Well, my life has taken a depressing turn; I sleep from 8 AM to 10 PM and can only be truly happy with an energy drink in my hand. And I would like to rant about very horrific issues, but I can't. It affects more people than me and there's that whole privacy thing. Let's just say that when I'm staying in bed forever, I'm not sleeping.
I can't believe that technically, I'm addicted to drinking. And I'm probably acting like an actual alcoholic, but if I could just find a damn cure for my insomnia, I would probably start living. 27 years late. I fucking hate this; my eyelids feel like they're on fire. All the time.
My landlord has gone through two evictions in the past several months; and now he wants to evict the newest tenants. I really hope the third time's the charm.
Honestly, the only good news I have is that I completed my collection of The Big Bang Theory DVDs. And I'm not sure this counts as good news, since I don't even like this movie, but I also bought Frozen. Since my computer was upgraded to Windows 10, I have been unable to access Putlocker. My last attempts brought on a torrent of ads that I could not escape. And so, even though I almost hate this movie, I own it now and even plan on buying the sequel, since I will not be able to watch it unless it's on my shelf. Besides, I've grown to hate movies I loved; maybe this time it will work the opposite way. And if not, I can sell them.
Of course, when I bought the movie, my biggest concern was not having any more money for energy drinks, which I don't. I hate this. I hate that my first waking thought is whether I can afford them and if it's early enough. I truly wish I could go back in time and not try them at all.
“And I would like to rant about very horrific issues, but I can't. It affects more people than me and there's that whole privacy thing.”
ReplyDelete— I’m always here to listen, if you’d like to e-mail me to talk. I don’t know if it’s any of my business, or if I can even help, but if you think there’s any chance I can, I’m here for you.
“I hate that my first waking thought is whether I can afford them and if it's early enough. I truly wish I could go back in time and not try them at all.”
— This sounds almost exactly like an addiction to alcohol or cigarettes; not just how it affects you in the normal ways (mentally, physically, financially) but also, your hating it and wishing you had never started. I don’t know for sure what that’s like, except that I was always afraid to try ‘energy drinks’, same as I was afraid to try other addictive things. I was honestly sitting here thinking you were braver than I was, more adventurous, but I’m glad now that I didn’t try those things. That’s not to say I don’t feel sort of depressed when I can’t have pop or chocolate (my addictions), but after a few days without them, I don’t even want them! It’s like my body wakes up out of its addiction trance and reminds me, “Hey, idiot, that stuff’s not even good for you; why would you want it?”. (I’m calling myself an idiot here, NOT YOU, lol) ^_^ Maybe you should try quitting ‘cold turkey’ too, at least see how you feel after a week or so. Hopefully, once you get over the part where it feels like there’s no point in getting out of bed (and, I’m assuming with energy drinks, the ‘crash’ where you feel extra tired), you’ll feel a lot better.
Contact me ANYtime you need to talk, okay? E-mail, phone, Facebook, on DA, YouTube . . . any way, any time. I’m here for you. Love you :)
I wish that were my case. Now I'm dreaming about shoplifting the things I want. Or that I'm rearranging a fridge full of them.
DeleteThanks. Love you too. ^^