Saturday, January 13, 2024

OTR

       I think I'm going to wait a week, two if I feel generous; then delete my Facebook account. I'm just so tired of waiting on people, giving them chances. It's not flattering when they fall asleep in the middle of a conversation. It's not flattering when they'd rather play a videogame. It's not flattering to know I've wasted, let's see, nine months and twelve hours waiting, waiting, waiting.
      I miss the girl I was. No third chance, no emotions. I know most people want to be progressive and move forward. I just want to go back...
      So, I just spent the past half hour checking all my apps, to see if I require a Facebook account to use them. I think I'm in the clear. I only have to check Steam, and I will, once it lets me log out so I can actually see the login method. Look at that, even a program has me waiting.
    Seriously? Fuck my life. I'm also thinking of deleting my dev-iantART account too, finally. Going completely off the radar. Nobody important to me is talking to me, so seriously, what's the point? I may not believe I ever had a higher purpose, but I know damn well, I wasn't put here so other people can break my heart as much as they want.
      All I wanted, in the entire freaking world, was one friend. That's it, one friend who wouldn't make me wait! Who wouldn't abandon me, wouldn't ghost me and turn me away. It's ridiculous; rich people can get away with asking for money; but on every planet in every galaxy, no friends. I didn't even do anything wrong. Well, no, I've done shitloads wrong, but not to them. I've done nothing of relevance wrong. Hell, maybe it's the gifts I gave them that pushed them away. And, sis, if you're reading this, seriously, upload some pictures or send me my camera back; it's been five years!
      Nah. Who am I kidding? The Internet's a big place. It requires room in one's world. You know what, break my camera like you broke yours, I don't care anymore. I'm just done. I might as well go hunt down my knife and prove it. It's the only scenario that cheers me up anyway.

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