Sunday, April 26, 2015

A Year Later; I'm Still Here

      Right here, on the first @#$*ing page.
      I'm terrible at doing what I love; even when I try my best. :(
     Maybe I should just throw in the towel and write the plans, but leave the actual writing to somebody with an inch of skill.None of it is turning out at all how I'd hoped. There might be one or two good moments, but that's not enough.
      I want to write something enjoyable, but I just can't think out- side of my own head.

Thursday, April 9, 2015

I Feel Funny

      And all I had to do was read jokes online. Now I know my humor isn't the worst.
      If you want to kill some time and some brain cells, look up cat jokes and go to jokes4us. If you have been told you are NOT funny, read that. You'll be confident again in no time. And, if you submitted one of those jokes, wow. Do not quit your day job. Unless, of course, that is your day job. Then, by all means, quit!

Sunday, April 5, 2015

Pre-PC Purge

       Well, that's the last time I try to watch my Animorphs DVDs. All I wanted to do was watch The Front, the final episode; but my computer just wasn't having it. It screamed, froze, and then crashed. So now, after all my hard work with books and poetry and all my gaming success, it looks like my computer might be given a complete reinstall.
       I hate losing all my work.
       And the real sucky thing is, I'm used to it by now.
       Which doesn't make it suck any less.
     But, I transferred the most important files onto my Flash, in- cluding my backed-up game files; so hopefully even when my com- puter loses everything, I lose nothing. I did everything I could.

Monday, March 30, 2015

That's Pathetic, PC...Really Pathetic.

      My computer is making more noise than lovers. And all I did was play three Facebook games. The inside of the brain was cleaned, too, so it's probably my graphic card - the biggest fear of every financially screwed gamer. Oh well. I have spent most of my life waiting, so there is always the Internet to satisfy my damn urges while I wait for a new one. And no, I don't mean it the same dirty way it sounds.
      We had payday awhile back. Thank goodness. We had a pizza dinner. I also got my hands on some treats: chocolate ice cream with chocolate sauce, and yogurt, and Boost...Oh, and pop and chips! I'd nearly forgotten about those. My bad; I do love them...too much, in fact. I wish, for the five-millionth time, that I could have my sweet tooth extracted. But unfortunately it's just a saying that means I'll crave junk food until I die, fat and happy. Well, fine with me. Who wants to die thin and sad? I don't want to go my entire life denying myself the fatty goodness there is to be had. I deny myself so much already. Love, dangerous fun, even laughter. I have my reasons; but God, I wish I could ignore all my health issues and just be crazy! Even for a day. But no, I have to take all these pills and do nothing that's more exciting than chores, catering to my daily needs and getting the mail. I honestly think I'm going crazy.
      Well, at least when people ignore me, it isn't because I never tried to warn them.
      Been going to bed at 2-ish in the afternoon for awhile now. Sometimes I don't wake up until midnight or later, and sometimes I don't sleep until 2-ish the next afternoon. It makes my family worry, for some reason; but I'm happier than a pig in sh!t because I need all the sleep I can get. But, for some reason, I try to get out of this blue funk because they want me to enjoy my day. Right. Like there's something to take pleasure in. Besides, I like blue. And funk is comforting. It's familiar. It means I can never be disappointed when nothing works out, because it goes exactly how I knew it would. It's the only thing that's been true to me, a constant in my life. Happiness is so deceptive, so betraying. Always stabs you in the back, just like 'friends'.
      And family. Family, too. God, I'm treated like a robotic dog here. "Go for a walk!" "Go have a bath!" "Go fetch something from my room." "Good girl!" And yes, those things are actually said to me. It makes me f**king sick.
      I wish I could express my opinion without having to worry about being kicked out for my vulgarity. And I probably wouldn't be kicked out, but they would never let me forget that I was oh, so hateful - just an insolent little b!tch; the bad child.
      Hahahaha! I'm just so sunshiny, aren't I? Completely not insane. I just need to relax and let my favorite music do its magic. Okay. Block out the world, and smile...

Monday, February 16, 2015

Resurrection All Over The Place

      I was just playing Sims 3 Supernatural. I kept my word and used the Zombification Elixir, but the in-game zombies are boring as hell. They stagger, moan and eat plants (and honestly, it sounds more mechanical than leafy). They can growl at other Sims, but no, they can't bite other Sims. It was a very yawn kind of experience.
      Anyway, I was trying to get my Sim to use the alchemy station; and it happened again where he was teleported by some glitch outside the house. Very annoying. So I thought maybe he should go on down to the elixir consignment shop place; and my deceased Sim was there with her surname in place of her marriage name. In other words, the game took her copy from the Move In Household catalog. I didn't do it myself; I didn't want her there. I don't want a Sim who has died to come back as something that is not a zombie; if I wanted to use that Sim I would have. But suddenly the game is freaking out and choosing to use the Sim-copies by itself?
      Too bizarre. Anyway, what with the alchemy station bug and my dead girl back on her own two feet; I quit the game without saving it, at the cost of three moonstones. Sigh. Hopefully I'll be able to find them when next I play...And hopefully my Move In Household catalog is not spawning copies all over the damn neighborhood, either.

Sunday, February 15, 2015

It's Been A Long, Long Day

      I got up at eleven AM. For some inexplicable reason I'm torturing myself, trying to get back into this ridiculous routine. The idea's not ridiculous; it's probably the best thing for a human, besides diet and caution. But...the feeling it gives me is ridiculous; always leaving me even more exhausted than usual. The burning eyes, the spinning room, the flashing lights, the nausea, the dizziness, the sensation my mind is still asleep while my legs run forth. It gives me the whole package. And yet, I insist that eleven AM is sleeping in. Oh, man, all I want is to sleep the day away like I used to. It was sooo relaxing. Depressing, sure, depressing as hell, but at least I could get through the day without falling asleep at the table.
      Maybe 30% of the day was passed by Simming. Last night I chanced across a cheat called BuyDebug, which gave me quite a few milestones of leverage in the alchemy career. I now know what complete power feels like. Yes, it's pathetic to get it from a game; but today my Sim concocted Zombification and sometime, maybe tomorrow, I'm going to cause an apocalypse and wreak havoc on the town! And this BuyDebug cheat also gives me the option to lay spawners for fish, plants, mushrooms, gems, you name it; and I rocketed from one moonstone to seven. I also got eight sunstones now. I'm only three moonstones away from completing my own little wish - to have ten of them. They're an ingredient for the Bottled Lycan's Bite as well as the Bottled Witch's Brew, so I really only need two moonstones. I'm thinking once I have acquired eleven moonstones, I'm going to revive my gem-cutting ghost and have her chop one up into a pretty display. I used to loathe the idea of cutting up something so rare; but now that two are appearing each night, I would love to see how it looks. In addition they can bring up the value to one or even seven thousand dollars! Plus they sparkle off the walls, so I bought a display case and put them on stands and pillows. Wonder if I can edit their styles, too?
      I also put Deathfish, Luminous Salamander and Fairy Damsel spawners into the pond at the back of the science lab. Apparently "Buy On This Lot" doesn't appear in the ocean, so I needed a body of water inside the grid. My little virtual world was not growing Glowing Orbs, nor was it producing the aforementioned fish in the water; so I cheated and put them there myself. Sometimes you just have to take matters into your own hands, I guess.
      My graveyard is growing. Eric Peters The First is the next to die, but he's my alchemist. Thankfully he's going to keep his skill mastered as a ghost, just like his fishing-master sister and his gardening-master sister-in-law. Two Sims have died from transmuting gold, and their deaths were without a single doubt the funniest Sim-deaths I have ever seen. The woman died first, trying to run away from the Philosopher's Stone. She was looking over her shoulder. Then the man died, looking ahead in absolute terror, shielding his face with both hands. So, I created a little room just for solidified Sims, and now it looks like she's about to crash into him. It's pretty comical.
      And if I ever get bored of them; they are solid gold, selling for fifty grand each. But I like how it looks like an impending collision, so I might keep them. Sure, it bumps up the bills to the thousands, but heck, they already have almost three hundred thousand; so I guess it'll take a long while before it starts to put the strain on them. And I can probably just move the statues to the graveyard. Maybe that would drop the cost of the bills and let me keep the statues, too...I don't know. I've never had a Sim fill their own veins with gold before. I suppose it's kind of like Lady Deathstrike, when Logan fills her with adamantium and it cools inside her bloodstream and turns her into a rock.
      Eric has every ingredient required for every alchemy recipe. It's awesome. With him, I can do anything. I already cured his vampirism, because I was tired of having him housebound during the day. They don't really do much, other than read minds and rob the supermarket anyway.
      Let's see...Well, speaking of X-Men, I was able to catch a few snippets of Origins today. I ate a few times, and...I have been boring myself to death the rest of the time. I played some Facebook Scrabble, but that only takes you so far. Washed my hair, but hell, it'll probably be gross again by tomorrow. My glasses sure don't stay clean long; I cleaned them and had to do it again an hour later. My brother says they're not dirty, they're just horribly scratched. So, there's a silver lining, I suppose.
      I started and finished Alone At Ninety Foot in less than twenty-four hours. It's kind of depressing that my biggest achievement is whipping through a book so fast, but at least if I had been studying for a test on Pamela Collins, I'd have aced it.
      Well, there's probably nobody out there reading this. It'll probably be a week or two old before it gets a view that isn't from me. I'm boring you, I'm boring me, and my book is going nowhere if I'm writing here. Well, my book isn't really going anywhere if I'm writing it; but that's not the point. I think I'll go eat again, maybe watch the second movie lent to me. Or maybe I'll peruse YouTube again, or go to bed early. Or...whatever. Like Pamela, I will cross that bridge when I get to it; and hope nobody pushes me off.

Friday, February 13, 2015

It And Them

      Whoever first said money can't buy happiness was an idiot. A wealthy idiot who never knew suffering and therefore took his riches for granted. Of course it can buy happiness. Want to know why? Because it buys everything. A house, a pet, jewelry, clothes, whatever surgery you may need - anything your heart may desire. With money, there are no limits.
      Money buys happiness every day. And people like them wonder why people like me are so depressed. WE'RE BROKE!
      People who say money can't buy happiness really piss me off. If they knew what trying to decide between rent and food was like, they would shut the hell up.