Wednesday, April 21, 2021

I'm Scared

       When we were doing our taxes, I had to stand there like an idiot with the form and try to remember how I sign my name. And this morning, after dreaming about arguing with my stepfather, I could not for the life of me remember his. Or that I was hurting until I moved the wrong way. I know I'm forgetful, and realizing I'd forgotten surprised me.
      I haven't forgotten anything critical in a long time. Small stuff, mostly; where I put something, what day it is, the name of a celebrity. I forgot my own name in the first grade. I thought I was getting better, but I guess I'm not. I guess it'll just keep getting worse.

Friday, April 16, 2021

I Must Be Tired

       I'm running on about 20 minutes of sleep. Had to wake up almost as soon as I started dreaming to take care of my taxes, haven't slept since. So I was just trying to say, "When you were down for your nap, I had two sandwiches." And somehow it came out as, "When you were down for your sandwiches, I had two naps." And then I narrowly avoided saying that I was tonguing on my trip, so I think I'm about ready to crash.

Friday, April 9, 2021

Untitled

      Well, I finished that new book. Took me only 19 days. But, it's in script format; the detail is whittled down to about 1%. Even so, I'm quite happy with the result. I finally achieved my goal by writing a book that reads as though it was written by someone else. And best of all, I'm feeling pretty damn good.
      I also restarted my House marathon. The last time I saw it all the way through was also the first time, and when I got to the end I was...disappointed. It felt like there would be more. It was an open road with open ends. Then again, every episode of House has un-explained bits and pieces; like why a doctor who had moved to Chicago reappeared all of a sudden without mentioning why and her group of friends don't seem to give a damn. And the doctor who got fired, never actually leaves either; and the doctor who gets promoted to Dean Of Medicine is still taking orders from....a guy who now works for him.
      So, yes, the show is very complicated. Last night's episode, too! These doctors typically have to break into their patients' houses and snoop for clues, and they gave this episode a dramatic ending that makes no sense. The doctor asks a little boy, "Do you know where your dad is?" and then his father walks out of the house, and the footage slows down and the camera zooms in; it's like I'm supposed to recognize him as a different character or a criminal or something. But no, zero explanation.
      I like the characters, I like the cast, but the show itself is kind of sloppy. They had medical advisors to make sure everything was done properly, and they still made some mistakes; like restraining every seizure patient, having a guy pass out from chicken pox that hadn't appeared yet, getting a close-up image of a coin and calling it an air bubble, even misspelling medical terms.
      But, as I said, I've started over. And who knows? Maybe I'll see more mistakes.

Tuesday, April 6, 2021

...

       I'm feeling a little better now. Sore like you wouldn't believe, but at least I'm not wondering as often if humans can have their bladders removed without getting seriously ill. Probably not.
      And at least I have accomplished two things. One, if I'm in my own bedroom and it's a clear day; I can tell the time by looking at the shadows. I'm hardly ever wrong! And two, I've started a new book based on a brand new idea, it's my first time trying to write it, and it's actually going well! Normally on my millionth try, I want to give up and don't have the good sense to.

Friday, April 2, 2021

Damn It!

       I am having the worst fucking morning. Technically it began last night, when I lost count how many times I almost fell. I decided to go to bed for my own safety. Slept for half an hour, woke up before midnight, and I have been awake ever since; peeing and peeing and peeing and peeing and peeing and peeing. It should be impossible for the human body to contain this much urine.
      I am so tired. I just want to sleep for a nice long time and wake up with dry pants!
      I hate my life. I hate my life I hate my life I hate my life I hate my life I hate my life I hate my life I hate my life I hate my life I hate my life I hate my life I hate my life I hate my life.