Today wasn't bad. Went out, got some nice pictures. Except now I'm overwhelmed with this crushing sensation that something horrible and heartbreaking is going to happen. Soon. I can't shake it off and I feel totally alone. I just want to go to bed and cry.
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I hate that feeling, too...I get it sometimes...
ReplyDeleteI hope nothing bad does happen...
Earlier this year, I actually felt like I was going to have some good luck...then we checked the lottery tickets and won $5, lol ...
Maybe you should distract yourself - watch an awesome movie, or maybe take a walk; I usually feel better walking around in the fresh air :)
Mom and I went out yesterday; I'd love to go to the same place. We've also been talking about going back to Hayward (a beach) for about three months now. I hate talking about going some-place when we could just go and do it.
DeleteYes, I've been watching many movies. Listening to many songs. I think that's why I'm depressed; it's all I ever do. I think I need a change of pace. Winning some money would help, especially if it were five grand, or five million. Or...five million five thousand five hundred. That would be spec-tacular.
Winning money is awesome - especially when it's enough to buy something tasty or fun, or both! :p
DeleteI've been listening to music a lot, too; movies are more Geoff's thing, so I'm not often in the mood to watch one; he's usually just had one on anyway...
Talking is way less fun than doing things...mostly :p
I don't know what counts as tasty and fun; in my experience it's always one or the other, which isn't to say I don't enjoy the taste of chocolate.
DeleteOh, and I would also like to say thanks, for introducing me to Future World Music. You were listening to that when you wrote your last dA journal, and I looked them up and have been listening to them ever since. I wanted to say this a few months back, but it kept slipping my mind.
I actually meant that it's nice when there's enough money to buy something tasty and something fun to do - such as, buying lots of chocolate, then buying a movie so you can watch something while you snack :D
DeleteYou're welcome - and thanks to YOU for introducing me to Two Steps from Hell - and to 'Edema Ruh', that song by Nightwish; I know you posted a link to the instrumental on Facebook, but I love the version with the vocals, oddly enough . . .
It's not odd at all; I love the vocalized version, too. Just not the end, where she intentionally lags; that always throws me off.
DeleteOhh! Duh, I should've figured; I'm sorry. Yes, that is nice. I can't even remember when last I was able to buy a movie and a snack; it's normally one or the other. And it's normally a snack. I buy one movie once every two, three years? Maybe?
I introduced you to Two Steps? Wow. Guess I'm doing more than I realize... :D
I thought I was being overly critical about that end bit, when one part of the chorus ("We know the songs the sirens sang") doubles up, like the singer was losing her breath...the song would be fantastic if not for that...
DeleteYeah, same - except I don't really buy anything . . .
Yep, one of your DA journal entries (I think) said you were listening to 'Heart of Courage', so I listened to it, too . . . at first I didn't like it; I liked music you could dance or fight to . . . but now I listen to it almost every day, along with tons of other TSFH songs and similar ones :D
I don't really buy a lot of stuff, either, though I would like to...But you are okay, right? Like you have enough food and medicine?
DeleteI like most types of music. Heart Of Courage is on my MP3. I've tried to put some Future World music on there, too, but it says before I can make a CD, I first have to upgrade, which costs money, which I don't have, so...it sucks. There are only two genres I dislike; country, and Christmas-themed. I can tolerate Shania Twain and Hilary Duff (even if her last name is syn-onymous with butt), but they're far from my favorites. I'm just mostly a metalhead.
Yes, we're okay - it's a bit tight sometimes, but in the 'We can't have everything we want' way rather than the 'We don't have everything we need' way, and I hate to say it, but I've been spoiled, so even the times I don't have what I want depress me now...I'll have to work on that; if I've learned anything it's that things usually just get tougher...
DeleteI still love Rammstein and Nightwish, but I'm definitely learning to like other stuff - Future World Music, Two Steps From Hell, Audiomachine, Megaherz, Blutengel, Taylor Swift (I have no idea how I ended up listening to any of her music; possibly one of those times YouTube decided to autoplay), and older favourites, like Avril Lavigne...and Geoff's gotten me into some other kinds of music, too, older stuff (naturally), like Eddie Money...of course, that's just a TINY sample of the many bands and genres I like; a proper list would be about the length of a typical book chapter! :)
To be depressed when you don't have what you want is only natural. I get that way myself; I'm sure we all do. For me, it's not about being spoiled; not to the extent of getting more than what I want. Basically, if I'm hydrated and eating something that doesn't require any chewing, I'm on a cloud; but there are times I want to be in a different place in life. I plan on changing what I can. All I want in life is to make a small little dent somewhere, a footprint, some kind of mark to show I was here. The small moments of joy are nice, and great while they last, but it's not enough. I want to be remembered somehow. Thought of, in a time far from now. I can even accept that the only way to do that would be to pass on my genes and heritage, and see that they live another lifetime at best.
DeleteThat would definitely be a big list. I can't say I've ever heard of Eddie Money. Or Audiomachine, Megaherz, or Blutengel. (But I'm pretty sure that's German for Blood Angel.)
Something like that, yes... :D
DeleteI know exactly how you feel...it can be very depressing...
Definitely.
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