Nothing Going As Planned

      Communication in my family is more buggered than ever; now there is a false rumor that somebody died. Spoiler alert, he didn't. The only good thing about this week is that I finished my biggest book ever. And it's safely stored online...at least, until the site is taken down. It's been up since 1998, but the way my luck is going, it'll be obsolete before the new year. The snowfall caused my window to frost over and cause a flood in my bedroom, there was water on my wires; the neighbor who helped us evict the dumbass is now turning into him...so we pretty much have to go through all this shit all over again.

      And earlier this year, one of my friends died, then another one announced that she's dying, and another friend's husband just had a heart attack.

      And I just closed off the worst save of The Sims 3 I ever had. And, apparently, my blood isn't getting enough oxygen, so I'm basically suffocating in my own body. And for some strange reason, my pee and my tears and my menstrual blood are cold. Maybe it's a link.

      I am not fucking happy. I just want one thing, one fucking thing, to go my way. For once in my life.

...

       After eight months of not playing The Sims 3 so long I was incorrectly saying it had been two years, not joking, my brother figured out the problem and fixed it. Just like that, I've been in gamer paradise for the past few days.

      I also found this amazing website where I can watch basically anything, with zero ads...once I get past the bandwidth overload problem. Tonight, however, it wasn't a problem...so I binge-watched six or seven episodes of Lucifer. I love the characters, the jokes, and the scene where one of the angels gets beheaded in the stadium and his head goes spinning through the air. It made me think of Penny from The Big Bang Theory, when she says, "I bet I can get a nice tight spiral on him."

      Well, actually, I didn't really care for Ella or Charlotte. Drop in the bucket. I thought maybe the former would become more than just barely tolerable when she lost her faith; but any Lucifer fan knows that was temporary. I gave it more than a fair shake, mostly because I cannot stand interrupting a marathon. I don't even like pressing the pause button. I found the show to be quite predictable; and yes, it is centered on religion...but I knew what I was getting myself into. Let's just say I thought the clip of Lucifer's devil face making Charlie laugh was the moment I decided to see it all the way through.

      Still, when Dan accidentally possesses the convict, can't escape the body, and has reservations about continuing to inhabit the body of a wanted fugitive...I kind of thought the solution was obvious. Dan should have killed Le Mec. Dan is a ghost, he would be unharmed, the criminal would die, Dan would be free. Simply blathering to his daughter in a park somehow alleviating his guilt and giving him leeway to heaven... Definitely did not predict that.

      And when Chloe was uncertain which twin she encountered, Michael or Lucifer; I kind of thought, "Okay, she's going to stab him, or cut him. If he doesn't bleed, it's Michael." Unfortunately that didn't happen, either.

      There are definitely some things I'd have done differently for the show. All I know, is that it feels so good to go back to stupid non-problems. After Covid this, death that, I've really needed to just nerd out. Between this post and my last, I lost an aunt to cancer, and a Facebook friend. Cause unknown. Now another Facebook friend is dying. Family communication is all buggered; apparently the people who are always so nice to me, have started this rumor that I'm a horrible person. And maybe I am, because it felt pretty good. So, whatever. It just tells me I have the right idea; trust no one.

      The good news is, I am more than one month off energy drinks. Life is much less enjoyable, but holy shit, I can actually get through the day without this burning desire to go shopping.

      I hate shopping. And I hate people who love shopping. I was so addicted, you guys, it was fucking crazy. The way I was going? $2,400 annually. Flushed away, quite literally. I mean, every sip told me it was worth it; but the math was devastating. So, whenever I start to crave, which has actually only been twice in the past month; I just do the math again. The craving goes away. I truly think I'm going to beat this. I think I already have. The best part? I didn't even have a support team. It's good news for my kidneys. And if I cave, well, then I'll go down in sweet fizzy failure. Still costs less than my family's habits...which I had to finance this payday, piss me off. I'm also the reason we can afford to do laundry every month. They don't chip in for that! And really, do you think splitting the cost of $100 three ways is too much to ask? At least it's actually for a good reason. It pisses me off so bad that we can't function as roommates. I can't approach them on this or anything else. Apparently I've fallen into some crevice where paying for the laundry is my obligation alone. And if I have to waste $250 on tobacco, a product I'm never going to use, then it's just my too bad. They paid me back...after he said he would make her pay and then I ended up confronting her myself, and she said it was all house money and the IOU she promised she would make good on really didn't matter. You know, I don't care if it all goes back into the house. I never said, "Buy me $250 worth of energy drinks! I'll pay you back. Well, I won't, but it's okay."

      Shit. Here they are telling me $3 for one drink is too much. No, we can't afford that, are you nuts? Tight budget! Now go away while I give myself cancer. It's sooo relaxing.

      They've tried quitting smoking so many times. Last time, the resolution lasted minutes. I'm the only one who's actually succeeding. Before I mentioned the IOU, she was ordering wine. She had the money to pay me back, and she wanted to get drunk. Oh, but don't worry, you guys. Her kidneys are fine. Because it's not the alchohol! It's the food! That's honestly her opinion. If she stops eating, and diets on wine, she'll get better. And the doctors? What the hell do they know? It's not like they went to medical school. The Lord will make her well.

      Ugh. Respect, to all the nurses out there. And if you want to poke a brain with a needle, to make the patient happy all the time, I'm available for experimentation.

Birthday

      I turned 29 today and it did not start out well. The luck of the snowfall is objective, I suppose. But I began my day with a headache from the night before, which was so bad the light coming in through my window looked red. And there were other things physically wrong with me, which I don't care to discuss. Not like anyone is reading this, anyway, I suppose. Following that beauty came a horrific nightmare, definitely among my worst top three. I guess getting introduced to Lucifer and also having just completed a Walking Dead marathon helped conceive the dream; I was sitting on the counter, and my brother had taken in these three horrible dogs. Vicious little beasts. They were laying on the kitchen floor, gnawing the flesh off one another. Their teeth were all bloody and my mother was too afraid to get her coffee. And I was trying to get my brother to remove the dogs, and he looked at me and said, "They're Lucifer's dogs. They're distracted, you're fine."

      Yeah, that was a nasty dream. They looked like a tie between pugs, and Gollum. After that loveliness, I woke up to pizza, 7Up, chocolate ice cream, chocolate sauce, and chocolate cake with chocolate icing. I hope this time they help me eat it.

      Well, it tastes good and I've got movie food for a week, so that's nice. Eh, my heart wasn't in great condition anyway. The highlight of my day was signing into Facebook to see at least 30 birthday wishes from people I only know from my groups. They never did that before; my only reasoning is that I've been on a roll making them laugh.

      I'm also in the middle of having my biggest book published. Well, technically I'm near the end. I've got everything figured out; I just need to figure out how to bridge it together. And maybe, even though caffeine withdrawal is a bitch, I think I'm actually going to kick my energy drink addiction. As for my special day, I think I'm about ready to call it quits. I'll probably kill the remaining time with some more episodes of Lucifer, put on some Vicks to help me sleep, and see what kind of nightmare I can get.

      OH, and my asshole neighbor moved out. And my other asshole neighbor might be in trouble with the landlord, too. Fingers crossed.