I just got up from a six-hour nap, during which I actually slept, finally. I was able to fall asleep twice. The reason I'm over the moon about that is because I got zero sleep at all last night. I was too anxious for payday...which didn't even happen.
I prepared for this day. I did everything, which almost never happens because I'm constantly at war with myself over how I should spend my time. For once I did all I was supposed to do, and I did it right. And of course, I got no sleep, so I just wanted to get this day over with. Sounds reasonable, doesn't it? But wait! Last week I spent every dime on my $300 safety net savings on gro-ceries. Yet, today, when we were supposed to go shopping in full, she couldn't even be bothered to think of me long enough to pick up a lousy bottle of applesauce, or a single pack of Boost, to get me through the day. (No teeth, if you're not familiar with my blogs.) She and Brother aren't stressed to the hilt, because they can eat whatever they like. I, on the other hand, cannot; and I was at least hoping to get into the store myself. Want to know why I didn't? Because We don't need to. No, you don't need to. I'm too tired. Stop complaining, at least you slept!
I am just so pissed. I have been since, oh, 9AM? This isn't the first time payday was pushed off to the side at a time when we could afford the food, and could not afford to wait to buy it.
I think tomorrow I'm not going to bother going out. But I need your help. Well, I needed yours today. I was ready to go, I got all my shyt done, and once again you threw a monkey wrench into Brother's and my plans to, you know, survive? I'm doing everything I can to keep you alive. If that were true, would I be venting right now? No, I'd be eating right now.
Am I mad about nothing? Am I overreacting? How can you still be venting on this from 9AM? Well, why don't you talk to me tom-orrow at 7:30PM and tell me if you're still mad? You're hurting all three of us! Uh, no, I'm not; you're the one who takes the money and f-cks off!
I prepared for this day. I did everything, which almost never happens because I'm constantly at war with myself over how I should spend my time. For once I did all I was supposed to do, and I did it right. And of course, I got no sleep, so I just wanted to get this day over with. Sounds reasonable, doesn't it? But wait! Last week I spent every dime on my $300 safety net savings on gro-ceries. Yet, today, when we were supposed to go shopping in full, she couldn't even be bothered to think of me long enough to pick up a lousy bottle of applesauce, or a single pack of Boost, to get me through the day. (No teeth, if you're not familiar with my blogs.) She and Brother aren't stressed to the hilt, because they can eat whatever they like. I, on the other hand, cannot; and I was at least hoping to get into the store myself. Want to know why I didn't? Because We don't need to. No, you don't need to. I'm too tired. Stop complaining, at least you slept!
I am just so pissed. I have been since, oh, 9AM? This isn't the first time payday was pushed off to the side at a time when we could afford the food, and could not afford to wait to buy it.
I think tomorrow I'm not going to bother going out. But I need your help. Well, I needed yours today. I was ready to go, I got all my shyt done, and once again you threw a monkey wrench into Brother's and my plans to, you know, survive? I'm doing everything I can to keep you alive. If that were true, would I be venting right now? No, I'd be eating right now.
Am I mad about nothing? Am I overreacting? How can you still be venting on this from 9AM? Well, why don't you talk to me tom-orrow at 7:30PM and tell me if you're still mad? You're hurting all three of us! Uh, no, I'm not; you're the one who takes the money and f-cks off!
“For once I did all I was supposed to do, and I did it right. And of course, I got no sleep, so I just wanted to get this day over with. Sounds reasonable, doesn't it?”
ReplyDeleteTotally. I usually can’t sleep before we go somewhere, so I often want to get going shortly after I wake up . . . and G. likes to drink a whole pot of coffee and wait at least an hour after he wakes up to see if he’ll feel like going (he has food allergies, so sometimes an upset stomach doesn’t kick in right away) - and while I understand the logic of it, there are days when we hang around for not one, but three hours while he plays video games. Sometimes by the time he’s ready to go, I’m ready to forget about it and go back to bed for some much-needed sleep!
“But wait! Last week I spent every dime on my $300 safety net savings on groceries.”
That sucks! Is she going to pay you back?
“She and Brother aren’t stressed to the hilt, because they can eat whatever they like. I, on the other hand, cannot; and I was at least hoping to get into the store myself. Want to know why I didn’t? Because We don’t need to. No, you don’t need to. I’m too tired. Stop complaining, at least you slept!”
I know how you feel - I have trouble eating most foods, and there are times I just go hungry (especially when we’re out of town and I don’t have access to a kitchen). That said . . . couldn’t you go to the store on your own? I know it’s a lot less convenient, but if Mom isn’t remembering (or simply unwilling) to take you, it might be better than being hungry . . .
“This isn't the first time payday was pushed off to the side at a time when we could afford the food, and could not afford to wait to buy it.”
Really? Wow, that sucks! Does she really take off with the money and then not come home with food (especially food you can eat)?
Three hours! Wow, that's a bit much. On paydays, I don't give myself the luxury of I don't really feel like it - I just go out and get it done. However I totally understand the allergy and upset stomach bit...
ReplyDeleteYes, I think she will pay me back. I think we agreed on $200, which is fine, because I have an extra hundred in my account. No idea why, but that's twice in a row. If it continues I'll be able to get a new computer (and maybe ink, too) in 2017. (Fingers crossed; I have four books I want to preserve and I do not want to print them out by hand!)
Yes, I could go on my own, but I run the risks of getting lost, having an asthma or epileptic attack, and running into animals or people who would give me trouble. Not to mention I don't come with a heater. It's been cold, wet and windy for awhile now...
Most of the time she provides, or leaves some money with us in case we need it; but yes, there has been a time or two where we had nothing. Thankfully on those nights it's right before payday, and also she comes home with takeout, and sometimes it's amazing exotic food.
I hope you get your stuff printed before anything bad happens ... I remember losing writing I was doing years ago, when I trusted computers not to crash and lose it ...happened about two months ago with a fanfic I was writing; the computer disconnected from the wall and when I reopened the document, it was blank! Everything I'd written was gone ... so now I have two identical documents on the (slow) go; every time I add to the fanfic, I copy the whole thing and paste it over the other document so I always have a current backup :p
DeleteAh, yes, pre-payday-hunger - been there, haha :(
I just save my work on one document after every sentence. I learned my lesson after losing thirty pages of work. I was proud of it, but of course if I could see it now I'd probably be ashamed.
DeleteI had saved my document, too, but when the computer disconnected from the outlet, all the words in the document, even the stuff I'd re-saved thirty times since beginning it, were gone . . . so I have to assume any open document is at risk for loss if the power goes out, and backups would be a good idea :p
DeleteWell, that shouldn't have happened! It's never happened to me or anyone else I know.
DeleteI hate losing work, and time...
Me too, and I agree...
Delete