ... anything possibly invasive does :p

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    17. Me too. Whenever I would go in for a brain scan - I don't remember which kind - the person there would tell me they could read my thoughts by looking at my brain waves. I would always try to think about kittens.

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    18. I don't think they can really do that, but if someone told me they could read my thoughts, I'd run out of there so fast they'd think I had superpowers (and then they'd be really eager to scan my brain). :p

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    19. Well, if memory-sharing is invented someday, I know a few people who should be forced into having their minds read. Trump, for starters.

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